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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset by this behaviour by "friend" at office party?

89 replies

reddaisy · 04/01/2013 13:37

I got really drunk at the office party and I was sick. In the toilet of the venue. Without my knowledge a male colleague came in and took a photo of me and then showed everyone as I continued to be sick and wait for my DH to arrive to collect me. Another colleague was with me looking after me.

I have only just found out that this photo has done the rounds at work - not via email - and I am so upset. Obviously the incident was embarassing and I have taken the mick taking on the chin as that is to be expected but I think this goes over the line.

AIBU or should I attempt to laugh it off even though I find it outrageous.

OP posts:
WaspFactory · 04/01/2013 13:40

Oh god, how mortifying. If it was me I think I would just laugh it off while dying inside. He'll get his comeuppance if that's the way he generally behaves.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 04/01/2013 13:42

If you were really drunk how do you know a 'male' colleague took it? Could have easily been one of the girls who has passed it onto him who hasn't the bottle to admit it. Anyhoo, that's irrelevant. What they have done is quite nasty. But, it is often the sort of behaviour that goes with very boozy office parties.

I'd laugh it off if I were you and put it down to experience.

shaketheshame · 04/01/2013 13:44

oh poor you Sad...can't that guy be stopped showing it around ?

Original poster
reddaisy · 04/01/2013 13:46

Because once one person told me about it, everyone confirmed it and it the photo was on his phone.

OP posts:
Fakebook · 04/01/2013 13:47

Who the hell gets that drunk at an office party? Let this be a lesson and don't use office parties as an opportunity to get shit faced in the future. ( you'd think people would learn in adult hood what is inappropriate....obviously not for some people Hmm)

HollyBerryBush · 04/01/2013 13:48

It is bullying

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 04/01/2013 13:48

Forgot to add, the guy is an idiot for going into the ladies too and invading the privacy of all women for doing so.

HollyBerryBush · 04/01/2013 13:48

PS - next time - shut the loo door before you hoy your guts up

Pandemoniaa · 04/01/2013 13:49

It's a nasty, childish thing to do but it's just one reason why getting hogwhimperingly drunk at office parties is never a good thing to do. Unfortunately, there's often someone on hand who thinks that taking "candid" pictures is an amusing diversion for everyone else.

taypottick · 04/01/2013 13:50

I don't understand why anyone would find it funny seeing a photograph of someone being sick. Still think you need to pretend you are okay about it though (and seek revenge.)

TheMonster · 04/01/2013 13:50

How very immature of him.

Nancy66 · 04/01/2013 13:51

I would speak to him. Say you drank too much and only have yourself to blame but you would appreciate it if he deletes the picture - and watch while he does it.

taypottick · 04/01/2013 13:51

Going into ladies loo-now that should be reprimanded at work I would have thought.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 04/01/2013 13:51

How strange! Do you work with a bunch of teenagers? Why would people think thats funny?

HollyBerryBush · 04/01/2013 13:51

That sort of thing can be very damaging - it gets circulated - even when you change jobs you can guarantee that somoeone knows someone else and the photo gets passed on - very professionally damaging

Original poster
reddaisy · 04/01/2013 13:51

Thank you Fakebook. I have most certainly learnt my lesson and I am practically tee-total the rest of the time and just had a couple too many before the food arrived and after two years of no drinking it hit me big time. I thought I could expect an element of privacy in the women's toilets though.

OP posts:
toobreathless · 04/01/2013 13:51

It's a mean thing to do. But you shouldn't have got so drunk.

I would ignore it & not drink so much on future.

sue52 · 04/01/2013 13:52

It's not good to get drunk at a work do but your collegue was way out of line. Is there a sympathetic line manager who could give this man a good talking to? I think it's bullying too.

Original poster
reddaisy · 04/01/2013 13:52

Puds - That is what I said when I heard. My RL friends have been very sympathetic about me getting so drunk because it is so out of character but my colleagues thought it would be best to humiliate me. Cheers.

OP posts:
cinnamonnut · 04/01/2013 13:53

What a knob

Gumby · 04/01/2013 13:53

It's office bullying
I'd get the manager to demand he deletes it

Booyhoo · 04/01/2013 13:53

im a curious as to how a man got into the ladies' and close enough to get a clear picture of you vomitting without either you or your friend being aware. how big are the cubicles? surely your friend would have being blocking any view of you?

Original poster
reddaisy · 04/01/2013 13:54

Our management are not great at tackling issues like this. I have been told the photo has been deleted but who knows?! I considered this guy to be a friend which has hurt my feelings as well.

OP posts:
DeafLeopard · 04/01/2013 13:54

Agree with gumby - that is bullying behaviour.

Booyhoo · 04/01/2013 13:56

best way to deal with it (if management is shit) is to pretend it doesn't bother you and he'll get bored of getting no reation out of you and hopefully delete it.