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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a traditional sahm ??

865 replies

ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 22:16

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

OP posts:
rechargemybatteries · 04/01/2013 21:10

But Arisbottle would you say you define yourself as a mother and a wife? And only as a mother and a wife?

kim147 · 04/01/2013 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:10

rechargemybatteries

What do you define yourself as if you do not mind me asking?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 04/01/2013 21:11

traditional housewife is post war construct,the tradition is women and children worked
I'd certainly never chose to be housewife being mum isn't all defining to me
I get approbation from working and being mum

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:14

kim147

Yes I agree , I am lucky now as my children are all in school and I do get more time for "me". I found it very weird at first. Now though I go to my gym classes and so on.
I can understand the picture of a boring women at home cleaning all day but that is just not all I do. When my children were young I was more like a child minder lol as I have 5 children so my day was full full full of messy activities and play time.

However yes I do map out my life round my children and husband and I am not ashamed of that at all.

OP posts:
rechargemybatteries · 04/01/2013 21:15

I'm a mother, a partner, a shop worker, a student, a future graduate (I hope got to pass this course first) a good driver a crap sewer, daughter to my parents, sister to my brothers, auntie to my nieces and nephew, exW to my exH, a rubbish gym member but a good swimmer a great cook ... loads of stuff. But being a partner and mother is only part of what I am. I used to only be a wife and mother and I am a far more rounded and omg what a lot of life there is out there that I never ever even saw it's hard to explain. I am 10 million times the person now that I was when I was only a wife and mother.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:18

scottishmummy

Its great you get a lot from your job. I have always admired any working mum. It is great when you see how they manage so well with balance of work life and children :)

OP posts:
Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:19

rechargemybatteries

Wow lol . That is a lot of things.

OP posts:
kim147 · 04/01/2013 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:25

kim147

Yes I admire working dads of course. I admire my Husband and he has been more than happy to work full time for our family. There has certainly been no pressure on anyone in our house.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 04/01/2013 21:25

get something for yourself Eva,achievement for you not extension of housewifery
would you support if one of the sobs wanted to be househusband and wife work?

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:27

sobs?

OP posts:
Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:29

I am doing all the achievement I need :)

OP posts:
rechargemybatteries · 04/01/2013 21:29

Sons?

Do you believe proudmum4eva that only a woman should be a SAHP or would you be happy if one of your sons wanted to stay at home?

scottishmummy · 04/01/2013 21:33

sons!would you support a son stay at home,wife work
or do you think it's women housewives,man work?

Avuncular · 04/01/2013 21:33

Have a poke into Proverbs 31.

That SAHM seemed to run not just the household but the family business as well, while her DH went off to Parliament, or the Old Bailey or somewhere.

I have sometimes reflected that being a busy mum is one of the best preparations for management that there is, if you and potential employers can see the skills as "transferable" if/when the time comes!

[Screaming child or sulky staff? Plans, deadlines, budgets, disasters, overtime]

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 04/01/2013 21:33

No I do not believe in anything as a certain way to maintain a family home. It is what ever is right for the individual family and their own choices. If one of my sons happens to turn out as a SAHD then great that is their choice gender does not have anything to do with it.

OP posts:
showtunesgirl · 04/01/2013 21:46

Oh dear God, is this thread STILL going? Hmm

scottishmummy · 04/01/2013 21:49

you popped in to say that?if it's so irksome go peruse another stimulating thread

theleanandhungrytype · 04/01/2013 21:51

seems its ok to be as rude as you like on here, so long as you tell someone else to be polite at the same time

scottishmummy · 04/01/2013 21:54

what springs to mind?what examples you thinking of

Bonsoir · 04/01/2013 22:33

"traditional housewife is post war construct"

No it's not. English women who could afford to do so have stayed at home and reared their own children from the 18th century onwards. Middle class housewifery was a well-established Victorian lifestyle.

Viviennemary · 04/01/2013 22:38

As far as I see it a SAHM is more or less the same as a housewife. What's the difference.

gimmecakeandcandy · 04/01/2013 22:46

Op - ignore ignore ignore all the cattiness. You sound very happy and there is nothing wrong with how you feel or want to live your life. Please don't let anyone make you feel anything other than how you want to feel.

gimmecakeandcandy · 04/01/2013 22:51

Add message | Report | Message poster cannotbelievehowexpensive Fri 04-Jan-13 20:28:03
Can't believe some of the attitudes towards SAHMs here. How can staying at home to care for your children possibly be setting them a BAD example? There is no right or wrong - some mums work, some don't - why is there this eternal quest on MN to prove one is better than the other?

scottishmummy, it is abundantly clear to anyone with more than a passing interest in this debate that you have issues around the whole SAHM thing. You appear on every thread I have seen on this issue with depressing regularity and trot out the same tired old nonsense about setting a good example by working/bad example by staying at home.

On the face of it you have massive contempt and disrespect for SAHMs but there's definitely more to it than that. It's pretty obvious that you are not happy in your choices because if you were you wouldn't' feel the need to constantly justify them on every thread and constantly berate women who are able to stay at home with their children.Your obsession with this debate is not healthy - think you need to face up to your issues with SAHMs and ask yourself where all this contempt and vitriol for them really comes from.

PS I'm also willing to bet that you have a far less important job than you think you have, which you have bigged up to yourself to justify not staying at home with your kids, and that you bully any staff who have the misfortune to work with you - you sound the type.

...........

Couldn't have said it better myself! ;)

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