Child went missing in 99p store

[PassionateaboutParenting]

My 2 year old son went missing in a 99p store on the High street in Leytonstone. I turned to pay for the items I bought and my son disappeared within those seconds.I called for my son and looked through the isles for him, my 6&4 year olds were with me. I asked the security guard to shut the door, he refused. Instead he told me that I should hold my child's hand.

The last thind I needed in my sheer panic at the thought of having lost my son was to be judged so harshly. None of the staff tried to assist me and just proceeded as usual, and it took another customer to search for my child and bring him to me.
People were awful either pretending not to notice or otherwise passing nasty remarks. I want to start a campaign to create a child safe scheme in my area. Has anyone else done this?
I have complained to the 99p store bit not sure if they will respond. Has anyone heard of the Code Adam in the USA?

Its so easily done !

I lost an 11 year old at a summer camp once. My group thought she was with someone else, everyone else thought we had her.

It was dark and we had been on a walk through the wooded bit. Ive never felt anything like that in my life. I would swear my heart stopped. ( I dont have children) Just the idea that she was lost or hurt somewhere was just awful. She was a "grown up" 11 year old too , sensible and nearly as big as me.

We found her and she was totally fine,she had joined someone elses group and walked back. I cried and threw myself on her and said she was never allowed out of my sight again ever ! I dont even remember having any thoughts in the 15 minutes that she was missing only that she was lost and i had to find her. Nothing else at all.

It wasnt til afterwards it even occurred to me i might be in for a bollocking for "losing" her. I didnt get one though, the staff could see i was a total mess, far more than any telling off would do. One of them did ask if i had been worried about her having fallen in the river running through the site. I must have gone even whiter after that (we had her back by then) because they suddenly backtracked saying "Well its alright now , dont worry we have her back. Dont worry its fine now see shes just fine !"

I dont know how it would feel when its your own child. Thank god everyone i worked with did not have the same attitude as fredandgeorge !

I think I've lost each of my 5 at least once. I haven't ever experienced what the OP describes though - I've always had people help me. I lost DD2 last Christmas in a really busy garden centre. She was 4 at the time. Stopped to look at biscuits and she just vanished. Ended up with several members of staff helping me look, and of course I couldn't remember what she was wearing. (and I remember getting lost as a child and a mad panic that I couldn't remember which coat my mum was wearing).

Found her in the coin operated rides by the front door, completely oblivious.

While I think about it, went into an electrical store with my mum, DD and adult DS2. Stopped to look at something then realised I couldn't see DS anywhere and said to mum I'd lost him, and immediately a member of staff nearby asked me how tall he was/ what he looked like and was prepared to start looking for him. He looked quite relieved when I said he was 22 .

I lost my son in a garden centre when he was 3 or just 4. He is disabled and uses a walking frame. I turned to take something of a shelf and he was gone. Zoootsch, nowhere.

Staff's reaction: 'If he's in a walking frame he can't be very fast'. Not seen my son scoot around then, he has no balance but fast legs.

They were generally totally useless. Thankfully it was a rainy day and the town's OAPs were out in force (the cafe is a popular meeting point). They organised themselves in seconds and started the hunt. They soon found him, he'd sneaked back into the cafe and pretended to be very relieved when he saw me. I just cried.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_Adam

Social scientists point out that the fear of child abduction is out of all proportion to its incidence: in particular they point to the long-term persistence of retail kidnapping narratives in urban legends to highlight how parents have been sensitized to this issue for generation

Holly I was an awful lot more worried about ds ending up under a car outside rather than kidnapped!

So glad he was found OP - and the staff should definitely have been more helpful.

Not sure why so many people are referring to Adam Walsh though - wasn't Jamie Bulger enough? That story terrified me at the time, and I vowed then and there to use reins or a wrist strap on any DC I might have. Kids are like Houdini, so for me reins/wrist strap is the only way my DC will be walking in public until they are very much older than toddler size.

Some people liken using reins/wrist straps to having a dog on a lead.... If it keeps my child from disappearing, risking harm or becoming the next big news story for all the wrong reasons then I don't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks. My child is as safe as I can make them in that situation - who cares what it looks like?

Sabriel LOL @ 'losing' 22yo.
Did they lend you step-ladders so that you could reach to smack his bum?

How awful, your heart just drops. Xmas eve in Asda and Ds age 4 wanted to look at cars, I was literally next to him and looked at a toy , turned to show Ds and he was gone! I nearly died, started shouting his name and a customer said is this him?, he'd not gone far, next aisle but it was in an instant so i know it can happen and the store should have been more prepared to help you.

AFAIK Bluewater in Kent does the wristband system.

Hugs, DD1 went everywhere on reins. She just gave me too many heart stopping moments.

It was her mission in life to vanish.

She's 14, she is still a nightmare to go shopping with. She lives in her own world and totally forgets to keep an eye on whoever she us with.

She also forgets to turn on her phone

I can't believe some peope are so awful OP.....of course you should begin a campaign....I would support you.

My nephew went missing from my Mums house when he was 3 and he had wandered out of her estate and into the main road of the village by passing throguh hedges and gardens.

It was only because the village is small and tight knit that someone spotted him and said "Oh it's X all on his own!"

We in the meantime were running around my Mums estate....the person fetched my DN to his Mothers house.

It's people helping that saves kids.

I would support a campaign too and I really think you should go to the press about this. The store behaved so atrociously it beggars belief.

lovelylaydee I assume your name is ironic

I drop everything (except my children) to help a parent find a lost child or a child find a missing parent, it's even happened at school pick ups when the playground's in chaos.

