To wonder if/why SIL takes this medication....(could be long)

[BabylonElf]

MIL told me and DH today that SIL has been taking methotrexate chemotherapy tablets for her psoriasis for about 7 years and this is why her immune system is fucked.

SIL is well known for being a total drama queen at the best of times, and if she has contact with one of DCs who has a little sniffle, then SIL will almost definitely contract full blown pneumonia and need to go to hospital, and be signed off work for at least 4 weeks. She works in a shop, and MIL is adamant that she is far too ill to be at work at all.

Every illness going, SIL develops, only with more/worse symptoms than anyone else.

For quite some time now, DH and I have been a bit about how ill she actually is, and find it all a bit unbelievable tbh.

I googled the methotrexate and Wikipedia told me that one of the most common side effects of it is very dry skin and a sore rash - which sounds a bit like psoriasis to me

It also may be relevant to point out here that until recently she worked in a school where she would have come into contact with lots of sick children.

I'm asking here as I know how much traffic goes through here, it's not really an AIBU, more looking for clarification I think......

There's a big back history with SIL, so I can't ask her directly.......

So what do you think??

Well, me personally, I am on a cocktail of drugs and will be for the remainder of my life. I also have to have regular injections for the remainder of my life. 2 of my meds say avoid alcohol on them, but all it really does is make you more drowsy or some other effect, but just a bit more drowsy for me so I am guilty of the odd drink here or there. I can also look ok 8 times out of 10, and the only ones who know the truth about my health are my DP, DM, and my very close friend. I have asked them to keep it to themselves, as it makes me feel like my body is a huge failure and I don't want to be pitied. I got fed up of being told I was only young and awww poor you, you shouldn't have to live like that, and so on when I was suffering with minor problems. Drove me crazy. Could be the case for your SIL too.

What I have realised, and advise personally, is if you don't know anything/much about something, don't just assume and jump to conclusions as you could be very, very wrong. Always do your research first.

And I highly doubt she is lying about it. If she is hospitalized when ill, hardly like she can get the professionals to lie to her family about it.

Why would you expect to know about blood tests, doctors appointments etc. I (like DRCRabs son) have had Systemic (Now RA) since I was 4. I have gone from daily appointments to weekly monthly appointments plus bloods, physio, hydro etc. I have been with my DP for 14 years, I am very close to my soon to be MIL and I would NEVER tell her my business, never mind that I go to doctors appointments or what meds I am on. So why would you expect to know?

Maybe the MIL didnt know about the dangers of MTX and chickenpox. I didnt know till my son got it and I was quarrantined for my safety. And I was on the stuff 4 years at the time!

Colleysmill - thanks for asking after him. He seems v well. Doing v well at school and otherwise. We were recently in London for winter wonderland and he did 50min of ice skating and thoroughly enjoyed it!

If anything this thread has brought an insight into why my bil and sil (even though she's a nurse) seem to be v ignorant about his illness and get uppity about why we don't visit etc. and have not expressed any concerns or anything about him. (Whole different thread!)

DrCrab did you ever hear "But you dont look sick?!"

Story of my life!!!

Hi marceline! You may have responded on a thread I started about 6 months back on sjia. Rhuemy thinks he may be in remission. I am praying hard that he will be. Still early days as he'll have to be on this for a year. Did you ever go into remission? Didn't know we had to quarantine for cp! Grr. Thankfully we all have had cp now so at least we won't catch it off anyone else. That's the hope!

Elf - sorry for this hijack!

Hijack away, it is all useful to me :)

I used to suffer from gutatte psoriasis and on my birthday last year, ended up a sobbing wreck after showering off some of the skin on both of my armpits. After that I did a huge amount of research and cut out sls and sles (sodium laurel sulphate and sodium laureth sulphate). You will find it in almost everything that foams it is even in aqueous cream!!!!! I now make my own soap, shampoo and body butter. Three weeks after starting to use the body butter my psoriasis had gone completely. Please pm me if you would like to know my recipes.

