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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to be annoyed my friends invited this woman?

128 replies

RussianSnowflake · 02/01/2013 14:16

In my group of friend there is one girl who we all know. Some obviously know her better. I have known her for many years and the only way I can describe her is odd (she doesn't have SN)

We had a girls holiday in 2010. The girl decided to eat things like fruit and swordfish etc, so you can guess what happened. At one point she was even being sick, and was just stood in the middle of the room, one of the girl had to actually tell her to use the toilet. We then had to tell her to have a shower because she was literally about to get into bed with sick in her hair.

We took a road trip to visit a friend who had moved away, the girl borrowed one of my friends jumpers as she was cold when we got there. We ordered food and she ordered the hottest curry on the menu. We start eating and about 10 minutes later we realise she's gone very quiet, we looked over and saw she was bright red, pouring with sweat and even had tears in here eyes. She pulled the jumper off and swiped the sweat off her face with it and then handed it back to my friend.

This kind of behaviour I could tolerate. However we were having a chat and she was talking about her problems and I mine. She then turned to me and said "yes well my problems are much bigger than yours."

Her mum got ill around the time we were on holiday (one of the reasons we invited her). Two of my friends bent over backwards helping her, constantly inviting her out, ringing her and texting her to see how she was. Her mum got much better and yet she would still ignore the concern my friends were showing.

The help they gave her was never appreciated. She does like these women, she is just a very anti-social person. She would rather ignore these text than be polite and say no thank you, in fact I don't think she has ever once said thank you to them.

I have not seen this woman myself for a good two years.

I returned home after working away for the last 6 months. and after seeing my family, my friends organised a meal. I turned up a little late (10 minutes) and so everyone else was there and to my surprise so was this woman.

I know it sounds selfish but we spent all of 5 minutes talking about me and what I'd done and then the rest of the evening was talking about this woman. My friends know I dislike this woman and yet she was invited to the reunion/catch up meal.

aibu to be slightly pissed off about this?

I kind of feel like I am.

OP posts:
maddening · 02/01/2013 15:07

but how old are you all?

crunchbag · 02/01/2013 15:07

Oh I read that wrong Russian.

Still it sounds like everyone else likes her enough to invite her to a reunion/get together.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 02/01/2013 15:07

You all sound very mature.

When are you back to school Op?

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 02/01/2013 15:08

I only try to help if I'm drunk (not that I get that drug on any sort of regular basis) becaus eI know that there's nothing worse than the sick person TRYING to help and just making it worse!

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 02/01/2013 15:08

DRUNK not drug

Lavenderhoney · 02/01/2013 15:08

If you have been away you friends will have been getting on with their lives and this means being friends with who they like. She was there and you weren't. You have to expect some movement in group dynamics if you weren't there. Did you expect everyone to talk about what you had been doing which could hardly take a whole meal and not talk about their lives? Didn't you want to hear about them?

If she is now a friend of everyone and used to being invited, I don't see why she should be left out - that would be very hurtful and mean. If she knows how you feel about her she was good to go anyway. You aren't going to try to put her onto the group are you? I understand from other threads this is the Wendy phenomenon and is not a nice thing to do.

What she did 2 years ago is hardly relevant surely?

ComposHat · 02/01/2013 15:08

you sound like a bloody loon and incredibly small minded. shouldn't eat fruit abroad...what utter nonsense. Where do you think the fruit you buy in British supermarkets comes from?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/01/2013 15:13

I was nice to her during the meal, and sat and listened and asked her questions about her job and gave her a hug when we left - I am getting reminded now of the black widow spider!!

Pancake - trust me, you would want me at your curry night, I am lovely :)

MulledWineAndScully · 02/01/2013 15:14

I always eat things like fruit and swordfish on holiday, but never actual fruit and swordfish. Just things like it.

xameliax · 02/01/2013 15:15

This is what I HATE about aibu.

Can you not see that a majority of you have turned into a cackle of witches

Some of you on here are just spoiling for a fight. If you think the OP is mean then fine but do you think it makes you a better or even a nice person to throw out personal attacks? It doesn't.

Some of you need to realise whilst you may not agree with the OP, there is still a person sat there reading nasty comment after nasty comment. How does that help a situation.

The OP has said she was being unreasonable. What more do you want?

aibu really is the shit bucket of MN.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/01/2013 15:15

what is there that it like fruit then but isn't actually fruit?

You mean like a fruit pastille or something Confused

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 02/01/2013 15:21

I've asked on another thread but got no answer, what is this "Wendy" thing?

olympicvibes · 02/01/2013 15:27

I know xameliax..fucking wierd behaviour. I would never ask for opinions on AIBU. Who made it up anyway, some sacked employee from Judge Judy/ Jeremy Kyle?

MulledWineAndScully · 02/01/2013 15:31

"what is there that it like fruit then but isn't actually fruit?"

wine [nods sagely]

TheSecondComing · 02/01/2013 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/01/2013 15:37

Wine...of course....I am embarassed that I didn't think of that Blush

Sugarice · 02/01/2013 15:45

The Wendy reference regards a Poster who was good friends with a woman she named Wendy for ease of identity.

Her and Wendy were good friends then Wendy eased off on the friendship and gradually ostrasised the poster from her other long standing friendship group leaving her isolated from that group with no explanation as to why it even happened.

OpenToPersuasion · 02/01/2013 15:47

Have you eber measured 5 mins?

It's a hell of a long time to be talking about one person.

You should count your lucky stars. That was almost monopolising the whole night!

Sarraburd · 02/01/2013 15:49

Yes this is hardly a flaming.

OP hasn't helped matters by coming across as immature and frankly a bit of a cow unsympathetically, not to mention ignorant unempathetic towards this girl's possible mild SN, which impression subsequent postings have not exactly ameliorated.

Must remember to stick with the wine when I next go abroad - sage advice indeed.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 02/01/2013 15:53

thank you sugarice Smile

TheFallenNinja · 02/01/2013 15:58

The new extreme sport. Fish and fruit - Abroad !!!

Ffs

yfuwchhapus · 02/01/2013 16:01

She might have aspergers....it's an invisible disability!! She might find it hard to empathise with others!!

MulledWineAndScully · 02/01/2013 16:01

"Fish and Fruit - Abroad!!" should be a reality show.

Each day contestants take on a different variety of fruit or fish in a foreign clime. The one who has lost the most weight at the end of 2 weeks is declared the winner.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/01/2013 16:03

She might have aspergers....it's an invisible disability!! She might find it hard to empathise with others!!

Or she may just be hanging with the wrong crowd!

Viviennemary · 02/01/2013 16:10

Well your friends seem to be a very charitable, forgiving and extremely tolerant bunch of people. So really in a way your are lucky to have them as friends. So why not dwell on the positive.

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