aibu to be annoyed my friends invited this woman?

[RussianSnowflake]

In my group of friend there is one girl who we all know. Some obviously know her better. I have known her for many years and the only way I can describe her is odd (she doesn't have SN)

We had a girls holiday in 2010. The girl decided to eat things like fruit and swordfish etc, so you can guess what happened. At one point she was even being sick, and was just stood in the middle of the room, one of the girl had to actually tell her to use the toilet. We then had to tell her to have a shower because she was literally about to get into bed with sick in her hair.

We took a road trip to visit a friend who had moved away, the girl borrowed one of my friends jumpers as she was cold when we got there. We ordered food and she ordered the hottest curry on the menu. We start eating and about 10 minutes later we realise she's gone very quiet, we looked over and saw she was bright red, pouring with sweat and even had tears in here eyes. She pulled the jumper off and swiped the sweat off her face with it and then handed it back to my friend.

This kind of behaviour I could tolerate. However we were having a chat and she was talking about her problems and I mine. She then turned to me and said "yes well my problems are much bigger than yours."

Her mum got ill around the time we were on holiday (one of the reasons we invited her). Two of my friends bent over backwards helping her, constantly inviting her out, ringing her and texting her to see how she was. Her mum got much better and yet she would still ignore the concern my friends were showing.

The help they gave her was never appreciated. She does like these women, she is just a very anti-social person. She would rather ignore these text than be polite and say no thank you, in fact I don't think she has ever once said thank you to them.

I have not seen this woman myself for a good two years.

I returned home after working away for the last 6 months. and after seeing my family, my friends organised a meal. I turned up a little late (10 minutes) and so everyone else was there and to my surprise so was this woman.

I know it sounds selfish but we spent all of 5 minutes talking about me and what I'd done and then the rest of the evening was talking about this woman. My friends know I dislike this woman and yet she was invited to the reunion/catch up meal.

aibu to be slightly pissed off about this?

I kind of feel like I am.

One of them bumped into her Betty and exchanged numbers.

With one of the girls in the group they get the same bus in the morning and the girl actively blanks her.

I have had food poisoning in the past. I puked were I stood before coming to my senses and moving. It was a delayed reaction. When I finally finished puking, all I wanted to do was curl up somewhere and sleep. A shower was the last thing on my mind. So yea I woke up with dried puke on me.

It has nothing to do with being weird. Or anti-social. Or odd or any other insult you care to throw. It was to do with I couldn't give a fuck because all reasoning had gone out of my body along with the puke.

Your mates like this person. She must have very good qualities. You are not in their pockets constantly to know how she does or doesn't reply to every text. You are not always there to know if she says thanks or not. She actually sounds like a nicer person than you.

Oh and the link, is about 3rd world, not all of abroad. And not all fish is excluded.

She sounds like she might have some un dx sn as her behaviour does not Sound right. Your friends probably recognise this and terefore try ad involve her

No she wasn't delirious caramel

She threw up and then felt better and sat down and watched us clean up her sick.

Then you need to ask your mates Russian why they invited her. And please let me know why cos' if she's not been around for 2 yrs why the reunion now?

They must think you like her.... They must...

So she had horrible food poisoning, clearly just wanted to pass out in bed until it went away, and you're throwing a strip because she didn't wash her hair first?
Unpleasant yes, but preferable to hoiking your arse into a shower when you're that ill.

You're coming across as very childish and self centred OP.

When I throw up, I don't feel better and sit down. I sit down because my legs are shaking and my stomach is hurting from ejecting out the sick.

Do you have to fill in a form to be part of the group?

Yes. That is what delirious presents as: similar to a catatonic state.

so to sum up, none of you really like each other?

Just because someone bumped into her though, it doesn't mean they are then obliged to invite her on a night out. If that person genuinly didn't like her there would have been no reason for them to then contact her and invite her out.

Sounds more like they are saying this because they know you are pissed off she was invited. I think they like are but think you are gonna chuck your toys out of your pram because you don't.

"She threw up and then felt better and sat down and watched us clean up her sick"

err yeah, probably because she felt like if she moved she'd be sick again!

Interesting read this

as someone else said - how old are you all?

Are you all bitching behind each other's backs?

It just sounds like a strange friendship group for grown women.

The only way to explain the bizarre friendship group thing and self absorbedness is if you are all 18?

This all sounds like a fairly odd group of friends.

Maybe it was a get together rather than a meal to specifically welcome you home??

ie-it´s not all about you!!

I guess the friend who invited her had fonder memories of the holiday than you and the friend who blanks her on the bus.

It all sounds very childish.

Bettyswollocks is right, just cos phone numbers are exchanged doesn't mean you get invited out. They obviously asked her.

I could give BettyS my phone number but she ain't joining me and my friends for a curry on Friday well you can if you want BettyS

Anyways - I am being unreasonable.

I tried very hard with this woman. It's just hard to make an effort with someone when after months of trying they give nothing back.

There really is only so many times you can try.

I was nice to her during the meal, and sat and listened and asked her questions about her job and gave her a hug when we left.

When we were on holiday when I said I sat in the hotel room with her and she spoke for over an hour about her problems, I tried to empathise and say this happened to me so I can understand why you're upset etc to which she looked at me and said her problems are bigger and more important than mine.

Yeah they probably were but I wouldn't dismiss someone like that.

If she is invited out again, I will of course be nice to her.

I am going to leave this thread now, but if you want to keep talking about fruit and swordfish then be my guest. It is an interesting subject.

Have a good day.

I doubt she has children if 'I spent the night cleaning up her sick,' is accurate rather than hyperbole.
Most parents can clean up vomit in much less time, whilst being reassuring and waving bowls and water at the patient.

I hope it is just the OP out of step, and not that a cackle of witches has invited this girl to the meal to be the entertainment, and gossip fodder.

And just to add I mean SHE is the one who blanks one of the girls, not the other way round.

We will miss you Russian

Even when I am sick I can muster up a so sorry I am not feeling good. Even in my sick induced stae I would still make an attempt if not a feeble one of cleaning it up