Oh yes. Everyone can't believe he's got it. Even the local paed whose research interest is RA didn't want to see us. We somehow got a letter through a few months back saying we've got an app with the local guy in January. I wonder what he'll have to say.

I have possibly about 25 sets of parents who will somehow find out eventually. I don't particularly want to tell them. Not because its a big secret but more because these parents seem to be more interested in gathering and chatting. I work ft. I have no time to chat about stuff like this to people who I hardly know!! (Another thread!!)

I knew someone who worked at a school on this drug

The risk assessment was this: there are clear guidence to parents and staff from HPA about what conditions, illness require time away from school and in addition to these good hygiene measures and swift action once any conditions are identified is enough to keep the member of staff safe.

Sounds to me like you are looking for reasons for her to be putting it on... this drug and the condition requires a significant amount of monitoring so I doubt very much it a put on...
Hair loss is ONE side effect they MIGHT have out many, many side effects this drug might cause.

As for the chicken pox issue... I would not expect to find out half way through xmas dinner that there was active chicken pox in the house - I would expect a phone call the day before to be informed so I could make a decision as to whether I come or not. I might be pregnant and not want to announce, I might not want my child to catch it, I might be immuno-suppressed and not want everyone to know and judge

As for MIL - she might have thought that because SIL had had chicken pox in the past she was immune - however this is NOT the case when you are on this particular drug.

Why dont you cut contact with her - looks like you want a reason.

I might have Dr Crab, your son is doing great! It took me a long time to get to where I am now. I have been in remission a few times. However I help run support groups and know lots of kids who "grew out" of SJIA. Actually I was diagnosed at the same time as a distant cousin, we both had physio together. She went into remission at about age 7 and has never suffered since. So lots of good positive stories there!

I took it for 10 years for psioritic arthropathy - yep her psoriasis can turn into a form of arthritis.

I just could not cope with the side effects every week.

YABVVU

it's not a nice, just take a pill, drug, it knocks down your immune system so you have to write off at least one day a week as you will be a zombie and quite probably a vomiting zombie.

I would not expect to find out half way through xmas dinner that there was active chicken pox in the house Two weeks after the last blister cleared up is NOT active CP.

And the OP wasn't asking if she would be on this drug if you read the whole thread, more asking if this could be another example of her SIL crying wolf given that she has form.

As this is a woman who has been to Minor Injuries after a graze, dont you think that is it very possible that she found out about this condition and this drug through her work with sick children?

The OP's DH has virtually cut of her and his mother due to the toxic enviroment, dont you think that she might just be making it up?

Wow, what a very unpleasant post. I have psoriatic arthritis, as well as psoriasis. Methotrexate is one of the first line disease modifiers prescribed for sufferers. As everyone here has said, it is an auto immune disease and therefore serious, otherwise you would not be prescribed drugs with potentially life threatening side effects. I see you googled methotrexate, but not psoriasis or it's friends, psoriatic arthritis. Most people diagnosed with one auto immune condition have several others but it often takes a while to diagnose them, or alternatively, they join in the fun stealth wise. Your sister in law probably feels exhausted much of the time, and if on methotrexate, is at risk of pneumonia as complication from a common cold as the risk of chest infection is high. She would be eligible to be registered disabled as a result of her diagnosis. Get over yourself, and be thankful you don't have this disabling condition

Same here...we have a phone call from school within minutes of a parent phoning/emailing to say their LO has chick pox or any other serious illness that might affect our DD(7). I then pick take DD to a hospital over 30 miles away to have bloods and check immunity...this happens on a monthly basis.

Thanks for this thread OP, I never realised how serious psoriasis could be and know a lot more about it now.

As another PsA sufferer, I just want to say hi to everyone who understands :)

I'm waiting to see the dermatologist and rheumatologist, my GP wont prescribe MTX himself, he will only refer, because OP, it is such a hardcore horrible drug.
So atm, I'm just on NSAIDs and in pain all day, every day.

At the mo I am intentionally waiting until I have seen the rheum before submitting my DLA claim, so I have more supporting documentation

Based on the OP, I was ready to rip you a new one but I can see now that you're taking your pasting on board!

