Child went missing in 99p store

[PassionateaboutParenting]

My 2 year old son went missing in a 99p store on the High street in Leytonstone. I turned to pay for the items I bought and my son disappeared within those seconds.I called for my son and looked through the isles for him, my 6&4 year olds were with me. I asked the security guard to shut the door, he refused. Instead he told me that I should hold my child's hand.

The last thind I needed in my sheer panic at the thought of having lost my son was to be judged so harshly. None of the staff tried to assist me and just proceeded as usual, and it took another customer to search for my child and bring him to me.
People were awful either pretending not to notice or otherwise passing nasty remarks. I want to start a campaign to create a child safe scheme in my area. Has anyone else done this?
I have complained to the 99p store bit not sure if they will respond. Has anyone heard of the Code Adam in the USA?

Glad DC was found OP. I've just said to DH that when DS is older, I want him on reins. I can't imagine how you felt!

I had my DD go missing twice, it felt like my heart had stopped twice.

Also, Kids are smart, my older brother, before i was born, had scaled the 6 foot garden wall with his little car and was gone. If they want to go, they bloody will.

I lost my dd1 in ikea once. Told the staff, a call went out which we heard "code 100 lighting" and she was found in minutes by the many staff who turned up. She was with dh when staff found her, they asked me to identify both dd1 and dh before I could talk to them. I'm overwhelmingly greatful to them, it was so professional and urgent. She'd seen some pretty lights she liked and toddled off to look (she was 4). Now she's 12 she still sticks with me, especially in ikea!!

I work in a shop, a two floored home wears shop to be exact and on three occasions I have had children come to me asking where there mummy is. I have always found mummy, however I would never ever judge anyone who's child had wondered off.

There was one occasion where a newly parented couple had 'forgot' their pram. Que frantic parents and me saying are you looking for this > points to pram. Pram never left my sight and I put a middle aged couple I was serving in their place . Thank you mumsnet--

DD was fine- it was a febrile seizure, I had no idea about them (google it as it's worth knowing about them if you don't already) and I genuinely thought dd was dying. It was like being in a bad dream, don't know whats wrong with my baby and people are just not helping. If I were religous I would think it was a bit of divine intervention but a woman walked in while I was shrieking from outside who was a first responder and helped me and finally a guy on the other side o the place decided to call the emergency services for us.

As it turns out we didn't pay the bill... got a bit confused when the ambulence finally tunred up and we had to go to hospital. Didn't go back to pay or to eat there ever again after the way the staff treated us though.

commander I don't think I could have been polite to that customer in those circumstances really! It certainly would have meant somethign to the customer you helped though

My mum left my baby brother in his pram outside a shop and went home with out him!

This was the 70s and people left babies outside shops it seems. Just theybusually remembered to collect them.

Don't worry OP, many of us have had close shaves. Easily done.

Shocking booyhoo I think she would be very concerned if someone had walked off Wth her child

When DS was around three I lost him in asda. He was right next to me and then a split second later he had vanished, I ran down the isle shouting his name and a member of staff heard me and came over all I said was "I can't find my son" and she shouted over to another member of staff on a till who, while in the middle of serving somebody jumped up and ran off.
Immediately they were anouncing a code whatever and a lot of the staff stopped what they were doing and ran to the CS desk, they asked for a description and all went off like they knew exactly what they had to do,, within minutes they were sending messages over the tannoy alerting costumers that a child was missing, they had staff blocking exists and searching the toilets and they had split up into teams to do an isle by isle 'sweep' of the store.
I was frantic but they were absoloutly fantastic and DS was found after about 20 minutes sitting under a shelf in the electrical area watching finding nemo on 15 tvs, he had actually pushed some products across to make himself a little seat on the bottom shelf!
I was so impressed with the staff and so thankful to them.

I don't understand why all stores don't have specific measures set out to deal with a lost child in the store.

I lost Ds2 in M&S when he was younger. He's autistic and at the time was non-verbal. I have never been so terrified in my life. Security were bloody brilliant, the shop security put a call out and the shopping centre security guys all rushed in to the store too. He was found hanging out near the checkout in the food court.

I lost ds5 twice in one day embarrassingly a couple of weeks ago. First time in Boots and one of the ladies was retracing his steps and we rushed back and found him. Then in Asda and a shopper took him to customer services who put a call out for me. No judgment from anyone and not
Would I ever judge a mum who had lost their child, a momentary glance away and they can be gone so quickly.

