To wonder if/why SIL takes this medication....(could be long)

[BabylonElf]

MIL told me and DH today that SIL has been taking methotrexate chemotherapy tablets for her psoriasis for about 7 years and this is why her immune system is fucked.

SIL is well known for being a total drama queen at the best of times, and if she has contact with one of DCs who has a little sniffle, then SIL will almost definitely contract full blown pneumonia and need to go to hospital, and be signed off work for at least 4 weeks. She works in a shop, and MIL is adamant that she is far too ill to be at work at all.

Every illness going, SIL develops, only with more/worse symptoms than anyone else.

For quite some time now, DH and I have been a bit about how ill she actually is, and find it all a bit unbelievable tbh.

I googled the methotrexate and Wikipedia told me that one of the most common side effects of it is very dry skin and a sore rash - which sounds a bit like psoriasis to me

It also may be relevant to point out here that until recently she worked in a school where she would have come into contact with lots of sick children.

I'm asking here as I know how much traffic goes through here, it's not really an AIBU, more looking for clarification I think......

There's a big back history with SIL, so I can't ask her directly.......

So what do you think??

I am not sure who is worse your drama queen SIL or you and your DH the meaneys.

My pick is you and your DH. Get some sympathy pills will you.

Blardy hell, is it have a go at SIL week on MN?

YBAVU OP? MYOB and stop being so bloody nasty!

What a shame, it seems like you haven't got the response you hoped for, how will you ever manage to slag her off and call her a liar now you know she is telling the truth?

YABU, and you should probably just mind your own business.

Every illness going, SIL develops, only with more/worse symptoms than anyone else.

That is what happens when you haven't got a fully functioning immune system that clicks in straight away.

At first i use to turn up to the houses of family members who used to role their eyes because i asked why they had not told me that they had a chest infection etc, before i got there, until i was hospitalised a few times, because my lung function dropped enough to need oxygen, then they got the message.

. what is it with Xmas and slagging off random family members (usually MIL or SIL) on MN this week?

Right well they say every day is a school day.

My knowledge of psoriasis is obviously very small, and I'm very fortunate to never have suffered with it.

I had no idea it was so debilitating, and until today, we didn't know that this is what SIL suffers with. We have been told so many things over the last few years about her ailments, yet when we see her, she always seems fine.

I'm not a nasty person, nor am I fucking ignorant, I asked a question in a place where there is a high volume of traffic, and I am fully open to making apologies where I need to and standing corrected.

I sincerely apologise if I have offended anyone, I googled methotrexate chemotherapy tablet on the way home from MILs, I didn't google for methotrexate for psoriasis, but I will.

I suppose DH and I were sceptical that this is actually true at all, as MIL has a tendency to exaggerate and seek sympathy. It does seem a bit odd to us, that she has been taking this medication for 7+ years, yet continued to work in a school where she would have come in to contact with lots of germs through the children, and with a low immune system, this wouldn't be good for her?

I'm not quibbling that her job is hard now, she works in a shop, that's all I know.

If I were to ask her myself, she'd likely have a fit of histrionics, accuse us of not believing her, shout obscenities at us, and try and involve the police somehow.

The backstory is that DH was estranged from her for years and years, and it was only when FIL passed away 6.5years ago that they spoke for the first time in 20 years. But they'll never be close, and because I never spoke to her either for the first 7 years DH and I were together because I never bloody met her then we never got off on the right foot :(

Babylon - I know people who have been very ill work in schools - they have to be off if say chicken pox is doing the rounds.

I never knew Psoriasis could be so bad . Learning curve reading this thread.

And I'm happy to apologise and stand corrected.

I reiterate that I posted here because of the high traffic, and I'm very pleased I now have more knowledge.

It would be quite nice to have something supportive to offer SIL other than a and a huge part of me wonders why this has never been mentioned to us before.

I didn't come here to look for validation that slagging SIL off is ok, OP does say that this isn't really an AIBU, but more of an information seeking/clarification wanted post.

I knew there would be posters with first hand experience of this drug. You have offered up the information and clarification I was seeking.
Yes I am capable of googling, however as I have proved, google is not always as correct as it could be.