Oh one other thing that I cant see anyone else has mentioned. My psoriasis has also caused me to start losing my hair, so I now wear wigs. Its quite a bitch for "a little bit of dry skin"

Thanks for all the posts, even the ones ripping me to shreds

As stated in op, it was never an AIBU, but seeking information which I have received in abundance!

I don't want to cut SIL off as someone suggested, but I would like to be able to offer her some support.

I am so angry about this OP. I have RA and have been on methotrexate for eyars. I alsio work in a school because this is what I was training to do when I was diagnosed. Why should I have to give up another of my dreams to this fucking horrible disease? In school I obsessively wash my hands, keep the windows open all the time and try never to touch my face / mouth to try to minimise illness. When I get ill I tend to be seriously ill. I lost a lot of hair for over a year because of MTX and I feel sick for three days a week after I take it. I have to have blood tests every 4 weeks and am constantly having to go to hospital because my white blood count drops so low. MTX is a horrible horrible drug but unfortunately for me my disease is more horrible so this is the way my life has to be. Have some sympathy and consideration for your SIL please.

Well, done OP for taking the slating in such good grace. Glad you've been educated. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sjogren's Syndrome. I take 2 immunosuppressant drugs (one is methotrexate) and very few members of my family understand. They say "it's only a common cold" and then snot all over me. That 'common cold' will end up being a chest infection for me.

Bogey, the OP has said how she is hospitalized and gets things worse. Do you really think she could hide the truth from her husband and mother, especially as they would be in hospital with her supporting/visiting her?

The SIL may be known for being a drama queen, but she couldn't lie about having this condition, and the medication she is on for it.

YABVFU, my grandad had the same thing, without medication he could barely move without agony; he took a similar kind of medication and he was the same with colds/coughs etc. You are extremely immunosypressed. Fuck me, I remember he had to go and stay with relatives when my mum had chicken pox and her sister caught flu-it was that much of a worry. Luckily, his family were sympathetic and knowledgeable. Sadly, his first medication was years ago and had a nastier side effect-it gave him leukemia, which he died of when my mum was 9.

Suggest you get a clue. Would you think the same of someone who has AIDS or another autoimmune disease?

I get you are feeling frustrated and annoyed, most likely because more is put on you and yes your SIL may well be paranoid and OTT in your eyes, but walk a mile in her shoes-would you not be? The fact she's sighed off work and in hospital really should have clued you in.

'DrCrab did you ever hear "But you dont look sick?!"'

Heh, all the time- people don't realise that actually my autoimmune disease is much more serious because it affects my internal organs. I look well on the outside - but then people don't see the amount of meds I have to take or the amount of sleep and rest I need. I also work with children- because this disease has taken so much from me I'm fucked if it's taking my job as well

And as for being a 'drama queen'- my symptoms can range all over my body- from joint pain, skin rashes, swollen limbs, inability to digest food to lung fibrosis. And one of my 'friends' said to me 'Oh you've always got SOMETHING wrong with you'...... Nice.

Seen you've accepted YABU, not the best place for information here OP-suggest you try another topic- health etc OR google for forums dedicated to those suffering from psoriasis, relatives of people there may be able to suggest it.

Must not drunk post. Sorry OP :'(

Ok feeling like screaming now.

Why don't people read the whole thread before posting???

I wanted the info quickly, AIBU has the highest volume of traffic.

For those of you saying "how could SIL be lying etc" answer is easily. She lives alone, has no do DH or DCs.
The hospital admissions she tells us about a week or so after. We don't ever get a call to say SIL is in hospital etc.

I DIDN'T KNOW SHE HAD PSORIASIS UNTIL YESTERDAY AND UNTIL I POSTED HERE, I NEVER KNEW IT WAS AN AUTO IMMUNE ILLNESS THAT WAS SO DEBILITATING.

aware I just shouted that, and thank you to all of those sufferers who have taken the time out to educate me on this. The shouting is intended for those who cannae be arsed to read the whole thread!!!