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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my newborn's name?

182 replies

MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 11:45

Having a hormonal morning. Finally decided on our baby's name after much deliberation yesterday and told a few friends who all said it was lovely.

My mother calls this morning and I tell her we have decided on Oliver James L.M (surname) to which she replied 'OH NO!!' Like I've told her I'm calling him Crap Bag or something Hmm this really upset me as I feel like I could never call him this now as I know she hates it.

So now DP has declared he doesn't like Oliver either and was 'going along with it for me' :( I really thought we both liked it as he has always expressed this.

Now I feel so confused, I really liked it and think it really suits him but now it's completely tainted and DP is looking up names like Ivander and Cassius Confused. I guess I'm upset because the baby has his surname and now he's going to choose the first name when I'm the one who carried him and pushed him out and will no doubt be doing the majority of caring as I'm ebf and he's back to ft work next week,

Sorry just needed to rant, feel so upset.

OP posts:
GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/01/2013 12:48

Tbh honest, i had my daughter named before she was even conceived, i fell in love with the name i chose, and didnt wanna call her anything else.

diddl · 05/01/2013 12:48

I like it.

Your Mum & husband don´t sound very nice tbh.

If he had agreed without liking it-more fool him.

If you still like it, use it.

When I told my Mum what we were calling our PFB she told me she didn´t like it.

I told her that I was informing her of the name of her first GS not asking for her bloody opinion.

Of course the first person she told said-"oh that´s lovely-& unusual"-so she was preeningHmm

I didn´t bother to tell her that they may have just been being politeGrin

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/01/2013 12:50

Also my daughters initials are P E G, no one better dare to call her Peg or Peggy.

diddl · 05/01/2013 12:51

My husband & I only ever agreed on the one boys name-there was no way we were going to change it!!

Good job PSB was a girl!!

PeshwariNaan · 05/01/2013 12:51

...and this is why we're not telling anyone our name choice until after baby's born and named...

PeshwariNaan · 05/01/2013 12:52

But, your DH and MIL are BU. Oliver James is lovely.

diddl · 05/01/2013 12:53

Peshwari-in the case of OP & myself, we didn´t-didn´t stop the hurtful comment from our mums though!

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/01/2013 12:58

OP Hugo is nice,out of the two you said you liked and DP really liked.

I like Dexter too but think it's a bit of the moment. And the moment will almost certainly have passed by the time I have a child.

RyleDup · 05/01/2013 13:01

We had the same problem op. My mum didn't like the name we had chosen, and dp changed his mind when ds was born too. I wouldn't have minded but it was dp who had chosen the name in the first place Angry. Anyway, it took weeks to decide on a new name. I did think about naming ds the name we had chosen anyway (for about a nano second), but decided it was a bad idea as dp might not bond with the baby so well if it was a name he now hated. Weeks later, when we still couldn't think of a name, dp said I could have the original name, but by then it was tainted. We finally settled on a new name the day before the 6 week deadline. I must say I love ds's new name now, but I was not happy at the time.

thehappycat · 05/01/2013 13:19

Lovely name. Stick to it OP.

Peevish · 05/01/2013 13:20

Stick to your guns, OP - your husband sounds like he's flipflopping in a maddening way, having presumably liked the name all along until someone disagreed.

Tastes in names are so ridiculously dependent on age, culture, social class etc etc - you can't please everyone, and you'll go mad trying. I adore my baby's name, which is Biblical, but (though they've never said so outright), I know both sets of grandparents are embarrassed by it, simply because it's not the kind of name they consider 'normal', as working-class Irish people who've never travelled. It's not even a particularly unusual name, and it's phonetically spelled and easily pronounced, but it's not John, Owen, Conor or Cian, which is what they think all little boys shoulod be called in case it makes them stand out in the playground.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/01/2013 13:26

Lovely name but it's shitty of them to start playing around like this.

We had the time from hell trying to name DD2 last year and i still hate that she has a name i'm not wild about. I would rather push out 20 babies in a row without gas and air than name another baby. It's the worst bit and should be one of the most fun bits.

