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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make this woman delete her video?

103 replies

lunar1 · 28/12/2012 18:39

I went out today to spend some vouchers my boys were given for christmas at build a bear workshop. Ds1&2 had their chosen bears and we were queuing for the stuffing machine.

OP posts:
tanukiton · 29/12/2012 12:24

um could it be she wasn't British? Could she just be taking photos of the local people? The reason i say this is i live in Asia and my 'children attract attention. My daughter now has a the most amazing monster face if someone asks for her photo.

If not she is a weirdo

MrsKeithRichards · 29/12/2012 12:36

yanbu it's odd behaviour.

Binfullofgibletsonthe26th · 29/12/2012 12:42

Yes Solesource they were in a build a bear workshop, so she could choose from a wide variety of colours and fabrics.

SunflowersSmile · 29/12/2012 12:49

I would think odd but probably would not have made a fuss.
My boys have been photographed by tourists [usually Japanese]a number of times [live in tourist city].
I just smile as clearly no offence intended.
Odd but not an issue op??

GrumpySod · 29/12/2012 13:17

yabu. Folk used to film anything they thought was cute. What in the world was she going to do with this imagery that might harm you & yours?

lunar1 · 29/12/2012 13:29

Solesourse, the colour comment was in reply to the post about sending the video to grandparents if hers were misbehaving. I was joking that they were not remotely similar. My boys are mixed race and have much darker skin than hers, and one of hers is a girl.

Im pretty sure she was a local judging by the accent.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 29/12/2012 13:32

Love your name Grumpy, I never said she meant us harm, i wanted to know if IWBU to think she was a weirdo and if i was right to ask her to delete the vid.

OP posts:
ComposHat · 29/12/2012 13:43

I'd put it in the weird but not sinister category. But even still YANBU.

I've noticed that some (mostly older) people have very weird reactions to black/mixed race kids, almost treating them like dolls. My mum who has spent most of her life in an almost exclusively white ex mining town will say stuff like 'don't black babies look so lovely' like they were a toy or a novelty.

SoleSource · 29/12/2012 13:48

So sorry lunar. I was still asleep back then, read again, realised my.midtake whilst microwaving bbq ribs from last night for breakfast x

hermioneweasley · 29/12/2012 13:53

Definitely weird. I'm not surer would have had the balls to make a fuss, but I think you were well within your rights to. Who cares whether her intent was sinister or not?

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 29/12/2012 14:03

I'm with binful Doo, Doo, Doo, do do do, Doo, Doo Doo Doo.

shockers · 29/12/2012 14:29

I'm imagining the episode now.... nobody else notices the swap except the mother and everyone thinks she's going mad. When nobody is looking, the bears get a sinister glint in their eyes.......

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 29/12/2012 17:14

More bears start to appear... In suburban bedrooms, in urban lofts, in shops, in school dinner halls..

Icelollycraving · 29/12/2012 17:31

Loving the tales of the unexpected!!

FrostyWindMadeMoan · 29/12/2012 18:45

Oh for goodness sake. I'd shrug or maybe be flattered. I can't STAND this stranger danger stuff. Do you really , really truly need to be so on guard ? Against what EXACTLY ? What sinister purpose could ths woman have ? Really ?

FrostyWindMadeMoan · 29/12/2012 18:59
Wine
marcopront · 29/12/2012 19:08

My DD is mixed race white/black and we live in Asia. There are very few people who look anything like her here and regularly people take photos of her. If they ask we don't normally mind, but I do get annoyed if they don't. I always wonder how they explain these photos to other people.

oldpeculiar · 29/12/2012 19:22

Oh I see its because your DC are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute
Public premises can film whatever and whoever she likes.

ToomuchheuchatendofHogmanay · 30/12/2012 00:45

I don't think it's stranger danger so much frosty as just being rude for not checking first that it was ok. I have beautiful mixed race nephews and when I was visiting in Asia with them, lots of people would stop to admire, touch and take photos of them as they had a "lucky" face shape, but they would ASK first, not film without permission. I can see why the OP was uncomfortable.

tanukiton · 30/12/2012 01:31

waves to Marcopront. I am in Japan. Shh actually i find it a bit annoying from strangers and always say no! Hehe they don't expect that. The good point is on school sports day as I usually get some nice photos from people. Mainly as it is easy to identify her.

marcopront · 30/12/2012 04:43

Tanukiton
She is the best known child in the school. She is the only mixed race (b/w) child, there was one other Nigerian girl but she has just left and I am a teacher at the school, so it seems like everyone knows her. She can cope with it though.
I had a go at someone once and he just couldn't see it was him not asking that bothered me, not him taking the photo.

JessieMcJessie · 30/12/2012 07:51

How many millions of pics have you seen in tourist brochures, travel programmes, people's holiday snaps, of cute little Indian, Chinese, African, Peruvian etc etc kids photographed wandering round the streets/tourist sites? I can't imagine anyone asks their parents for permission (or shares the royalties). It's just something people do. Yes the woman was a bit weird bug unless you are going to go all Michael Jackson and put them in masks, things like this will happen now and again and there's no point making a fuss.

Enfyshedd · 30/12/2012 08:26

I think that this guide to photographers rights might apply in this case: www.digitalcameraworld.com/2012/04/14/photographers-rights-the-ultimate-guide/

Photographers Rights: Taking Pictures of People in Public

Are you breaking any law when you?re taking pictures of people in public? Probably not, but the position under UK law is uncertain.

There are currently no general privacy laws under UK law, but the UK courts must take into account the European Convention on Human Rights, which gives everyone the right to respect for their private and family life. As this is an area of law that has been developing rapidly over the last few years, it is hard to be certain what will constitute an infringement.

The key issue is whether the place the image is taken is one where a person would have a reasonable expectation of privacy. For example, it has been suggested that the right of privacy of a child could be infringed by publishing a photo of them with their parents in a public street.

It is therefore advisable to be careful when taking photos intended for publication, even where the subject matter is in a public place. Failure to obtain a model release for the use of an image will certainly make it harder to sell the picture to stock libraries.

Photographing children
The same laws apply to adult and child subjects, but a child does not have the legal capacity to consent and a parent or guardian must therefore do so on their behalf. Be aware that schools, leisure centres and places where children and adults gather usually have their own photography restrictions.

Although decent photos of children (see our tips for better pictures of babies, children and teenagers) taken in a public place may be fine for non-commercial use, seek permission from the child?s parents or guardians and don?t shoot covertly with a long lens. For commercial images, you?ll need to get a model release signed by the parents.

Enfyshedd · 30/12/2012 08:27

BTW, I think you WNBU - I would have gone spare.

SayMama · 30/12/2012 08:40

YANBU

Even if it was innocent, she doesn't know your circumstances. My friend has adopted a little girl. If she gets photographed by randoms it could get back to her birth family who are vile abusers. Very unlikely, but possible.

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