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Child went missing in 99p store

248 replies

PassionateaboutParenting · 04/01/2013 18:01

My 2 year old son went missing in a 99p store on the High street in Leytonstone. I turned to pay for the items I bought and my son disappeared within those seconds.I called for my son and looked through the isles for him, my 6&4 year olds were with me. I asked the security guard to shut the door, he refused. Instead he told me that I should hold my child's hand.

The last thind I needed in my sheer panic at the thought of having lost my son was to be judged so harshly. None of the staff tried to assist me and just proceeded as usual, and it took another customer to search for my child and bring him to me.
People were awful either pretending not to notice or otherwise passing nasty remarks. I want to start a campaign to create a child safe scheme in my area. Has anyone else done this?
I have complained to the 99p store bit not sure if they will respond. Has anyone heard of the Code Adam in the USA?

OP posts:
RafflesWay · 04/01/2013 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

socharlotte · 04/01/2013 21:20

Naice towns don't have a Primark! Grin

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 04/01/2013 21:22

was the store in a shopping centre or on a high street?

when I worked in security in a shopping centre I put a lost child procedure in place that is now used in many centres, it is of course the parents responsibility but children can wander off, and the security officer should have at least stood by the door and not let any children matching your child's description walk out. it is in retail officers training. in Scotland anyway.

YuleBritannia · 04/01/2013 21:25

I've never lost one of my DCs but I do remember being in a Homebase and a child of about don't know really 3 or 4 came towards me in an aisle calling, "Mummy, Mummy!" I asked her if she were lost and she just said that she was looking for her mummy. I took her hand, saying something like,"Let's go and find someone to help." I was walking toward Customer Services when a woman touched me on the shoulder .........

I don't think she thought it really but she could have thought that I was walking out of the shop with her daughter. I'd do it again though.

lifeintheolddogyet · 04/01/2013 21:27
Grin

This naice town has one, small, pedestrian precinct.

pixwix · 04/01/2013 21:29

Bloody hell - it happened to me once Blush I was the queen of reins, distraction, engaging children in shopping, hand holding etc. Then one day, I popped into a toy shop, let go of ds1's hand to look at a toy, got reading the blurb on the back, thought ds1 was with me - looked up, and he wasn't!

I was just about to go "ARRGHHHH! HELP!" when this security guard appeared. It was a shop in a shopping mall, and in the few seconds I took my eyes off ds1 (then 2) he picked up a skateboard from a shelf, and hoofed it off down the mall, perched aboard on his bottom, pushing madly!!

The lovely security guard had ds1 tucked under one arm, and the skateboard under another.. I was beside myself, but the security guard was fine!

It only happened once - he's 15 now, and 5ft 10 - but I still shudder.....

edam · 04/01/2013 21:31

yellow, every parent can identify with that heart-stopping moment when you turn round and your child isn't there (or, if you are very lucky, you think they aren't there but they are. after all). Everyone apart from the amazingly arrogant who have yet to learn that children throw curveballs and there are no such things as perfect parents, that is. And they will learn, eventually.

It is the duty of every decent person to help people in trouble, especially the really vulnerable such as children. (You don't even have to be decent, even barely adequate human beings know full well you should help children who at risk or in danger.)

I'm glad you are complaining to the shop - they really need to think about their attitude here, before something goes badly wrong. DO contact your local paper and your PCSO.

Hope you've had plenty of hot sweet tea and calmed down now. Smile

SoupDragon · 04/01/2013 21:33

Nice to see Soup that you feel policies come before missing children!

WTF are you wittering on about?

FlibberdeGibbet · 04/01/2013 21:38

I lost DD (3) at a Centreparcs in Holland once. The staff were brill; locked down the whole site, which must have caused chaos, as it was Saturday changeover day. She was found after about half an hour, brought back by a lovely Dutch teenage boy who had found her happily playing in a playground about 10 mins walk from where we had lost her.

Horrible feeling, especially as there was a huge lake outside, and I was convinced she had fallen in.

edam · 04/01/2013 21:38

Fanfuckingtastic, I once had the pleasure of going to the theatre with a bolter (my niece's friend). My sister mentioned in a slightly scared way that when they collected the little girl, the parents had said she tended to run off... blimey, I have never seen such a talented escape artist. There were three adults and three children and bloody hell, we were lucky not to lose her. Even when two of us took them to the loo, my niece (who caught on and thought it was hilarious to join in) and her friend managed to wriggle under the cubicles and slip past the TWO supervising adults (I swear that child is half-octopus, she could not possibly have squeezed past me. Only she did.)

I was exhausted after only a couple of hours in her company with two other adults, goodness only knows how you feel - I bow down to you!

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 04/01/2013 21:39

can I also add to people saying it's not in the security guards remit, first role is to deter theft, then General health and safety procedures. but in retail security even if you are monitoring a shop lifter a lost child becomes top priority.

