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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if/why SIL takes this medication....(could be long)

141 replies

BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 21:43

MIL told me and DH today that SIL has been taking methotrexate chemotherapy tablets for her psoriasis for about 7 years and this is why her immune system is fucked.

SIL is well known for being a total drama queen at the best of times, and if she has contact with one of DCs who has a little sniffle, then SIL will almost definitely contract full blown pneumonia and need to go to hospital, and be signed off work for at least 4 weeks. She works in a shop, and MIL is adamant that she is far too ill to be at work at all.

Every illness going, SIL develops, only with more/worse symptoms than anyone else.

For quite some time now, DH and I have been a bit Hmm about how ill she actually is, and find it all a bit unbelievable tbh.

I googled the methotrexate and Wikipedia told me that one of the most common side effects of it is very dry skin and a sore rash - which sounds a bit like psoriasis to me Confused

It also may be relevant to point out here that until recently she worked in a school where she would have come into contact with lots of sick children.

I'm asking here as I know how much traffic goes through here, it's not really an AIBU, more looking for clarification I think......

There's a big back history with SIL, so I can't ask her directly.......

So what do you think??

OP posts:
Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:22

I understand that Mullypeep and that is one of the other reasons we have never questioned what we've been told over the years.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 28/12/2012 23:25

I don't see anything wrong with OP googling it en route home. She and DH were curious. One or both have smartphones. It's not as though good is hard to access!

I google things I am curious about all the time!

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/12/2012 23:25

*google

CajaDeLaMemoria · 28/12/2012 23:27

If she's taken them for 7 years, it's quite possible that she drinks with them.

I take a cocktail of medications, all of which advise avoiding alcohol. I'll never be off them, so I have learnt my limits and I will occasionally drink wine/vodka. Other people with my condition/medications drink much more regularly. It's an advisory.

I do apologise for jumping at you a bit. This is one of those issues that gets your back up. I have boxes of medication, hundreds of doctors appointments, visible patches and scars, plenty of consultants...and some members of my DPs family still believe I'm making it up. It is deeply painful.

colleysmill · 28/12/2012 23:28

Perfectly legitimate medication to take for severe psoriasis under consultant care - have taken it myself for the same reasons although ciclosporin (another immuno supressent) is my particular drug of choice.

People often underestimate the psychological effects of skin conditions that fail to respond to conventional treatments. I am like a walking cornflake packet leaving trails of white crust in my wake - very distressing to wake up in a bed that constantly needs vaccing and leaving a thick shower of white everywhere you sit.

I have taken these for the best part of 10 years because my options are so few but fortunately I.have remained fairly healthy (touch wood)

Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:31

Don't apologise for jumping at me Caja - you've every right to as far as I'm concerned.

If after tonight's conversation, I learn to be a little less judgey, then that can only be a good thing yes?

I came here to get the knowledge, and get it I did!!

I've grown quite a thick skin since joining mumsnet, and can cope with being jumped if I need it!!

I'm sorry your relationship with dps family isn't better, or less strained. I imagine its awkward at times :(

OP posts:
Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:35

Thanks colleysmill for sharing.

I can't say I have noticed SIL losing skin like you suggest, but then I expect it differs person to person?
SIL also has very thick lustrous hair which looks much thicker and healthier than my post pregnancy mop so I don't think she is suffering hair loss as a side effect of the drug.

OP posts:
colleysmill · 28/12/2012 23:37

I think the advice on alcohol may have changed on methatrexate - when I took it it was absolutely banned ( partly why I prefered ciclosporin in my youth but I find it works better tbh) but people do seem to drink whilst on it.

Pregnancy is still an absolute no on methatrexate I think although ok with ciclosporin

EllieQ · 28/12/2012 23:37

Alis, I read it as 'I need to check this as I just don't believe it!' when the OP first mentioned it. She has since explained that this wasn't the case. Also I assumed the OP lived near MIL (don't know why!) - it makes more sense now she's said it was a long drive!

HKat · 28/12/2012 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HKat · 28/12/2012 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 28/12/2012 23:44

HKat I think that the OP was pondering whether the SIL has actually been prescribed it or whether this another "cry wolf".

