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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know AIBU, I know this has been done to death, but if anyone else tells me I'm enormous with a shocked face - I WILL cry.

81 replies

ThermalMittens · 02/01/2013 20:43

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I'm FED UP of people telling me how big I am. I'm fed up of shocked looks when I say how far along I am.

Firstly, I'm really not that enormous. I'm going to get a lot fucking bigger in the next eight weeks, believe me. And if my stomach does stick out somewhat, it's probably because I was a bit fat before I got pregnant!

Next time a random stranger tells me with hushed awe that my child will be enormous, can I say that? "Actually, DS1 was fairly small. I'm just fat, thanks for pointing it out".

And if anyone else asks if I'm sure I'm not carrying twins, I think no judge in the land will hold me accountable for my subsequent actions.

I realise that this post makes me sound unhinged. It's just so fucking rude and I am exceptionally touchy atm.

OP posts:
echt · 02/01/2013 20:49

YANBU. AS far as I'm concerned, there is only one thing to say to a pregnant woman and that is: "You look so well". Even if they don't. In fact especially if they don't.

Colossally rude on the part of those people.

dequoisagitil · 02/01/2013 20:50

YANBU

BabylonElf · 02/01/2013 20:53

YANBU
It gets so annoying. Did no one mention that you become public property when you're pregnant??

Still, you've also go to to look forward to the "haven't you had it yet?" from about 38 weeks onwards..... I always wanted to answer "yes but I fucking ate it" Angry

Sianilaa · 02/01/2013 20:53

You are definitely NOT BU!

At 33 weeks gone, I did once look shocked back and say "oh! I'm not pregnant..." Watched them squirm!

Yama · 02/01/2013 20:54

People are dicks. You have my sympathy.

Who the fuck thinks it is acceptable to comment on the size of a person's body?

Guy at the entrance of Hamley's said something like "I'm not being rude but you're huge." Think I said "As a matter of fact, that is very rude. Please don't comment on my size."

ThermalMittens - you look lovely. And YANBU.

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 02/01/2013 20:56
OP posts:
Bingdweller · 02/01/2013 20:58

I feel for you.... I could have posted your exact thread from week 20 in both my pregnancies.

One of the most hurtful comments was after I had DS and when I told a family member he weighed 7lb11oz, he sniggered and said are you sure he isn't 11lb7oz, then proceeded to mention the size of my post-CS belly Sad

Be vile to anyone else who sees fit to comment!

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 02/01/2013 21:00

Or should that be

The worst bit was that I've starting fudging my dates to avoid the comments about my size. So instead of saying late Feb/early March, today I just said Feb. and I still got eyes the size of goddamn dinner plates.

Babylon, I was eight days overdue last time so have experience of haveyouhadityetreallyareyousure? A swift uppercut should suffice as response, no?

OP posts:
fishandlilacs · 02/01/2013 21:01

Ooh I sympathise totally. DS was 13lb and I was like a bloody bouncy castle toward the end but i didn't want people to tell me.

I perfected the "yeah-thanks for that" with a stern glare

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 02/01/2013 21:01

Bing that's horrible.

OP posts:
Afritutu · 02/01/2013 21:02

I am not a particularly large person, although I am tall, but both pregnancies I had an absolutely huge mega bump, all out front, I really did look like I was having twins. Dd1 was 3 weeks early, but I looked 2 weeks overdue, and dd2 was overdue and I just looked enormous. Got SO pissed off with people telling me how big I was and how the babies were going to be huge. They weren't, they were both average. I feel your pain.

EmmaBemma · 02/01/2013 21:03

oh, you poor thing! I put on a lot of weight with my first, all of it long since gone, and I remember one acquaintance who hadn't seen me for a while saying "christ, you're HUGE!" and then, just in case I was in any danger of thinking she just meant my bump, she continued "and not just on your bump either, even your face is big".