Tailtwister · 05/01/2013 13:29

Well, for what it's worth I think it's a lovely name.

I'm sorry your mother has upset you, especially at such a sensitive time. However, you like it and that's what matters. Babies grow into their names and in a few months your mum won't be able to think of him as anything other than Oliver. I didn't particularly like DS1's name at first, but it was important to DH he named him after his Grandfather and now he couldn't be anything else!

Try to forget this upset and stick to your guns!

MargeySimpson · 05/01/2013 13:29

Everyone hated my DS's name. But everyone loves it now! I think it's important you and your DP are both happy though. We both had to compromise.

The second name thing, that's how I felt (that I carried him etc). At 18months i'm gutted he doesn't have a double barrell or my surname as his middle name! I feel like he doesn't belong to my side of the family!

TidyDancer · 05/01/2013 13:30

You need to agree on a name with your DH, your mum's opinion should not override that. However, as your DH is now saying he doesn't like it, that counts for a lot.

Ignoring the fact that your DH's name choices are horrible

Oliver is very popular now so if you were looking for something less common then it may not be the choice for you.

It really is up to your and DH only though. The only time you should listen to outside opinion is if something important is being pointed out to you, such as initials that spell S.H.I.T. or if you'd spelt it badly wrong, etc.

barbiecollector · 05/01/2013 13:32

Sorry to say this, but I think Cassius is a fabulous name. Oliver is very popular and a bit dull. People always remember you when you have an unusual name and I think you would be giving your DS a great service by naming him something interesting.

Just my opinion. Please don't be offended.

lockets · 05/01/2013 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmLouisWalsh · 05/01/2013 13:40

Oliver is a lovely, lovely name. Classic and timeless.

And as for popularity, DS1 has a name which is now quite unusual - despite being ten a penny when I was growing up - and found himself in a nursery class with another one. Sod's law and all that!

Original poster
MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 13:41

It's funny because I liked Cassius while pg and my DP turned his nose up at it, and now he likes it Hmm I don't mind it just don't think it suits him.

I didn't want people to tell me they love Oliver when I posted so definitely not offended if people don't like it. It's tainted now anyway and if DP doesn't like it I won't go with it.

Back to the drawing board!

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 05/01/2013 13:43

Oliver is a lovely name, but if your DH doesn't like it then you have to think of something you can agree on. It has nothing to do with your Mum.

Oliver James instantly made me think of Jamie Oliver!

everlong · 05/01/2013 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CommanderShepard · 05/01/2013 13:50

Oliver is lovely - DD was going to be Oliver had she been a boy. How very awful of your mum! It's one thing to express distaste at a proposed name but quite another when the baby has been named. Very unfair.

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo · 05/01/2013 13:53

Oliver is a lovely name! I personally think that as long as your DP doesnt hate it (which he cant do to agree with it in the first place) then you should stick with it! My DS2 is 15 days old, and called Bobby, one 'friend' remarked that 'its a dogs name'... Fricking charmer. People are just odd and rude.

thegreylady · 05/01/2013 13:56

Oliver is a lovely name and so is James.

HKat · 05/01/2013 13:58

In my opinion Oliver is a fab name - and James - but I agree that's not the issue, the issue is how dare your mum be so rude! For what it's worth my own mum drove me demented on this front last year before DD was born. Her preference was Charlotte which I did like and was actually on our list, but the way she banged on about it actually put me off in the end. Also on our list was Mia which dp and I both loved, but she hated. She would pull a face whenever it came up and say 'oh but is it Mia or Miah, I can never tell'...Yes you bloody well can, and even if not, you only need to be told once!!!! Grrr. As it happened when DD arrived she just didn't feel like a Mia, but that was bugger all to do with DM's opinion. I didn't call her Charlotte either :)

Your baby op, your choice. Well, and dp's of course and there's the rub. If he genuinely doesn't like Oliver James, then that's a shame, but it needs to be one both of you agree on. Personally I'm not keen on his choices either! If dd had been a ds he would have been William Robert (or vice versa).

Congratulations on your DS by the way!