I'm a mother of four, pretty attentive by anyone's standards, and also trained to keep an eye on 30 children at a time (teacher). I also have been known to use reins for toddlers and so on. However even I have managed to have small people slip away from my grasp in shops. I would even go further and say that it is nigh on impossible to keep them by your side at all times for the entire duration of parenthood, as they appear to be hard wired to explore, choosing the exact moment when you are preoccupied lifting something off a shelf or whatever to make their escape. And shops are designed to be eye catching and busy places, which makes the shepherding problem more pronounced.

Given that this is a problem for the entire population, and that we have all probably been separated from our parents in this way in shops during childhood, can I suggest we all work together to make sure that we round up lost children, instead of treating it as a parenting defect or a shoplifting tactic?

It just goes to show how rough Leytonstone is if the 99p shop has a security guard. Who is there, by the way, to stop people stealing armfuls of stuff, not to find lost children. That isn't part of his remit. But minding your children is your job, no-one else's. So YABVU.

Actually security guards are often employed for several reasons. One to provide a "presence" do people don't choose to shoplift. And two to help in case of emergency.

It might not be part of his remit as a security guard (although is part of his job not to keep shoppers safe?) but surely its in his remit as a human?

Mine has run several times, been lost four times.

I use a wrist strap now, and will continue to until I know she won't run. The panic never hits until you see them, the whole time you are running (and I'm disabled and struggle to walk) calling their name, asking faces if they've seen a little girl. And that moment you see them, it's like waves breaking on the shore, every single emotion you held back just comes out.

She's on watch at school as a hider. She'll creep into the bushes and ignore her name being called. She'll also run off if you upset her. I was known to leave the school premises as a little one if I was upset, so I wouldn't put it past her.

I have had the police involved once in the town centre. They both bolted in the shop, one four year old on purpose, and the six year old trying to help. Except the four year old ran out the shop and I was at the entrance waiting. Grabbed at her, then heard the panicked screaming of my six year old and turned to call his name, and she was gone. Had to get him and call 999 as she has no danger awareness and this time I really couldn't run. She just thought the whole thing was a jolly jape, and no one around her stepped in, they could have saved the police a whole lot of trouble.

Then the time she got out the house in the night, to go on a jaunt, she managed to circumnavigate two locks to get out, and one turned door handle that was above her high. She was brought back by the police after knocking on a neighbour's door. I don't know if I have recovered from the shock months later. I thought it was her, playing the lets knock and see mummy go answer the door game, went in her room and the bed was empty. Little toerag thinks I, look in boys room and bathroom - nothing - start to panic as door knocks. Rush though front room all lit up and kitchen to the door, I'm crying now typing it, so I guess you can see, that they are precious and a wrist strap can be a life save. And some of them need alarms, extra locks, hidden keys, and a wrist strap, and still manage to scare the life out of you.

I am actually scared to leave the house alone with her. She's four and a half.

What a surprise lovelyladutree making yet another rude and I'll thought out comment. Pretty sure a security guard isnt just there to stop thieves.

Think the flaming/stalking of other posts/name calling and abuse directed at fredfredgeorge is somewhat OTT/unnecessary but it's an emotive topic and the shop absolutely should have helped you, Passionate. 77,000 missing children a year in the UK sounds like an awful lot - where did you get that figure?

I thought Adam West was Batman's real name - off to google...

Evening all
Sorry about your fright OP, it happened to me with my DS in a carpark. it's horrific.
Remember folks AIBU is not fight club. Just saying.

Although the example Flow gave is an urban legend, the reason Asda as well as other big shops in the states implemented "Code Adam" isn't actually because kids frequently get lost in shops. It's because (like in the case of Adam Walsh ) busy shops are an easy environment for a kidnapper to snatch a child and escape undetected. The fact that the security guard and other shoppers were unconcerned (because, after all, who hasn't lost a child at some point) is why they brought the program into effect. Because there's a chance that a parent hasn't just "been inattentive", but some bastard has snatched the child!

Perhaps it isn't officially in the security guard's remit, but if the OP's child had been snatched, I wouldn't fancy his chances at keeping his job.

Have googled Code Adam as so that is why Asda are so good in situations like these-Asda owned by Wal-Mart where Adam West went missing from (involving another security guard!)

if this happens at my work we don't close the store but there will be a member of staff on every door and tannoy calls go out immeadiately telling both staff and customers that there is a lost child in store

quite often they are then reunited with the parent and the parent yells at them for running off

It just goes to show how rough Leytonstone is if the 99p shop has a security guard.

I'll have you know my DM lives in a vary naice town and the Primark there has a security guard. Just saying, dear.

Adam West = Batman

Adam Walsh= Code Adam.

Ryledup my thoughts exactly. Shops have a moral responsibility. Lovelylaydee you wuld not be sriuting such rubbish if that was your child going missing, you would want everyone to do all that tey could to find them. Never say it could never happen to ŷou because I could