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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is an atrocious thing to say and not funny in anyway

103 replies

uiler · 01/01/2013 20:02

We were at a New Years Eve Party last night at my mum and her partners. I went to the toilet and asked my brother to watch my bag for me. About 20 minutes later I needed to get some money from my purse that I owed someelse there. I couldn't find it in my bag (I'd left it in the car). When I realised where it was I joked with me brother about my relief that he hadn't stolen it. My mums partner then interjected and said " (my brothers name) wouldn't have taken it, could you imagine if he got done for stealing and sent to prison he'd be tossed about in the showers like a dog toy" Shock . Some of his friends then burst into hysterics at this and mum said "you are one you aren't you".

When I told DH about this he said its not funny but after a few drinks some people say things they shouldn't. My brother is only 14 and I think no matter what saying such a thing about your partner's son is totally unacceptable.

OP posts:
JumpingJackSprat · 01/01/2013 20:04

its not funny and is inappropriate but i agree with your DH. not something to get majorly worked up about.

curiousuze · 01/01/2013 20:04

YANBU - I hate all rape jokes

sherazade · 01/01/2013 20:04

yanbu. what a disgusting thing to say about anyone let alone someone who is still a child.

M25Meltdown · 01/01/2013 20:05

Not sure I understand your post, but you asked someone to watch your bag... Do you move in some very dodgy circles....?

squeakytoy · 01/01/2013 20:05

just sounds like a typical drunk blokish comment... hardly atrocious or shocking...

financialwizard · 01/01/2013 20:06

How inappropriate judgey pants hoiked up

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 20:07

M25Meltdown- Not really but I would never leave my bag unattended.

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 01/01/2013 20:09

It was inappropriate because it was about a child. If it was aimed at an adult I wouldn't have thought it was funny, it's not remotely funny, but I would struggle to be offended at it. I think you are being a little over sensitive.

StanleyLambchop · 01/01/2013 20:09

I thought you were overreacting a bit until I saw your DBro is only 14. I don't think that is acceptable to say to a child, even in a jokey way. YANBU.

CloudsAndTrees · 01/01/2013 20:11

O second thoughts, are you annoyed because it was a dig at your little brother from his step Dad rather than because it was about rape?

I wouldn't appreciate a comment like that from a step parent about their step son, and thinking about it that way, it is out of order.

NewYearNewNagoo · 01/01/2013 20:12

It's not funny and it is inappropriate but I'm not really shocked tbh. There is a huge wide of society who would laugh at that kind of shit, and you will look humourless and uptight if you made a big deal of it.

Hassled · 01/01/2013 20:12

Yeah, that's pretty awful.

RevoltingPeasant · 01/01/2013 20:13

Erm I am not easily offended or one to shout 'PEEEDO' at the first opportunity but that is actually really unpleasant.

I mean, 'tossed about in the showers' - to a 14yo - who is your stepson? Jeez. At best it's incredibly vulgar and at worst pervy. Ick.

Chottie · 01/01/2013 20:15

I think it is a disgusting thing to say and I would have pulled her up over it.

TerraNotSoFirma · 01/01/2013 20:15

Would they think it as funny if said about a 14yo girl.
Jokes about children being raped= not funny
People who laugh at them=wankers

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 20:17

Cloudsandtrees- Thats exactly it

OP posts:
fourfingerkitkat · 01/01/2013 20:17

Definitely not being unreasonable...I'm amazed at the comments some people will make especially with reference to male rape....

soulresolution · 01/01/2013 20:18

Creepy thing to say.

Viviennemary · 01/01/2013 20:19

It doesn't sound very pleasant. If you were at your family's why on earth did your brother have to watch your bag. And I think you were being a bit insensitive making a joke about being glad your brother hadn't stolen it. Which is probably why the other person made the next joke. All in all I'd forget the whole thing if I were you.

JustFabulous · 01/01/2013 20:20

Why would you joke about your brother nicking your bag? Confused.

Feelingood · 01/01/2013 20:22

Omg didn't realise it meant that when I read it. For some reasons I read it as he would be tossed out, as in kicked out if became a thief.

It wasn't until I read first post....it is disgusting utterly, and you are right to feel defensive (?) for your brother.

I wondered why you had to get someone to watch your post if you were at their house or have I assumed that wrongly?

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 20:23

VivienneMary- I was at my mums and I didn't know everyone there and I'm a bit overprotective I accept so I got him to watch it.

JustFabulous- It was just an off the cuff remark

OP posts:
SledYuleCated · 01/01/2013 20:23

A rape joke about a child from a step-parent? Nasty, and quite Sad for the child too to have something like that said about them.

digerd · 01/01/2013 20:24

So long as your 14 year-old DB laughed as well, and didn't bother him, just forget it.

Pagwatch · 01/01/2013 20:25

The whole scenario is weird tbh.

I take my bag to the loo. Making jokes about my bother nicking my purse wouldn't cross my mind. Jokes about prison rape re a 14 year old are bloody weird.

All very strange.

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