Doingakatereddy · 02/01/2013 21:06

Oh I am so with you, I'm 28 wks pregnant & am constantly subjected to 'you sure it's not twins', 'have you got your dates wrong' or 'you're huge'.

I now just look them on the eye & say 'no, I'm just fat' and I repeat and repeat it until the rude buggers shut up.

If I'm honest, I am terrifyingly big - absolutely shit scared about the state my tummy will be in afterwards & frankly sick of been this big.

Join me in planning a pity party until we can see our feet again

CatsRule · 02/01/2013 21:07

Yanbu!

It was the bump touchers that pissed me off!

Just keep thinking that in around 8 weeks you will be holding your beautiful snuggly newborn.

fluffypillow · 02/01/2013 21:07

YANBU. People can be such idiots.

HorraceTheOtter · 02/01/2013 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TessCowDirect · 02/01/2013 21:07

YANBU

I wish people would think before they make comments.

I had the opposite problem. I hardly had any bump at all and was having regular scans at the hospital to make sure baby was okay. It was very worrying - especially with my first. It really didn't help with people saying things like "you don't even look pregnant" and "are you sure you've not just got a football up your jumper".

I also went 2 weeks over with both DSs and was sick of the "have you not had it yet" comments.

Queenmarigold · 02/01/2013 21:08

Try being 36 weeks with twins...
If I could move quick enough I'd punch people!

motherinferior · 02/01/2013 21:09

I was so enormous in my second pregnancy that everyone commented. Lorry drivers leant out of their lorries to remark on how huge I was. Friends sent helpful emails from around the country about how vast they'd heard I was.

It was nine and a half years ago and I am still fuming. Not least because I'd only put on one effing blinding stone, it was just all there in one enormous bulge in front.

Would it cheer you up to know that unlike my first time, I subsided really very quickly and was back in my jeans three months later?

NewYearNewBoo · 02/01/2013 21:09

Oh YASOOOOOOOONBU, I am 23 weeks and quite large of bump, I was in toys r us the other day and was talking to a staff member not even about baby stuff and she noticed bump, asked when I was due, told her early May and she actually gasped and put her hand over her mouth to try and disguise her Shock face :( I get it all the time 'you sure it's only one baby' 'your gonna pop soon' 'HOW LONG LEFT, your gonna be huge' :(:( I was telling people I was due after xmas, now I will just be saying 'not long left' and stay quite woolly about the actual dates.

jlx · 02/01/2013 21:09

Its just as bad the other way round too, I constantly got told I was really small for my dates, one kind person even said I'm I sure there isn't something wrong. Dd was 7lb 3 and born on her due date, now people are constantly telling me she is small for her age at 12 weeks. Drives of mad! X

Snazzynewyear · 02/01/2013 21:09

It is very rude. Try 'I'm sure you didn't mean to make me feel bad by saying that but you have'. Don't let people off the hook. It's a common social blunder but the sooner people are trained out of it the better.

CordeliaChase · 02/01/2013 21:12

I hated how rude people were during my pregnancy. It's like they think they have an invitation to be rude just because you're pregnancy! So many people told me how big I was, how big baby was going to be (9lb 6oz, hardly huge) and was I having twins. I got so bloody sick of it. I'm too polite (soft as shit) to be rude back. It used to really upset me sometimes. I also invested in a tshirt with 'hands off the bump' on the front.

motherinferior · 02/01/2013 21:13

Oh, and the ensuing baby was under seven pounds and is has remained a total shortarse.

ChristmasJubilee · 02/01/2013 21:13

I got the opposite with ds 1. I didn't realise you were pregnant. Your bumps really small do you think everything's ok. It's going to be a really small baby. He was 9lbs 8oz and was well hidden under all my "padding". YANBU - people are rude to comment.

By ds's 2&3 my stomach muscles were shot so they were easily spotted. Grin
Also you might not get a lot bigger. Sometimes they move down and change position and although obviously they grow a lot you might not look much bigger.