To be a traditional sahm ??

[ProudMum4Eva]

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

OP - I'm glad you are happy, it's great you have the options that make your family happy and run smoothly, I just don't get your use of the word 'traditional'. It's only been traditional for the very wealthy classes until fairly recently.

Women have always worked and provided for their families since the butt crack of time. It's been historically ignored, often from the home or in the homes of others, but women have traditionally been economically active alongside their partners and the rest of the family. The staying at home being completely provided for woman is a fairly new for most groups and has no traditions in it. The idea that women working is something new/modern erases the continued efforts of women across time and space.

If it works for you, fine.

I think you should maybe rethink the fact that you do everything in the house and are not teaching your children important life skills.

I agree with the comment about it being a little controlling.

Remember, DC do grow up one day and relationships and needs change.

I say this as the child of a mother rather like you (although she was qualified with a good career before becoming a mother).

I think its really silly to assume/worry that if a woman hasn't worked outside the home she will have nothing to talk about

I've done both. Right now I'm at home...soon I guess I'll need to find outside work.

Either way I'm just as interesting!

YY to the comments about making oneself needed being a very controlling and fairly Unattractive tactic. That applies with any relationship- husband/ wife, parent/child, friendships...

People who seek validation through trying to make other people need them are actually being quite selfish, and thinking about their own needs

This is of course very different to being generous and kind spirited and seeking to help others when they have a genuine need arise. I hope I would always be ready to step up and meet a friends need if I could- but actually wanting them to need me would be really self centred. Ditto with husband and children... I would prefer they spend time with me because they want to rather than because I've created a dependency.

Wow.
Some really bitter people/posts on this thread.
Jealous, maybe?
I'm a SAHM too,1 child.
Always have things to do, cleaning, food shopping. Now DD is at school I've gone back to college to study Spanish. Educated to degree. More than happy to 'run' the home and look after my DD. My mum was SAHM, didn't make me do chores either. I haven't turned out so badly, thanks for asking.
And I am a feminist too, kind regards henceforth....

Fluffy - your MIL's kids don't have little to do with her because she was a sahm! And that's not the reason she didn't have much to say. There is some right daft stuff being said about sahm. I'll never regret being home for my kids and kids benefitz from having their mum/main carer at home when they are small.

how typical, we're not all giving a round of applause so we must be jeaous?

Be a sahm, well for you, nobody cares either way. But boasting about never having worked, never planning to, never contributing to society, it's not really something to be proud of, is it? And its not something to be jealous of, to be sure!

Some of us believe that by providing a stable home life for our children that we are "contributing" to society though kobaya-and btw your posts fairly screams green eyed monster

not sure how, since I am a contented SAHM and have been for several years. Did you actually read it?

I'm not looking for anyone's approval thanks for asking. More than happy with my choice. Just asking for women to respect each others choices and not bitch about it. WAHMvSAHM, BFvFF, Kids v no kids....when will the infighting stop??
Women are their own worst enemies.

So you dont value your own contribution to society as a sahm then kobaya?-or does only financial contribution count in your eyes?...

Um, again, read. I do thanks, but life is longer than these years with young children. Most SAHM have worked at some point, and/or will do after their children grow. At the least they might do some volunteer work, unlike OP who plans on sah long after her children are gone.
Your children are not such immense gifts to the world that you need do nothing else your entire life.

It's not about fighting, in reality, no-one cares which is why the bemusement at the OP starting this thread merely to inform us all how wonderful her life is. Very nice, but why the fuck are you telling us this?

No jealousy here cockypants. That assumption makes you sound v over sensitive to be honest.

Good for you if you like being a SAHM but it isn't the right choice for everyone nor is it necessarily the best choice/ the one that produces the happiest children/ the best relationships with adult children.

amothersruin- I have to admit that I giggled at your post. You do know that working parents can provide a stable home too right?

A typical working life could be 45 years give or take. It doesn't take that long to raise a family so it is reasonable to expect a 'contribution to society' in addition to raising a family.

I'm one of the few SAHM in DDs class, there are GPs, oncologists, 2 lawyers, business women etc. Their mums(ie the grandmas) have often said 'good' and 'well done' when I answer their question as to what I do for a living. Interesting how social attitudes have changed.!
I enjoyed reading your post, fluffy. Thought provoking.

Over sensitive? No just sick of being regarded as an anti feminist uneducated gold digger layabout who does fuck all!!

Do you really get a lot of comments to that effect cocky?

I have never had anyone comment to my face about my choices- not that I would care if they did!

Unless anyone has actually said that to you (and I highly doubt it), you've just proved the oversensitive comment true.
And well done for being a sahm? I'd find that patronising personally.

I too am longing for some Xenia action Kim. She needs a call button...

Cockypants But what do you think it means when the grandmothers say 'good' and 'well done'? Is it because they think you have made a more valid choice than their own daughters and DILs? Would you expect them to say "Well, what a waste of space you are!" if they didn't agree with your choice?

Xenia will be at work :)

Frankly I'm more bored of the in fighting.
Didn't feel patronised by the girls grandmas at all.
I'm happy with my choice, and I hope that all the other posters on here are happy with theirs, too. I haven't got anything else useful to add to the discussion, and I don't want to be drawn into daft point scoring!

Lol at the comment which tries to make a correlation between 'stable home life' and not working. Since when has having parents who worked meant that children aren't provided with stability?

And to take that to it's logical conclusion, you would expect to never have family breakdown or lack of harmony in families where one or both parents aren't working!

What utter nonsense.

I wonder where the op has gone? I also wonder why she started this thread. Boredom I reckon

Which was exactly my point Cockypants. If you're bored of the infighting (I know I am) then why perpetuate it?

Since you are bored of the infighting that is a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer it!