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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think he needs to grow the fuck up?

72 replies

VitoCorleone · 05/01/2013 10:26

"D"P has just had a package delivered. Its a calander of p3 girls. Apparently him and all the lads at work "chipped in" for it, they apparently HAVE to have a "boob calander" (his actual words) up at work "for the lads"

These "lads" are all middle age men, my DP being the youngest at 29

I told him i thought it was sad and pathetic and that its like being with a schoolboy. He said if it upsets me then im the sad one and need to get a grip.

Im getting sick of this, he knows the name, surname and fucking bra size of every glamour girl out there. Its just sad.

OP posts:
TastesLikePanda · 05/01/2013 11:34

I have two calendars of naked and semi-naked rugby players atm, one was a present and one was bought by me.

However - I wouldn't dream of putting them on display at work, that would be inappropriate.

So I'm a sad wanker too, but at least I'm a proffessional one.

chris481 · 05/01/2013 11:41

Boney

Simplification and generalisation are often necessary when aiming for a brief and coherent argument.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/01/2013 11:45

chris481

It is lazy and reduces the worth of any arguement.

Snorbs · 05/01/2013 11:48

chris, I'm a man and I don't want to work somewhere that there would be nude or semi-nude pictures of men or women on the wall.

Does that make me "on the side of women", or does that make me someone who sees work as an environment where such displays are just inappropriate and crass?

If you want to look at pictures of naked men and/or women then fair enough. Do it in your own time. We are talking about a work environment, not your own home.

HullyEastergully · 05/01/2013 11:54

roll it up, shove it up his sorry sexist misogynist arse and find yourself a decent human being ffs

BigShinyBaubles · 05/01/2013 11:58

It wouldn't bother me at all if my oh had one at work.

Lilithmoon · 05/01/2013 12:01

This would seriously bother me and I certainly do not lust over 'torso of the week'.

redwellybluewelly · 05/01/2013 12:05

Years but not as many as you'd hope ago I worked in a highways depot. Those damn Boob calendars were on every desk and wall and the attitude to women in general wasn't as great as it could have been.

Fast forward to now when I went back and it was a totally different atmosphere. Maybe gone too far PC but those awful calendars had gone and an engineer was an engineer despite wether they were male or female.

Your DP need to grow up.

susanann · 05/01/2013 12:06

He doesnt sound great. Think I would get one of those hunky fireman calendars and put it in a prominent place. My exH used to look at women when we were driving along but he was so obvious about it. I told him I didnt like it but he still carried on. So I decided to give him a taste of his own medecine. We were stopped at some traffic lights one day and a young fit guy was walking along the pavement towards us. So I let out a loud "Phowarr" and followed this up by having a good look and turning round to see him from the back view when he had gone past. Cured my hubby! lol

Numberlock · 05/01/2013 12:11

Interesting coherent argument that encourages the debasing of women to keep men happy.

OP - is this the attitude you hope your sons will have towards women?

I wouldn't allow any such calendar in my work place - I'd have to check the staff handbook though to see if it was a disciplinary matter.

LittleWhiteWolf · 05/01/2013 12:13

Your DP needs to grow up for two reasons: one for believing its appropriate and funny to have a calendar up at work that objectifies women, and two for bowing to peer pressure from his co-workers to get the type of calendar they all apparently wanted.

To clarify you are not the sad one who needs to get a grip.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 05/01/2013 12:13

Eeewwww, just eeewwww a bunch of middle aged men (not your p) standing round slobbering over a half naked girl probably young enough to be their daughter.

Eeeewwwww.

hermioneweasley · 05/01/2013 15:01

Chris481, what an extraordinary attitude. I daresay that apartheid made white people happier and black people unhappier. What to do, eh? What a dilemma! It generally makes the people with privilege less happy when some of their privilege is taken away to restore the balance.

SorrelForbes · 05/01/2013 15:05

On top what everyone has said up thread, the bra sizes given will all be wrong, further perpetuating the notion that anything bigger than a D is 'fat' or 'plus size'.

Blistory · 05/01/2013 15:07

Why are you with him, OP, given that he has a very low opinion of women ? Don't you think his attitude shows a clear lack of respect for you ?

thebody · 05/01/2013 15:13

Gosh I actually think I have catapulted back to 1975.

Thought this sort if silly cramp wasn't actually allowed anymore.

Isn't there a union? This sounds old fashioned now and so so sad and pathetic.

ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla · 05/01/2013 15:15

My DH is a red blooded, heterosexual man. He likes women, he likes to look at attractive women. But he would never have a calendar like that up, at work or anywhere else.

In the same way, I like men and like to look at the attractive ones. But I don't have a calendar like that.

Some people obviously have the need to advertise their sexuality "Phwoar, I like girls, me." It's almost as though they are protesting too much. Grin

amck5700 · 05/01/2013 15:16

Can't say it really bothers me tbh

TheProvincialLady · 05/01/2013 15:19

Having a calendar at work is one thing. I don't like it but if my husband saw one at work I wouldn't insist he left his job (well, if he wasn't a teacher anyway...).

But. Your partner has memorised the 'details' of numerous glamour models. And yet you still have sex with him. How can you bear to? I just could not respect such a man.

MurderOfGoths · 05/01/2013 15:21

I want to know how pictures of topless women are "good" for men? Are there health benefits? Hmm

AngelWreakinHavoc · 05/01/2013 15:24

I dont see what all the fuss is about to be honest.
If a pic of boobs make their day go faster and they have something to talk about whilst working I see no problem at all.
I have to get metal work done for my work and when I take it to the factory or collect everyones work station has pics of boobs. I do not feel offended at all by seeing this.

TravelinColour · 05/01/2013 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong · 05/01/2013 15:28

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ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 15:29

I don't think this sort of thing has any place in a work environment. Where people's boundaries are in their private lives/relationships are their business.

Smudging · 05/01/2013 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.