If I take my boys on trips on my own I drill them to look for a security guard or policeman if they lose me and I put a piece of paper with my mobile no. in their pockets.

dp worries that people will get the wrong idea if he approaches lost children

That's awful that people ignored or judged you instead of helping. I would have helped you look. Any decent person would.

Im glad everything was ok op. It must have been terrifying.

A family friend was in Adams once with her baby in a pram. She stopped to look through some baby clothes and when she turned back the pram was gone. She screamed and cried that someone had taken her baby.
Thank God an astute security guard had noticed a woman leaving the shop with a pram in a hurry so he ran out of the shop and down the street after her. Managed to catch up with her, reunited the baby with the mum and waited with the evil bitch til the police turned up.
I guess that's more about the kind of person employed as a security guard rather than store policy.
Shame the security guard op had to contend with was just a shitty person.

I'd have helped you look too and would also support a campaign.

I'm shocked at some of the comments on here from a certain few posters about inattention and what did you think would happen and so on! It's not like you were miles away from him or neglectful FFS. You were right there with him and, even with the best will in the world, children sometimes take it into their heads to wander off. There should be established processes in place for when this happens such as doors being closed, staff helping search, security checking live CCTV feeds for a sighting of the child (who could then radio other staff to tell them where), etc.

I lost DS at Butlins last summer when he was two and a half. My dad took him closer to the Pavillion stage when Barney was on, DS got excited and gave my dad the slip, dashing into a nearby crowd and disappearing. The staff were brilliant, they stationed people at the exits, radio'd security, and then started doing sweeps of the whole Pavillion until he was found (after the longest ten minutes of my life he was found in the arcade climbing on one of those stationary motorbikes). We do have a little backpack set of reins for him but he didn't have them on because we were seated, indoors, watching a show so even when you do use reins it's still possible for them to vanish.

Glad you found your DS, I hope you make a complaint about the security guard, and you thoroughly deserve a large drink!

I remember when I was five or six, I was out with my father and I stopped to look at something. He didn't realize because he was trying t keep an eye on my younger sister who was the one more likely to toddle off. It literally couldn't have been more than 20 seconds before this huge bloke bent down, asked if I'd lost my parents, told me he was their "friend" then grabbed my hand and led me outside. He was stopped by a security guard and then my father turned up in a sheer panic screaming my name.

I've never left the house without reins for my little one. I had nightmares for weeks about the "bad man" taking me away.

I lost DS (21months) in M&S last week and didn't even know it until some lady brought him in from outside and started asking round the cafe if anyone had lost a child I only took my eye off him for a minute while I got his pushchair out again and thought he was stood looking out of the window. Clearly he wanted a better look

The National Trust are very good with this. My friend's son (6) wandered off from the cafe while we were queueing and I was chatting to her. We went looking for him and she told the reception and they radioed out to the rangers, one of whom spotted him, so he was reunited with my friend. I assume they have that system at all NT places.

Oh and I lost him at a baby cafe when he wandered off an joined a private party.... That one really confused me as the exit was secure so couldn't figure out where he had bolted to.

DH knows none of this.....

I lost DS (19mo) in a local cafe/play area recently. I was there with my 2 DCs, my friend and her 2 DCs. I had gone to the till (which was in a different room) to order our food and my friend was with the 4 children in the play area. Her youngest (2yo) fell and split her lip and, in the commotion, DS got through the closed door or the play area and was headed out towards the exit. My friend and a couple of staff were obviously attending to her DD and I had my back to all this as I was in a completely different room ordering, and paying for, our food. When I got back to the play area, I immediately realised that DS was missing and went looking for him - I sent my older DC into the play area to look for him and I searched the rest of the place. He was finally found by a member of staff heading towards the carpark door! I shudder to think what could've happened...

We were in a child friendly place, where reins wouldn't be used and this wasn't anyone's fault - my friend was tending to her DD who had really hurt herself and I was in another room completely unaware. I know I would have done the same as my friend in the same situation.

Sometimes the unexpected happens, surely it is human compassion to help a frantic mum search for her child?

jazzy,no wonder you had nightmare.how terrifying in such short time

Poor you this has happened to me several times, first time dd was about 2 and legged it into woolies from superdrug, I followed but she had vanished by the time I had caught up. Ds1 got lost in Harrods food hall of all places and ds2 at the local funfair/community day.

It's a terrible feeling, always remember the look of pure panic on a guy's face at seaworld in florida, he was huge and striding down one of the parks packed walkways bellowing a name, thankfully we had seen a lost child being comforted by a family a few meters back. Must be really terrifying to lose them in such a crowded place.

I once lost DD in a very fashionable, very dark teen shop (she was 7) when we were looking for a present for someone. I thought she was with my Mum, who thought she was with me. Time literally does stop when that happens...I just remember running madly around the shop screaming her name, with all the trendy teens sneering at me like I was some crazy middle-ager on drugs. The staff were pretty crap, just muttering, 'no, ain't seen er' at me. Eventually 10 years minutes later I found her, she'd gone downstairs, something she KNOWS not to do if she gets lost. Luckily she had approached a member of staff who had waited for her.

It was bloody scary, and she was 7. I dont know anyone who wouldn't identify with that panic and worry if they were a parent, and I think THAT is what leads us to expect help. Same way I'd be unable to ignore someone having a Heart attack or passing out in a store or in the street. It's a basic level of compassion for one another as Human beings that we feel and assume that all others feel. And it's that which shocks us if we realise it's absence, because we can't comprehend feeling that lack of care towards others...not some overindulgent sense of entitlement.