To be a traditional sahm ??

[ProudMum4Eva]

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

I am a good all rounder I have passing interest in many things
do i consistently post on housewife threads. hell yes. do keep up
thing about consistent opinion is one expresses them consistently

Avuncular: "I have sometimes reflected that being a busy mum is one of the best preparations for management that there is, if you and potential employers can see the skills as "transferable" if/when the time comes!

[Screaming child or sulky staff? Plans, deadlines, budgets, disasters, overtime]"

No, I don't really think so. It is nothing like working in senior management in a corporation where you need technical knowledge, general knowledge of the business and area of discipline, strategic nous, combined with people (adults) management, motivational, project/change management skills, all done to objective standards and targets.

It is somewhat reductionist twee to say that a busy mum would have these skills. Maybe if they were running a flower shop or a market stall?

I "popped in" to share my disbelief as I still don't understand the OP. There is no AIBU question in it for one thing!

OP says she's happy. Good for her. What else is there to say?

VivienneMary, as I said previously, I am a SAHM but not a housewife. DH and I share all domestic chores 50-50, save those that naturally require doing in the course of a day at home (light washing-up, tidying, etc.). We agree that my job is mothering Ds whilst DH is at work a d then eerything is shared upon his return. Doing all or the majority of the housework is not an inevitable part of being a SAHM.

ScottishMummy, I have a PhD from Oxford. Does this make me being a SAHM acceptable under your rules? I don't need exterior things to make me feel whole, feel like 'me',or to make me feel good about myself. Getting those things from working is just as rubbish as getting them from being a super-trad housewife and mother.

I am a SAHM because I am a Feminist, btw. Because feminine skills and talents (note: these can be inherent in and undertaken by men) need to be respected and seen as equal, valid and worthy. Denigrating women who do not work for however long whilst parenting is anti-Feminist and holds back true equality in society, because it's feeding into androcentric bullshit about what equals worth and status (or that status even matters, etc., etc.).

lol you've quoted someone else to substantiate point,because you cant fink of owt
so gimee you're so lame,you've cut &paste someone else post to make your point?
priceless

seeing you're so sharp Oxford you'll know my anecdotal preference have no rl impact
I certainly do have opinion that housewifery is outdated patriarchal
i certainly don't expect you to renounce your housewifery life based on my pov

Of course it is up to the individual what they want to call themselves. But nevertheless the fact remains that SAHM is a relatively new term. And for many years these women would be termed as housewives. But then it was decided a more upmarket term was needed. The Americans came up with Homemaker which I think is pretty pathetic. And in the UK the SAHM is now what people seem to prefer. Fair enough. But it's the same position.

Thank you, that is really well put.

Oh Scottish you don't bother me you amuse me love so keep trying love. Yep. She said it so well I didn't feel the need to add anything - she has got you down to a t.

am clear on what that particular poster thinks
you however seem incapable of original thought
when you can c&p someone else. priceless

Oxford - why do you not want to be called a housewife but prefer the SAHM tag - genuine question. Do you see one as superior to the other? It never occurred to me they were different - just a new title for the same role? Nothing wrong with the role - so why object to the title?

What OxfordBags said. I am constantly amazed at the number of friends and family who insist they are 'feminists' or believe in equality and so on, yet sneer at women choosing to stay at home to look after the children.

Can they not see the hypocrisy?

My DB and SIL are always bringing up my stay at home status. Yet they are ardent 'feminists', both left wing and very liberal thinkers, but can't help asking me when I will go back to work to 'earn my own money', and 'don't I feel uncomfortable spending my DHs money...?

Carry on love - you sound like you are getting annoyed - oh and do you know any other word but priceless? I know you desperately want to but people like you don't rile me, people like you amuse me. Carry on carry on!

What it all boils down to is that as long and you and your children are happy that is all that matters isn't it. Op - be happy and don't worry about what others think.

Okay OP, you wanted routines (though why you didn't just ask in the first place I can't imagine), here's ours.

7am alarm goes off. DDs come into our bed for 20 mins cuddles.
7:25 up and dressed
8:00 downstairs for breakfast (all of these stages accompanied by much arguing and whining)
8:30 leave house
8:45 drop DDs off at school and drive to work
9:10 arrive at work
5:30 leave work
6:00 pick DDs up from after-school club with compaints and occasional crying that they have to stop playing and leave their friends.
6:10 arrive home for some play and catching up on the day.
7:15 DH does bath time, I walk the dogs/clean up downstairs and we take turns to read stories
8:00 lights out
8:10 DH and I finishing cleaning up the house and cook dinner

On Fridays I get up at 5am, walk the dogs and get to work for 7am, so I can pick the DDs up from school. We spend the afternoon doing something fun. DH takes the DDs to breakfast club at 8am.

On Tuesdays I work late so DH does the evening shift and I get home hopefully in time for a story before the DDs go to sleep.

On Mondays DD1 has karate at 6:30, and I attend the adult class at 7:30 so DH stops by on his way home to collect the DDs.

On Wednesdays I leave work at 3:30 to get the DDs to a 4:30 ballet class and get in another hour of work in the car while they're there. And in the evening I have choir (and/or another karate class).

And on various days, whenever time allows (ideally Wed and Fri morning and on weekends I go running through the mud with my dogs).

I do not consider myself first and foremost be a wife and mother. I am a scientist, an ex-skydiver, a karate-ka, a singer, a marathon runner. Any fool can get married and have kids, it's hardly and achievement. Okay, being a good mother is something to be proud of, but I would hate for that to be all I have to define myself by.

do you really need it spelt out,housewife livin on male wage.it's not liberating
its patriarchal man work,woman recipiepient of Male salary and raising the family
it's a reenactment of women place is home but give it faux social science gravitas

It is ironic nodecentnickname. Very much so!

Thank you to all who firstly understood I was not meaning to be rude. Yes as I have said I now know I should of posted this in a different place. :) Secondly for taking on board my apology and writing up your thoughts on your own family life.

I never wanted to disrespect anyone who is not a SAHM at all. For some reason some posters are going that way to put down others for their personal choices.

And some posters have been trying to gently point out what the dangers of your chosen lifestyle are to you and your children, and even your DH, but you do appear to be doing a good impression of going "LALALALALALALALA" with your fingers in your ears. Ah well, your life.....

You don't need to apologise op and you did not in any way come across like some are saying. Be happy and confident in your choices, but do let your children take on some chores! You sound lovely to me x

I have the choice to 'liberate myself' by going out to work if I want to. I choose not to at the moment. My DH and I are a team. We decided jointly the division of labour in terms of raising a family. We could have done it differently but in the end this is what made sense economically and was really my preference. When my children are older I plan to go back to work.

I think you're lucky you can afford to be a SAHM these days. Me and my ex both had to work to support our DS and to pay the bills. I'd have loved to have stayed at home, run the house, go to playgroups, look after DS rather than go to work.

Still it's a good thing she maintained her career so she is able to support herself after we separated.

Hi there

I asked yonks ago: what about you, YOU, not wife, mother, or cook/cleaner, what about you? What do you do for you? Genuine q, not poking with a stick

Well done OP! You started a bunfight. Hope you're as proud about that achievement as you are of your housework

I find it quite sad that you have never used your college education and that your life is all about other people

to say great for you would be hypocritical of me