'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

[TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras]

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.

BREATHE!!!!

Actually OP, if you are for real, I'm only three years older than you.

The only difference is I don't allow my kids to scream in public and I earn enough not to have to shop in Tesco

Nancy66 that kind of comment does only one thing. It exposes you as a total arsehole.

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras completely with you on this. I'm also failing to understand how people are sensitive enough to be deeply offended by the comment "old bag", especially when it's not even aimed at them.

Judging by this thread we are expected to accommodate rude behavior from an old person which we wouldn't from a younger person. Isn't that "ageist" in itself?

As for the people who can't cope with a screaming child at a supermarket, do your shopping online if everyday life stresses you out that much...

The comparison of the the use of "old" with "black" is simply not a valid one. "Old bag" is a well-known term used in all sorts of contexts, "black bag" is simply not a known term at all (other than when describing a bag that is black, obv.) This woman, whatever her age - and she may well have been younger than I am - was behaving like a judgmental old crone.

And frankly, Nancy66, so are you. And you're definitely younger than me.

I think that ship had already sailed minieggs.

OP try not to dish out insults, however justified because it just makes the judgey smuggards feel vindicated.

Should I go back through the thread akaemma?!

It never ceases to amaze me when people post in AIBU and then flounce when they are told that they are! Perhaps we need a forum entitled "I am not being unreasonable, only post here if you agree".

Also, at 41, it is a sham you have to resort to bullying tactics such as foul language and insults to try to get your point across, it's hardly going to raise your credibility.

No Compos I don't call people "spaz" or "queer" nor do I call people black as a term of abuse

Alis But you are clearly happy to use the term 'old bag' which is a term of abuse based on the person's age.

I'm also failing to understand how people are sensitive enough to be deeply offended by the comment "old bag", especially when it's not even aimed at them.

No one is 'deeply offended' but people are rightly pointing out that she was being ageist. No one is making excuses for the rude lady but I'm not going to make excuses for the OP being rude on here either.

what crashdoll said

Compos calling someone "old" is not the same a calling someone a "spaz" or "queer". Nor is calling someone old the same as being racist for that matter.

Mind boggling that you would compare them really.

Just FYI: It has already been distinguished earlier in the thread that 'Old Bag' is not an ageist term.

As defined by the dictionary, it is a term describing an 'unpleasant woman'.

what dictionary is that then?

Really Alis why is it mind boggling?

Both terms make reference to a person's physical characteristics (age/race/disability) and attach a negative connotations to it. To my mind 'old bag' and 'black bastard' are in the same category. Albeit different levels of offence.

Read my post again, I didn't say you would use these terms, I am pretty sure you wouldn't, but to draw attention to the casual use of ageist language (And I have been guilty of this myself in the past)

one dictionary
link 2

I may not be Oxford, but it's out there!

that's not a reliable dictionary. Can you see a hint of agism in the picture they provide?

Oh my fucking Lord

Only on Mumsnet!!!

Years of past and present oppression/discrimination in the cases of disabled,gay and black people is what makes it different to me.

I don't see calling someone an "old bag" as being the same as calling someone a "queer" as being the same thing at all.

Calling someone an old bag is simply rude. It's not discriminatory. Unlike sacking somebody because they are older,that actually is age discrimination.

Being prejudiced against older people IS discrimination just as much as homophobia. Sneering and calling names because of a characteristic you can't help such as you sexuality, age, gender, race or disability is plain wrong and equally wrong for each category.

I assume that free online dictionary doesn't define 'old' in 'old bag' because they assume it is clearly a reference to age...

'That's not a reliable dictionary'.

sigh

Carry on.

It hasn't been distinguished it has been asserted, and the vast majority have disagreed. Please do tell us all how old does not refer to age?

and it has been defined by A dictionary, not the dictionary, big difference.

Look, here's a different one

Op- you would have had my sympathy more if you too hadn't resulted to insults.

You call this woman on old bag. What does she term you as?
A usless single mother?
A scrounging young mum?
An unfit mother?

All negative terms and interestingly no equivalent term for an old man.
Btw I am not suggesting that you are a single/youg/unfit mother but again all those terms are negative, as opposed to "married" woman etc etc etc.......

Equivalent male term would probably be old fart.

But you can be an old bag or old fart regardless of age.

And what is the big difference between screaming babies and screaming toddlers FiveFlowers? Educate me. Because I surely don't know, with two of my own.