I have been on both sides and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

can I just say, I wasn't saying it was ops fault, just that obviously you try to keep them safe but children leg it all the time.

edam · 04/01/2013 21:40

(oops just realised my first post started with 'yellow' when it should have been addressed to passionate, the OP. As you were.)

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 04/01/2013 21:41

Cool.

notengodinero · 04/01/2013 21:43

How completely horrible for you OP. I would have been STEAMING at the security guard! Even letting go of your childs hand for a second to get your wallet out can be enough time for the little buggers to wander off and nearly cause you a heart attack.

I lost DS at an event in a really busy park once and it was terrifying. Luckily the security guard there was trained to deal with this type of this rather than being a judgemental fuckwit.

BTW, DH got a book for Xmas called Shit London. It's full of photos of, well, shit things in London. The Leytonstone 99p store is in there, I kid you not! Grin

notengodinero · 04/01/2013 21:45

PS I love my (not too far away from Leytonstone) 99p store, it;s the only place I can plain bitesized Wheetabix for DS, in case anyone thinks I'm being mean and snobby...

edam · 04/01/2013 21:47

seriously, noteng, the Leytonstone 99p store is officially in the Crap London book? Grin Obviously a richly-deserved brickbat!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 04/01/2013 21:48

We have a child safe scheme in the St David's 2 shopping centre in Cardiff. I think it's a wristband but as it's run by the shopping centre, I think the shops are all on board. We've not used it as DD is pretty compliant and we only have one DC so a bit easier to keep sight of.

Bournemouth beach also have coloured zones with matching wristbands so at least they know the area of the beach the parents are sat.

Maybe starting with the shopping centre or council might be a starting point to getting a scheme up and running. Obviously parents need somewhere to get a wristband from (the lifeguard stations on Bournemouth beach and the info desk in the shopping centre). But I expect the shops do work together for passing on shoplifter info, so they might well be happy to pass on missing child info amongst each other too.

iago · 04/01/2013 21:52

Keep the little buggers - 2 to 3 on a lead. It's what dog owners are told. And I speak as one who experienced the blind panic of a toddler who disappeared in a supermarket for 15 mins.

Fakebook · 04/01/2013 21:58

That must have been terrifying OP. I lost dd in tesco when I was 9 months pregnant with DS and couldn't run. All the workers in the shop floor were looking for her and talking to one another through their headpiece and they finally found her in the toiletries section. The employees in the 99p shop sound shit.

I'm surprised something like Code Adam wasn't initiated here after James bulger.

Cathycomehome · 04/01/2013 21:58

I lost my ds1 at Oxford train station when he was four. I'd been to Birmingham having been offered a job there and taken son to see new school. At the barrier, I looked down to look for the ticket in my purse and let go his hand for literally a minute. Looked up, he was gone. I thought he was teasing around, so called out for him jokingly. No response, GONE.

To cut a long story short, he was reclaimed after 30 minutes! By which time, station staff had searched, passengers been questioned as to whether they'd seen a small blond boy, police called by station staff.

Just as the police officer was asking me "what is your son wearing?", a distraught young Australian woman arrived with my ds1 sobbing in tow.

She and I had waist length blonde hair and the same distinctive red and white coat. He had followed her, not me, and got as far as the traffic lights by the opium den (not far from station but a few minutes walk) when she stopped for the lights.

She looked down, he looked up and wailed "You're not my mummy!"

Thank God she had the prescence of mind to ask him "Where is Mummy? And what's your name?" And brought him back.

Reader, I kissed her. ( and if you're reading eight years later gap year girl, thank you so much!) .

So I sympathise, op, and ds2, as soon as he can walk, will have reins....

iago · 04/01/2013 21:58

Sorry, I meant aged 2 to 3 - didn't assume you had a whole flock of them!

tigerdriverII · 04/01/2013 22:00

Reins

Abra1d · 04/01/2013 22:05

Cathycomehome I know that part of Oxford well! That is quite a way for him to go. Thank goodness that girl was a decent human being!

WillowFae · 04/01/2013 22:07

I lost DS for a few minutes in a local park when he was 3. It was horrific and lots of mums immediately jumped into action and started searching for him. Never been so happy to see anyone as I was when we found him.

Kalisi · 04/01/2013 22:09

In several places that I have worked, the role of dealing with lost children has actually been specifically designated to Security Guards. Seeing as their responsibilities include the safety of the public and all that, I'd say that makes quite a lot of sense.
Tbh this is quite irrelevant though, I really can't grasp the argument that it is not 'somebodys place' to help when a situation involves potential danger to a CHILD. The issue is not that he didn't immediately move mountains to help, it was the overall dismissive attitude. Any decent human being should do what they can to help somebody in clear distress. You can always judge their parenting afterwards if you bloody insist.