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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he needs to grow the fuck up?

72 replies

VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:26

"D"P has just had a package delivered. Its a calander of p3 girls. Apparently him and all the lads at work "chipped in" for it, they apparently HAVE to have a "boob calander" (his actual words) up at work "for the lads"

These "lads" are all middle age men, my DP being the youngest at 29

I told him i thought it was sad and pathetic and that its like being with a schoolboy. He said if it upsets me then im the sad one and need to get a grip.

Im getting sick of this, he knows the name, surname and fucking bra size of every glamour girl out there. Its just sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:31

And the best bit "we're working men, thats what working men do"

Its law that working men have to stare at topless women all day!

OP posts:
bulletwithbutterflywings · 05/01/2013 10:34

Yuck. He sounds gross. I wouldn't want to be with someone like him Sad

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 05/01/2013 10:35

Wow that is pathetic! He's not 14 anymore!

2anddone · 05/01/2013 10:35

he sounds like a knob that needs to grow up!! I would get a nude man calendar and put it up in my kitchen or bedroom just to piss him off Wink

mrsstewpot · 05/01/2013 10:35

Totally unacceptable in the work place and offensive to any female employees as well.
My husband had to deal with one if his staff members reading a Nuts mag in the staff room recently- can't imagine any work environments allowing a topless calendar these days.

ErikNorseman · 05/01/2013 10:36

Yes he's a sad wanker alright.

pictish · 05/01/2013 10:36

What a bellend. Yanbu.

diddl · 05/01/2013 10:38

I´d leave him-sounds very immature.

Where does he work?

My husband wouldn´t be allowed one in his office even if he wanted one.

Softlysoftly · 05/01/2013 10:38

Can't abide men like that. But that's no doubt because I'm a jealous shrivelled old hag (every mans excuse forever)

Snorbs · 05/01/2013 10:39

That's grim.

Original poster
VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:45

He works in a factory

OP posts:
peanutMD · 05/01/2013 10:45

I used to clean an AC car showroom, all very respectable until you went into the staff room where the walls were pretty much wallpapered with pages from Nuts/FHM/Daily Star/Old calanders.

I felt uncomfortable cleaning in there myself never mind having to sit with men at breaks.

V.immature but unfortunately not rare amongst male work colleagues.

SpottyBagOfTumble · 05/01/2013 10:46

Yuck!

Gumby · 05/01/2013 10:48

Ha bet all your posters buy Heat & lust over torso of the week

OddBoots · 05/01/2013 10:51

Is he sure that he won't end up with a disciplinary at work if he brings that in? I can't see it being acceptable in any work place and the main responsibility will fall on whatever gullible numpty actually brings it onto site.

Original poster
VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:54

Apparently he's not immature, yeah im the immature one for being "threatened" by these women.

OP posts:
Numberlock · 05/01/2013 10:56

How long have you been with this misogynistic cunt - and why? Do you have children together, a daughter in particular?

Original poster
VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:56

Oddboots - they have one up all year round apparently. Nobody gives a shit there. About 90% of the workforce are men, the women either work upstairs in the office or in another part of the factory

OP posts:
ChaoticintheNewYear · 05/01/2013 10:56

Maybe immature, maybe not but definitely a sexist, misogynistic twat.

Original poster
VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:57

Numberlock - been together 5 years, have 2 boys.

OP posts:
Startail · 05/01/2013 11:01

Fine so long as you can plaster an appropriate wall in your house with skimpily dressed men. Carefully chosen to be taller, more muscular, more athletic, better looking etc than him.

Personally I don't mind pg. 3 in the paper and wouldn't feel bothered walking into a room with calendars like that.

But I've never felt any need to compete with other women on looks and am entirely happy with my little breasts.

Allowing such stuff in the work place is still wrong in this day and age.

Numberlock · 05/01/2013 11:03

So you've known presumably since you got together he's a misogynist. Does he also watch porn and go to lap dancing bars etc on lads nights out/stag do's? How is the child care and housework divided?

The main point is though what are you going to do about it?

Hanikam · 05/01/2013 11:06

Get a gay porn pin-up and hang it behind the toilet door. He'll get a shock when he sits down!

chris481 · 05/01/2013 11:26

I think this is a (relatively unimportant) example of irreconcilable differences between the interests of men and women. It will make men happier to have this calendar, and it will annoy women for them to have it.

I sympathise with the arguments against, to the extent I can force myself to care about what's on a wall I'll never see, and agree that current public opinion is, officially at least, on the side of women.

I think what's good for men and what's good for women are sometime just two different things, and who prevails is a question of power rather than morality. In this case, the current version of morality is a stick women can beat men with, if they are determined to prevail.

I vaguely recall a saying that all Utopias are totalitarian. Without checking, I wonder if this is because they must be a relentless implementation of one idea of a perfect world. In the real world, there are many different ideas of what constitutes a perfect world, so anyone who tries to improve their world risks making someone elses worse.

I may have overthought this whole issue...

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/01/2013 11:31

chris481
"It will make men happier to have this calendar,"

Good generaliation. Personally I wouldn't work anywhere that allowed this up on the wall.