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AIBU?

About my newborn's name?

182 replies

MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 11:45

Having a hormonal morning. Finally decided on our baby's name after much deliberation yesterday and told a few friends who all said it was lovely.

My mother calls this morning and I tell her we have decided on Oliver James L.M (surname) to which she replied 'OH NO!!' Like I've told her I'm calling him Crap Bag or something Hmm this really upset me as I feel like I could never call him this now as I know she hates it.

So now DP has declared he doesn't like Oliver either and was 'going along with it for me' :( I really thought we both liked it as he has always expressed this.

Now I feel so confused, I really liked it and think it really suits him but now it's completely tainted and DP is looking up names like Ivander and Cassius Confused. I guess I'm upset because the baby has his surname and now he's going to choose the first name when I'm the one who carried him and pushed him out and will no doubt be doing the majority of caring as I'm ebf and he's back to ft work next week,

Sorry just needed to rant, feel so upset.

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Viviennemary · 05/01/2013 12:17

Not Ivander please!

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Alisvolatpropiis · 05/01/2013 12:17

oops. Your mum* is being mean.

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WorraLiberty · 05/01/2013 12:19

Well Oliver is much nicer than Ivander or Cassius.

Why doesn't he go the whole hog and name him Tyson? Confused Grin

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besmirchedandbewildered · 05/01/2013 12:22

Whatever you decide to do next re the name, please don't tell your mum. Just say you're still thinking about it. Once your LO is born and she is presented with a gorgeous DGC she won't care if you call him Champion the Wonder Horse.
Oliver James is a lovely name. Ivander not so much IMO

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MrsLyman · 05/01/2013 12:22

Well Oliver means peace (unfortunately not accompanied by quiet) so if your DH is looking for names with meaning that is a pretty good one.

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besmirchedandbewildered · 05/01/2013 12:25

Sorry just reread OP, well that is just really rude of her. Really, really rude.
Sorry that's not v helpful. I think you need to find a name you and DP like though. And get LO registered asap before any more mind-changing!

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CaptChaos · 05/01/2013 12:25

Oliver is a lovely name. Ivander or Cassius are also ok, but if you don't want them, then don't have them.

Why did MiL do the Oh no thing? What objections did she raise? People can have irrational difficulties with names for various reasons. I couldn't call a child Kate or Michael for example, because I have had really awful experiences with people with those names. Could that be it?

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NorthernLurker · 05/01/2013 12:28

The baby is born already isn't he?

I have sympathy with your friends as I don't like the name Oliver either. Just doesn't float my boat. He's not our baby though. He's your son and you and dp should agree his name and stuff everyone else. It does sound like DP had been a bit wet about this and should have sid earlier that he doesn't like it. I think you both need to make a top three list and see if you can come to an agreement.

To get you started Grin I like:


Sebastian
Peter
Benedict
Arthur
Ivo
Daniel

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MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 12:30

DP said Ivander means 'good man' and said we should go with something with a good meaning rather than just on the name alone. Idk.

Baby is nearly 2 weeks old now so I guess I'm fretting.

Thank you for making me smile and realise I shouldn't give a shit if my mum likes it or not.

Me and DP will carry on looking I guess. He really liked Hugo or Dexter, which I guess I liked

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ceebie · 05/01/2013 12:31

Tell your Mum very kindly that you are not asking for and do not wish to be told her opinions on your choice of name for your child. It is hard enough to choose a name that you and DP can agree on, it would be impossible to get one that all the grandparents love too! They will just have to learn to like whatever you choose - whether Oliver or Englebert.

As for your DP, whilst you want a name that he likes too, remind him to be a bit more sensible - you have a major say in this - as you say, your child already has his surname - so why on earth is he trying to champion names you don't like?

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HoratiaWinwood · 05/01/2013 12:31

Those are two of my DC2's names so I obviously approve. Despite its popularity we always get compliments.

I never call him Ollie, although others do. He's shortened to Pops because he was windy when tiny and known as Ollypops.

Congratulations on your newborn!

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MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 12:32

It wasn't mil who was rude, it was my bloody mother.

I like Sebastian and Benjamin too but DP didn't, we never agree.

He likes Marlow too.

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TheUnsinkableTitanic · 05/01/2013 12:33

i was about 5 weeks naming 1 of our children

just leave it for a few days :)

congratulations btw

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ceebie · 05/01/2013 12:33

Make a joint list of names you both like, and whittle down from there. There's no point having any names on the list that one of you doesn't like.

Don't fret, plenty of time still!

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MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 12:34

Thank you :)

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GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/01/2013 12:34

My choosen boys names are,
Lucas Oliver, thats my fave,
Odin,
Max,
Quinn,
Jake
Christopher.

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PickledInAPearTree · 05/01/2013 12:36

Oh I like Oliver!

Take a few more days it won't hurt. Perhaps don't tell your mum till the deed is done.

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MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 12:36

Apparently my mum doesn't like it because she worked wih an Oliver before who smelt Hmm and my grandma won't be able to pronounce it (from another country)

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Proudnscaryvirginmary · 05/01/2013 12:37

Honestly I think it says a lot about your confidence to actually think of changing your own child's name because some people don't/wont like it.

Having said that your mother was horrendously rude, unkind and selfish to say that and I understand how it will always stick in your mind. Stupid woman.

You did make me Grin with your 'Crap bag' comment though.

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PickledInAPearTree · 05/01/2013 12:37

Where is your grandma from?

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MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 05/01/2013 12:41

He's my confidence isn't the greatest, you're right, but I did tell her it was none of her business and that she's named 3 children and this is mine to name so I did stand up to her. She texted an apology but my sister called and said mum had said she really didn't like it.

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QuickQuickSleigh · 05/01/2013 12:41

Oliver means peacemaker doesn't it? That's a lovely meaning.

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M0naLisa · 05/01/2013 12:41

We have Charlie-James and some people were abit Blush but so what he's our child and its our choice

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GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/01/2013 12:45

Also Theo is really cute.

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JustFabulous · 05/01/2013 12:46

I just don't get why anyone thinks they have a right to negatively comment on, or name, another person's child.

I worked for someone who went through about 7 names before they settled on one as neighbours were passing comment.

When I announced my son's name my grandmother said oh, I thought you would name him MasterJF Hmm.

Your husband is being a prat. Tell him to stop arse licking his MIL and you are naming your baby Oliver James. He liked it before, agreed to it and that is a done deal unless you both are willing to rethink but then do not be influenced by anyone else.

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