To ask my MIL to not Make my children stockings?

[Tertius]

I've got two dc (nearly 4 and 1.5) and I love making them a stocking from father Xmas, hanging it up on Xmas eve and watching them open it on Xmas morning.

Last year MIL seemed surprised that I did this and made my children a stocking herself - she does it for her husband and sons and now daughterinlawS and it seems she does it for the grandchildren too. This year we had Xmas at my family so I didn't think I needed t tackle the subject as we were only going to inlaws for a few days after New Year. Low and behold, when we turned up she had stockings for all of us.

It is obviously very kind and generous but I really feel two stockings is not right as it spoils the mystery of the first and also spoils the children with so much.

Would I be unreasonable to ask her not to? (she isn't the kind to speak to me about these things first. Very kind but quite domineering and formidable).

Father Christmas is the one thing I really would loveyo be utterly special and magical for my kids and I feel a second stocking lessens the impact....

I should mention that the stocking opening with the inlaws is very communal and 'an occasion'.

What do you think. I'm getting myself in an overtired tizzy about this. But I hate confrontation! How do I deal with it?

Whadyathink???

Please reread your post and see how petty you sound.

Your stocking is the "real" one from FC. And explain the other one toyour DC as the special granny stocking.

I think that if she does them for everyone else, and it is a communal occasion, your children shouldn't be left out.

Children are very good at rationalising any inconsistencies regarding FC and the provision of presents.

So you would prefer your children not to have a stocking when everyone else has one?? YABU

I wouldn't worry about it or try to stop her. Children can cope with endless variations on Christmas without losing the magic. They want to believe in it all so they are generally very accepting.

I agree with Mardy; nothing will spoil the special excitement of having their 'proper' stocking on Christmas Day at home. It would be a bit sad for them to miss out on a communal family occasion and its so a good idea to go with it, but make this different/separate it in their minds by referring to it as the Grandma Stocking (that also nicely sidesteps any questioning about FC as the first is clearly magical, while the second is very much from Granny!)

I think you are getting in a bit of a tizz over nothing.

She sounds very generous and clearly loves your DC.

I would roll with it. Just tell your DC that Father Xmas brings the real stockings and Granny does her own. I can't think your DC will object ESP as it means more presents.

YABU.

Grandparents can't do right for doing wrong really.

You're worrying about next Christmas already?! In the nicest possible way, go and get a hobby or something.

Why can't she give the same presents without them being in a stocking though - just have a pile of stuff from grandma, and keep FC out of it

Oh my!! Yabu!!!

And what does your DH think? His kids too.... You can't plan and be in charge of every aspect of the dc life, they don't actually 'belong' to you you know!!

I'm not sure what you can do about it, especially if you are with others. How does she give it? Are they small presents which are just packaged up in the stocking? I would let that go.

Or does she do the whole look what Father Christmas left for you? Then maybe you could gently explain that in your family Santa delivers a stocking on Christmas Eve, then all other presents are from the giver.

My mum has always done a stocking/box for her gc. They are 15,17,21 and 23. She nearly got lynched this xmas when she suggested she wouldnt do it next year.

YABU and ridiculous, sorry OP.

Count your blessings that you have a family who cherishes who children and likes to do special things for them.

This year my children got nothing from anybody other than us.

I think it would be very mean, selfish and ridiculous if you put a stop to it.

My dad does this too. He started doing it for the grandchildren when there were only three. Now there are ten I think he regrets it but the children love it!

It irritated me a bit the first time - especially as he was surprised that I did one for DS. My sisters don't do stockings though so these stockings are the only stockings that their children get.

I don't think DS ever minded having two stockings.

YABU. You really want your mil to not do a stocking for her grandchildren, even though she does one for everyone else......fgs, get a grip. If that's the only thing regarding your in laws you've got to complain about then consider yourself lucky!

So IABU? That's why I ask.

It's in the light of overbearing PIL.

WIBU to ask her to keep them a bit smaller? Stocking Orgy otherwise!

Yabu. It sounds lovely to have a Granny stocking.

Agree with everyone else, let her do it and be thankful. Children cope with Santa doing different things in different years and with different families it's part of the magic don't over think it

Let the grand parents do it. You get to do everything else and see the joy in their faces Christmas morning. This is obviously a long standing tradition and they want to do it for your children too. It's lovely and what lucky children to have loving grandparents and family literally fighting over who gets to give them the most. My parents have always done my dds stocking it brings them so much joy to do this for their grand children.

Why was she surprised that you did one? I think that's odd. It would be surprising if parents didnt do one for their own children

It is obviously very kind and generous but I really feel two stockings is not right as it spoils the mystery of the first

God, I'd love your life.

What Holly said.

One day you'll be a grandparent - hopefully not one on the receiving end of mean spirited pettiness like this.