Once again, I apologise to anyone I have offended, and I shall now, along with DH do my utmost to offer some support to SIL as and when necessary. I certainly shall not look lightly upon visiting them when my DCs are poorly. We have visited today and seen MIL, SIL was out. DS1 has a snotty nose and runny eyes, and I did tell MIL this on entering the house. She said it was fine.

Why would it be mention if you aren't even close to her? Sorry but if I were her, I would avoid talking about my medical history to my brother who've been estranged from me for over 20 years.

You could have asked MIL years ago when she started being hospitalized multiple times after catching your children's colds. Maybe you and your DH were happy to have an image of her being a drama queen instead of actually getting to know a bit about her illness.

I'm slightly bemused that you had to quickly google on the way home from MIL's, then posted here before doing a bit more research...

SIL may 'seem fine' because she doesn't want to discuss her health with other people (especially if her mother is prone to exaggeration). I get on with my in-laws, but they don't need to know the full details of my arthritis and how bad I feel when it flares up.

MrsD I get that now, and rightly so she is anxious.

As I said upthread, I knew very very little about psoriasis until I started this thread, and I didn't know SIL suffered with it until today.

I am happy to stand corrected on every negative point I have made and apologise profusely to anyone I have offended.

I did not know it was so debilitating, nor that it was an auto-immune condition. Until an hour or so ago,I thought it was just a skin condition. :(

I have RA and take MTX, first in tablet, now as injection. As much as your SIL is a drama queen and I am sure you have a back story and are not just being hospital, I doubt she wouldnt want the hair loss, the excruiciating stomach pains, the lack of appetite and a million and one side effects I have had. MTX is not just proscribed. I had to be lectured by several doctors and I see a specialist nurse every month for bloods.

Dont be so quick to judge. And unless it affects you, mind your own...

I think
...you should read the posts on here
...you should rearrange your thoughts and presumptions about SiL
...you should make an apology in the form of being a little more considerate and less bitchy

I have also taken methotrexate for inflammatory arthritis, but I could only tolerate it for three months as it made me very sick and my hair fell out. I'm now on another injectable immunosuppressant medication for it. I work in a school I maybe be a bit paranoid about washing hands, but I still have a life to live and I love my job and refuse to let my illness take over. Good luck to your sister in law.

Sorry OP - I was not calling you fucking ignorant! As I said I grew hearing people make audible comments about my parents. I was talking about them not you.

Every day is a school day indeed.

I apologise if I've come on a bit strong,it's just a subject I find quite emotive because like you,many people don't realise how bad it can be.

And then there are the people who stare and make loud comments.

The former is fixable,the latter unforgivable.

As you have said though,there is history with your SIL which probably affected the tone of your OP. I don't think you are a bad person.

Oh and my immune system is horribly impaired but I have to work. She isnt contaigous..

*parent not parents.

OP - I can appreciate that this has all been a revelation for you and retract my last comment. I guess it's difficult to empathise with SiL if you didn't know this, but it's not compulsory to share your personal ills with everyone.

It must be really difficult feeling ill and vulnerable so i imagine she can come over as a 'drama queen' and not knowing she had good reason you've filled in the blanks. I'm sorry I was so harsh in my post

Bit if an unfair spanking you've got there op, but at least it's been an informative one!

Fwiw, I've very mild psoriasis, patches of which I haven't been able to shift for getting on for ten years now (although I am quick to give up treatments - because it is mild and to me just requires careful clothing and the will power not to rip a top layer of skin off!).

I'm aware of psoriatic arthritis, but admit in your shoes I probably would have raised an eyebrow. Admittedly through ignorance it would seem.

I don't understand - do you disbelieve she is taking this drug?

Do you disbelieve that she becomes unwell and ends up in hospital?

I know from experience that this drug is used for auto immune conditions. It suppresses your immune system terribly so she would get very ill if exposed to colds etc.

I will have to take this drug at some point in the future, however according to our delightful government I am fit to work and so will have to work. I also look 'fine' when in fact I have an inflammatory disorder that needs to be medicated.

Every illness going, SIL develops, only with more/worse symptoms than anyone else.

And yes, this happens to me, and yes, no one takes it seriously apart from my mother, husband and my children which have to put up with me being very unwell. I have been accused of being a 'benefit cheat' despite not actually receiving any, of lying, of being a skiver, work shy - the list is endless. It's horrid and offensive. For some reason I am expected to justify my ill health to healthy people time and time again.