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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is an atrocious thing to say and not funny in anyway

103 replies

uiler · 01/01/2013 20:02

We were at a New Years Eve Party last night at my mum and her partners. I went to the toilet and asked my brother to watch my bag for me. About 20 minutes later I needed to get some money from my purse that I owed someelse there. I couldn't find it in my bag (I'd left it in the car). When I realised where it was I joked with me brother about my relief that he hadn't stolen it. My mums partner then interjected and said " (my brothers name) wouldn't have taken it, could you imagine if he got done for stealing and sent to prison he'd be tossed about in the showers like a dog toy" Shock . Some of his friends then burst into hysterics at this and mum said "you are one you aren't you".

When I told DH about this he said its not funny but after a few drinks some people say things they shouldn't. My brother is only 14 and I think no matter what saying such a thing about your partner's son is totally unacceptable.

OP posts:
SantasENormaSnob · 01/01/2013 20:27

Brother is 14? Shock

That's sick.

Bad enough saying it about an adult but twisted to say it about a teen.

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 01/01/2013 20:29

Strange and inappropriate but maybe he too thought it was an off the cuff joke like you did. Your comments sound a bit weird too TBH.

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 20:38

Pagwatch- When I said it, it was firmly tongue in cheek.

OP posts:
ReinDearPrudence · 01/01/2013 20:41

No, it's not funny at all. Given the age of the child involved, it's disgusting.

Kalisi · 01/01/2013 20:43

It's not funny and makes him sound like a bit of a dick but I would definately be over it by now. I don't think it's a big deal just a drunk inappropriate comment. Would have made me cringe at the time though.

GrumpySod · 01/01/2013 20:48

It's crude, but to be honest if it wasn't said in front of the boy, I might well laugh at it too (so shoot me). The only part that would bother me was saying that around the lad himself (because of his youth).

Pagwatch · 01/01/2013 20:50

Ok. I am not doubting you.
I am just saying honestly that the whole situation is odd to me. I don't understand it.
I wouldn't expect someone to watch my bag at my mums home. If she trusts them then I do. If I didn't trust them I would take my bag. I wouldn't joke about my brother nicking my purse because it wouldn't be on my radar iyswim. And I don't know any males who would make prison rape jokes about a boy of 14. But if he couldn't hear and people were a bit pissed...

So it is just all out of my frame of reference. I am not accusing you of anything. It's just all odd to me.

KenLeeeeeeeInnaSantaHat · 01/01/2013 20:53

Massively age-inappropriate. I loathe rape jokes anyway but that's the sort of thing I would shrug off and fume about silently if said about an adult unless I'd had a few and felt brave enough to point out how vile it is. Said about a 14 year old boy, it is frankly disgusting.

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 20:53

He said it in front of him

OP posts:
StanleyLambchop · 01/01/2013 21:09

How did yout DBro react? Was he bothered by it?

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 21:11

He didn't say anything but he is the shy, quiet type

OP posts:
rutile · 01/01/2013 21:40

YANBU I would have had some very strong words if I'd been in your position. What he said was absolutely disgusting.

Floggingmolly · 01/01/2013 21:51

Vile and very inappropriate. Your mum laughed?? Sad

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 21:59

Floggingmolly- Yeah

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 01/01/2013 22:04

It is not funny, at all.
The fact that it was said about a 14yr old boy is very inappropriate and quite disturbing, the fact that your mother found it funny is even more so.

How could anyone find a joke about a young boy being sexually assaulted funny!?!

trapclap · 01/01/2013 22:05

Really really fucking horrible/not funny/inappropriate Angry

I would have shredded him then and there. Didn't you say anything about what a hideous wankers he was??

MrsDeVere · 01/01/2013 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trapclap · 01/01/2013 22:08

Are you going to talk to your mum?

Are you going to talk to your brother? How long had your mum been with her wanker? What does your brother think of him? How is relationship between brother and wanker generally?

YourHandInMyHand · 01/01/2013 22:12

Yuk. What a vile thing to say, even more so knowing it was made about a 14 year old who was there to hear it!

Original poster
uiler · 01/01/2013 22:13

trapclap- I didn't say anything at the time, I was quite taken aback and he did raise a guffaw from some of his friends. I have been think ing it about all day hence the AIBU so I think I will say something.

OP posts:
Inertia · 01/01/2013 22:17

What a horrendous thing to joke about , especially with regard to a child. It's not funny, and your poor brother probably felt humiliated. Grown men laughing at the possible assault of a child? What a bunch of horrible characters. Why did nobody stand up to this man's comments?

I hope your brother doesn't have to live with this. Doesn't sound as though his mother is any use. Please check that your brother isn't having to cope with other inappropriate behaviour from this man.

flippinada · 01/01/2013 22:31

Horrible, inappropriate and not at all funny. Does your SD have form for this kind of thing?

Imagine the sexes were reversed and it was stepdad joking about his stepdaughter being raped.

Hope your brother is ok.

sparkleyangel · 01/01/2013 22:35

People can make inappropriate/vile/disgusting and just plain wrong remarks on all fronts whilst drunk.
I would have thought that what would stick in your 14yr old brothers mind more than anything was that his sister joked with him that she was relieved he hadn't stolen it. What a horrible thing to say.

AnaisB · 01/01/2013 22:40

That's horribly inappropriate.

peanutMD · 01/01/2013 22:48

I was expecting something absolutely pearl.clutchingly offensive but what I've found is something far milder than half the stuff I have said to my brother and the other way round which my mum has joined in with.

But then again we have a rather disturbing sense of humour apparently.