IamtheZombie · 28/12/2012 23:45

HKat, please read the rest of the thread...

drcrab · 28/12/2012 23:48

My 4 year old DS is taking methotrexate for his systemic juvenile arthritis. He still goes to school and touch wood has not had any major illness. He looks v well, does pe, swims, does gym. Scoots to school practically every day.

But he was vvvvv poorly before his diagnosis. He lost 20% of his body weight and was crying, tired (sleeping for 14 hr a day) and v listless. This drug has helped so much but I was v reluctant to start him on it; obviously no choice.

He has monthly blood tests (he was having them weekly). Some of the parents of his close friends know about it. Obviously school knows. But not everyone.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:48

iamthezombie
You took the words right out of my mouth!!

Sorry hkat but I think you may have missed a bit :)

OP posts:
colleysmill · 28/12/2012 23:50

When mine is bad it flakes off in big pieces, sometimes about the size of a fifty pence. And I'm covered from head to toe, including places you wouldnt think of - the worst is inside your ear as its impossible to scratch, soles of the feet, nose, armpits - pretty much everywhere tbh!

If she's taking meds it won't look bad at all (cause that's the point of them! :) ) If you looked at me you wouldn't believe it, stop my meds and its back within 2 weeks in patches and with a vengeance by a month.

Nothing is more depressing than when you try to clean and every movement you make makes it worse than when you started.

The meds have completely changed my life they are wonderful!

Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:50

drcab I'm so sorry, that sounds awful for your ds, yet also like it is helping him too.

Very admirable attitude for one so young :)

OP posts:
drcrab · 28/12/2012 23:52

Sorry my point was that because v few adults in his life know, new people who find out (say parents of new friends) are always v shocked because he looks so well. Ironically at a recent gathering a mum was saying something along the lines of 'oh thank god school term is ending and none of my kids have had any major viruses etc'. And I muttered something like 'well if anyone should get anything it'll be DS as his immunity is shot' and then had quizzical looks...

drcrab · 28/12/2012 23:54

Yes elf it's admirable! Smile His father and I were most pleased when he resumed his usual 4 year old pita behaviour...! Grin

Original poster
BabylonElf · 28/12/2012 23:54

drcab if someone at ds' school got a contagious nasty illness, would you expect they inform you?
Or if chickenpox was doing the rounds?

OP posts:
drcrab · 29/12/2012 00:01

Yes I would expect they tell me. It's in his statement (we have special needs statement for health purposes).

Chickenpox - unfortunately he bloody developed this after getting chickenpox so cp is really not the flippin' childhood disease that people hold parties for!!! So I'm not worried if it does the rounds in terms of getting it again (that's what the rhuematologist from gosh tells me).

HipHopOpotomus · 29/12/2012 00:06

The lead character in The Singing Detective suffered from psoriasis - and the author Dennis Potter also suffered with it dreadfully.

Perhaps reading/watching the play will give you a little more insight into the condition (and possibly expand your horizons a little too).

megandraper · 29/12/2012 00:10

babylon - i do think that with chickenpox you have to be proactive about telling people, not expect them to ask if any of your DC are ill.

DS2 got chickenpox as a 9month old baby shortly before we went on holiday to a christening abroad. His spots had crusted over, and I checked with the doctor if it was okay to travel - he said yes, given we were driving not going by plane. But I checked with the family we were going to visit, and asked them to check with everyone else that would be present at the christening, and if it was a problem for anyone we would have stayed away.

colleysmill · 29/12/2012 00:12

It's quite interesting to read everyone's experiences.

I haven't noticed a particular change in my sickness rate on the metho or ciclo but when I took the new biologics drugs I averaged a course of antibiotics every 6 weeks for recurrent chest infections and insect bites (and they weren't particularly concerned!)

I have only ever taken them as an adult so I guess my old immune system had more time and opportunities and so be less vulnerable than a littlies would?

Hope your son is doing ok drcrab

Original poster
BabylonElf · 29/12/2012 00:14

bedhopper mil knew about the chickenpox - I still, to this day, don't know why she didn't tell SIL.

OP posts: