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AIBU?

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To be a traditional sahm ??

865 replies

ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 22:16

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

OP posts:
janey68 · 05/01/2013 23:08

. Grin

catgirl1976geesealaying · 05/01/2013 23:16

If SAH is prostitution, I am paying DH waaaay too much. He does feck all around the house and if I work out the cost per shag I bet I could swap a years worth for one go on Eric northman....

sunshine401 · 05/01/2013 23:18

maybe if you got off your arse and into the real world you'd be able to hold a discussion

no bitchiness there is there Hmm

Do not take it to heart any SAHM it is really is not worth it. :)

chandellina · 05/01/2013 23:29

Wohms might qualify as slaves and prostitutes as well. Most of us are subsidised by higher earners.

AnnieLobeseder · 05/01/2013 23:32

Chandellina - especially those women who work the same hours as their OH and are still expected to do all the domestic work and childcare!

chandellina · 05/01/2013 23:34

Women get the short end of the stick, fact.

allnewtaketwo · 06/01/2013 14:13

So if the woman is the higher earner does the husband qualify as a prostitute?

AnnieLobeseder · 06/01/2013 14:16

I think he would be a gigolo.

catgirl1976geesealaying · 06/01/2013 15:01

I must inform DH of his new title Grin

InNeedOfBrandy · 06/01/2013 15:03

God the wine went to my head last night Blush

Lavenderhoney · 06/01/2013 15:21

Not entirely sure what the point is op. Just to say your dc are growing up and it be beneficial to them to know how to work the washing machine/ cook a meal/ see you have your own interests and them come second for once.

I assume you have interesting outside interests and hobbies that don't involve your dc and you and your dh can chat about or do together as you might feel a bit lonely when they push off to uni or traveling or whatever and don't want to spend summer hols with you or Christmas for that matter. They might have other

I hope mine do, I fancy a bit of back packing when mine go and they will have to be able to look after themselves. I don't want them panicking because the ironing fairy has gone walkabout. Me and dh talk about our big trip a lot:)

Lavenderhoney · 06/01/2013 15:22

Other plans!!

Avuncular · 07/01/2013 18:31

Well .... if that was only a bunfight, what does a catfight look like ??

Chinsupmeloves · 27/02/2026 22:58

By traditional, the term is generally in conjunction with housework being gruelling; hard labour, wash and mangle, much more so before electricity and one stove to boil water for cooking, cleaning and hygiene.

To state to be a 'traditional' HW/SAHP now with modern appliances, a car, online etc is insulting. Just say you're a HW/sahm, no need to embellish unless you're doing chores like in the 1920s and at risk of being beaten because dinner wasn't ideal.

Also in those times many Mums did go out to work and if widowed were a single parent with no help. My dear GM raised 3 DC and worked when DH came home from the coal mines, ensured everything was done at home and spent her evenings cleaning. When GF passed and children at school she had several jobs including sewing, cleaning, took in and cooked for lodgers to make ends meet.

You've chosen your way in life, have your DC and a loving partner, that's wonderful, but honestly everyone is so busy with their own lives to care about judging so why do you?

It doesn't matter to me amongst my friends who does what, I'm friends because I like them.

I guess we all have our own concerns about what others think but it does help when you get older.

I realise I've been vocal about the reference to tradition, that's because I do feel passionately about it. A traditional housewife in modern society isn't the same as in the days it was normal, expected and enforced, a time women had limited other choice and no legislative support for domestic abuse.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 01/03/2026 04:42

Chinsupmeloves · 27/02/2026 22:58

By traditional, the term is generally in conjunction with housework being gruelling; hard labour, wash and mangle, much more so before electricity and one stove to boil water for cooking, cleaning and hygiene.

To state to be a 'traditional' HW/SAHP now with modern appliances, a car, online etc is insulting. Just say you're a HW/sahm, no need to embellish unless you're doing chores like in the 1920s and at risk of being beaten because dinner wasn't ideal.

Also in those times many Mums did go out to work and if widowed were a single parent with no help. My dear GM raised 3 DC and worked when DH came home from the coal mines, ensured everything was done at home and spent her evenings cleaning. When GF passed and children at school she had several jobs including sewing, cleaning, took in and cooked for lodgers to make ends meet.

You've chosen your way in life, have your DC and a loving partner, that's wonderful, but honestly everyone is so busy with their own lives to care about judging so why do you?

It doesn't matter to me amongst my friends who does what, I'm friends because I like them.

I guess we all have our own concerns about what others think but it does help when you get older.

I realise I've been vocal about the reference to tradition, that's because I do feel passionately about it. A traditional housewife in modern society isn't the same as in the days it was normal, expected and enforced, a time women had limited other choice and no legislative support for domestic abuse.

Why are you waking up ancient threads?

Funnily enough, I posted in defence of chores and my then tiny child with chores has grown up self assured happy and effective. Nice to be right.

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