'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

[TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras]

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.

BREATHE!!!!

ilovesooty, it's all I have ever known.

I worked in insurance previously and it was much of the same. The men go out and play golf and make deals and the women stay in the office doing paperwork and making tea.

It's like madmen without the snazzy dresses.

Patfenis- apologies- I did but too late!

Victorian Jewellery, pottery,clothing omg anything that wasn't made in this century - I started this when I was 15 yrs old ...had a shop which was very successful ...long story ...gonna pm you with my email

Do it! Would love to hear from a fellow enthusiast/downtrodden female antiques peddlar

I'm rather considering the irony of accusing someone who works in antiques as being ageist...

Dear God I don't stand a chance.

I'm an old bag of 41 with a very willful 2 year old DS.

OP YANBU, I wish other people (of all ages) would keep their unhelpful, sarcastic comments to themselves.

Greensleeves I think I luff you.

ilovesooty, I know, I could've just said... but then I wouldn't have been able to get uppity about it

I have referred to people as old bags and probably have been referred to as an old bag myself.
Nothing worse that someone who feels it is their job to comment on your parenting. It's not welcome or helpful.
My sympathy is with the OP.

Well if it makes anyone feel better my ds is a terrible screamer. Absolutely awful. His older sister has been a dream and he, in most respects, is normal. But when he loses it he screams and I have absolutely no doubt that everyone within cooey is fervently wishing he'd disappear. Sorry on behalf of screamers! I have had a few comments but tbh nothing too unkind and besides it's true, his screaming is unacceptable.

To be fair to OP calling a woman of approximately 60 "middle aged" is very generous. 40-50 is middle aged.

And the woman sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant person so really "ageism"? Utterly ridiculous.

YANBU OP.

And the woman sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant person so really "ageism"? Utterly ridiculous

ALis So it is okay to use ageist terms if the person it is directed at isn't very nice? Is it therefore okay to refer to an Asian person as a 'Paki' or a Gay person as a 'queer' if they aren't pleasant to you or to refer to Abu Hamsa as a 'spaz'?

I think it is your logic that is 'utterly ridiculous.'

Aside from that OP, YANBU

Try substituting 'black' for 'old' and see how it sounds.

'black bag'?

I guess being compared to a refuse sack isn't great?

Well I've two autistic dc who at various times could have reduced where they were to rubble with their screams. I have said at various times:-

"So what!"

"mind your own business"

"Oh did you smack your kids then? See I don't do that!"

"Now, my mum always says that too but that really doesn't tie in with MY memory of my childhood. My Mum used to smack us to shut us up is that what you did too?"

And on one memorable occasion when I was bodily preventing ds from hurling himself in front of a bus "piss off and mind your own business you're making it worse!"

A derisive and disbelieving snigger works well too.

I would have found this annoying to OP. When my Dd was that age she was very quiet but she did have the odd screaning tantrum and I didn't appreciate the judgemental glares either.

Oh and "you deserve a medal!"

Next time and there will be a next time I might laugh and say "I don't believe you, all kids tantrum".

Jesus! Leave the op alone! She is clearly stressed with a young family, an obnoxious woman was rude to her (who does sound like an old bag to me) comes on here to vent, and you all jump on her? Shame on you all!

OP you have my sympathy. Shopping with all DCs in tow is bad enough without some old bag sticking their wizened old oar in. I am also in support of your description of her - even if she wasn't mathematically "old" she was certainly behaving like an old bag so you just carry on. The very fact that you didn't make a rude comment back to her shows that you are not obnoxious, as others have said. Well done for remaining dignified in the heat of the moment and letting off steam on her rather than on someone in DL. Don't worry about the grumpy people on here - older people always find fault in something

Mentioning age does not make ageist

Doesn't it? What if OP had referred to a "black (old) bag" or an "Irish (old) bag"?

Don't shout or is that where your child gets it from?

Yes, you're being unreasonable. You've already stated that your child is a screamer and that you find it difficult. She was rude to comment but she won't have be the only one to think it.

You lost the moral high ground when you started insulting her on here in the manner that you did. And you are being incredibly rude to other posters.

Oh my! Op, are you for real?

No Compos I don't call people "spaz" or "queer" nor do I call people black as a term of abuse.

Thanks for the very broad assumptions made about me though.