'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

[TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras]

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.

BREATHE!!!!

Calling somebody an 'Old bag' because they are being an 'Old bag' isn't ageism- it's descriptive

It's perfectly possible to describe the person's behaviour as interfering, sanctimonious, unhelpful, rude - without needing to refer in a derogatory way to someone's age.

dontsteponthe, have you had your screamer's ears tested? Only you say he's very loud at home as well - it's worth checking, as small children often have glue ear and it's often months or years before anyone realises. Even my sister, a nurse, didn't pick up on her daughter's glue ear for ages and ages. We all felt v. guilty when it was finally diagnosed as we should have known... Another sign is if they are very fussy eaters esp. with any food that requires chewing, such as meat. If your ears are bunged up, it can make eating tough foods quite tricky and unpleasant.

dictionary link

Just FYI: The definition of 'Old Bag' has nothing to do with age.

Well not young upstart, who says that anymore?
How about young hooligan, which many of our teenagers are called, just by standing on street corners doing no harm to anybody.
It's another judgement just as old bag is to the old, I don't use either as I try not to use nasty judgmental language about anybody.

Haven't read the thread - skimmed a bit- see its turned into an ageist thread

I think that anyone of any age who has had children and makes a comment like 'my children have never screamed like that' has either a very short memory, selective memory or is a fibber ....or deluded

All children have meltdowns ...specially when strapped into trolleys and cant quite reach the sweeties which are placed so beautifully at the checkout to ensure perfect tantrums and freakouts ....no you can't have it just because its there!!!

So would you call children Foul Young Fuckers, Mrs Cumberbatch?

do people still say hooligan?

I do agree with the point that teenagers are also often discriminated against (having made it myself just a few moments ago)

but there is a difference between presupposing that somebody will offend in a certain way because of their age (ageism) and providing a reference to their age in describing how they have offended, because it is relevant to the type of attitude and rudeness they have exhibited.

I've never heard 'Young Hooligan' being used either. Hooliganism is a trait without an age. (It isnt ageist!)

The only terms that I can think of "Young" being used in conversations would be "Whippersnappers" and "Hearts" and neither of those actually have to be applied to "Young" people either. You can be 90 and be "Young Hearts"

And i actually do use "Young upstart", because the English language is fun and full of bizarre and odd phrases that can be misconstrued, misheard and misunderstood. And I am a language nerd.

LadyBeagle, if my toddler was being a foul wee fucker, you can be guaranteed that in my head I will be thinking "You Foul Wee Fucker"

I wouldn't say it to her though, as that would just be impolite

Ah well I give up.
I just try not to label or judge people by their age, that's all.
Anyway the Op got her bunfight and has long disappeared as will I.
Goodnight.

So...taking the descriptive justification a little further...what would the reaction have been if the OP had posted about "black fucker" or "crippled git" who had criticised her child's behaviour?

Black isn't a valid nor acceptable term to refer to a person as being, nor is crippled.

The OP's actual comment of "Smug Middle Aged Woman" is quite different. Clearly.

I don't think "old bag" is any more acceptable, sorry. I was trying to make the point that other discriminatory comment is (quite rightly) considered unacceptable, but ageism doesn't get the same reaction.

yabu for using PO

Old bag isn't actually a term describing age though. As I mentioned, it's perfectly possible to be an old bag at any age. (Sounds like an advert.....)

I do agree that ageism does get overlooked though. I'm 27 and have friends at work between 40 and 80. We can talk about ANYTHING, they are wonderful, funny, attractive and smart women - but in their workplaces they are largely ignored as their younger counterparts receive the majority of workload queries/etc.

You'd think that they would gain more respect from being in the field longer but no. Men get more distinguished and women lose out.

It is something that I think/worry about as my reputation counts for everything in my business.

That's interesting, and saddening mrsc

I'm the oldest person on my team, and I know I'm regarded as one of the most enthusiastic and energetic. I know my age isn't an issue (though it means I can get away with a bit more when dealing with our service users Perhaps being a career changer is one of the reasons I feel so passionately about the issue.

Oh great! So as a 40 yr old I'm likely to be ignored at work because of my age!? Its a fucking good job that I'm self employed then innit! I choose to ignore myself

Its quite cathartic really...would anyone like to join me in self ignorage? You don't get a lot done but its quite peaceful

I'm in antiques- so it's an 'old man profession'.

It's maddening as no matter how good or knowledgeable you can be, there are still men and women out there who don't trust knowledge coming from a woman and insist on seeing 'The man who owns the shop' (ie: the pensioner who does weekends for me as a hobby.)

It is strange if you consider that the majority of Primary education comes from women... (I'm not sure about the statistics for secondary and University but wouldn't imagine that there would be a huge gap?) Yet when it comes down to most other vocations outside of academia, women are STILL less well regarded than men.

I think a career change will be required before people assume that I'm incompetent (at least I have 20 or so years to train!!!)

mrscumberbatch I'm in antiques also - I have 25 plus years experience but I very rarely get taken seriously ....get to fuck all you dealers on the tele!!

Keep it up girl (woman) ...PM with your passions

PatFenis and Toughasoldboots - my work colleagues are between 40 and 80 and have all witnessed this in different circumstances.

The 'too old' remarks etc are of your own conjuring.Not my opinion. Thanks.

my parents would say something like that and probably follow it up with something like:

'Can't discipline children today without being accused of child abuse'

'That child wouldn't behave like that if they knew 'real' consequence for their actions, none of this behave or mummy will take one of your toys'

I could go on

Patfenis!!!! Nooooo way hahhaha you'll know exactly what i mean.

I specialise in silver victorian and edwardian jewellery, but of course, end up with all sorts! Was brought up in antique/jewellers family so it's in the blood- could identify a genuine piece of art deco jewellery from 20 paces at the age of 8

What's your forte?

there are still men and women out there who don't trust knowledge coming from a woman and insist on seeing 'The man who owns the shop' (ie: the pensioner who does weekends for me as a hobby

That must be infuriating.

Read back Mrs Cumberbatch :)