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AIBU?

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Original poster

Goddamn bloody Facebook announcements & goddamn bloody families

144 replies

discodolly · 27/12/2012 22:12

I'll keep this short and sweet....My nephew was born yesterday, no name or details given just a text from bro saying all well & he'll call. Didn't hear anything this morn so called at lunch, no answer, which is no bother as know how newborns are, so left a message asking name, weight, usual stuff, when ok to visit. Haven't heard a dicky bird all day, just logged onto fb to find an announcement with all the details inc pics. Am I or am I not being unreasonable to be absolutely fuming? And to top it off the babies name is virtually identical to my child? :+(

OP posts:
izzyhasanewchangeling · 27/12/2012 22:53

I texted about 4 people before I decided I couldnt cope with the responses so threw all the details on FB, where everyone I have on my list is actually a close friend or relative.

It was a way to share my joy with everyone who matters to me and record the responses for prosperity, Ill screen shot all the comments, and then put the whole lot into a photobook.

DoesntTurkeyNSproutSoupDragOn · 27/12/2012 22:54

Just would of been nice to be told such important news about a child who'll always be in my life before Dave from accounts!

You were. He told you the baby was born. You would have no idea whether any text with info on it was sent to you personally or to the world and his wife.

It's up to him how he announces the information - you had your chance to do it your way with your own child.

ILovePonyo · 27/12/2012 22:55

Thanks worra Grin

I think you're speaking for yourself there crazychristmaslady. I don't want to look popular on Facebook, I couldn't give a shit about looking popular.

I think op seems like she's forgetting how hard it can be for some new parents. Is it really the end of the world that she found out babies weight etc through Facebook?!

WorraLorraTurkey · 27/12/2012 22:58

pinkandred

If my posts don't sound very 'nice' to you I cant' help that.

But I do think the OP is being ridiculously unreasonable.

Any anyway, only her brother and SIL will know why they didn't ring her back.

DoesntTurkeyNSproutSoupDragOn · 27/12/2012 22:59

For my brother to put the pic of the baby on fb without his close family members meeting him first felt like I was being snubbed.

Really? Snubbed? Confused There is a world of difference to an inanimate picture and having a cuddle. Seeing a photo has no bearing on meeting a baby and being allowed to sniff their head. I would have thought "Oh, how gorgeous! Can't wait to meet him!" Not been all po faced and snubbed.

nancy75 · 27/12/2012 23:01

I agree with the op, she is his sister, I doubt he has so many siblings that he didn't have time to send her a quick text/ quick call before putting it on Facebook. And while i'm at it can we get over the word entitled? Expecting a member of your family to act like a member of your family is normal behaviour, not entitled.

chrismissymoomoomee · 27/12/2012 23:02

pinkandred the OPs brother did get in touch, he told her the most important detail - baby had arrived safe and well. Its merely the name and weight that she wasn't aware of before she read it on FB.

When I had my children I wrote a text and sent it out to everyone (I'm not on FB) what I did wasn't exactly personal either but I bet none of you would have an issue with that.

MsVestibule · 27/12/2012 23:03

There is nothing to be gained by being among the first to know, but I would be really pissed off if my siblings did this. A new baby in a family is really special, and if I found out that all and sundry knew the details before me, it would upset me. Surely the general order is parents, siblings/good friends, and then all and sundry?

And maybe the OP sounds snippy because she's upset! It doesn't mean she's always like that, as one or two have suggested.

FredFredGeorge · 27/12/2012 23:03

I shared the birth of my child on facebook - I did it because it was a quick way to get the information to people who would be interested that cost me no time - time that I was spending, getting stuff organised for a longer than minimal stay in hospital for my DP, spending some time with my new DD, catching up on some sleep after 48 hours without any etc. I wasn't that bothered about having the same conversation with each of my or my DP's relatives, it was a chore tbh.

Yes, some guy I met 5 years ago who became a facebook friend so he could access some photos of mine probably did hear about my DD's weight before DP's brother in a different timezone. But so what? That guy didn't care about it, he ignored it, the people who were interested read it. You seem to have an idea of facebook that is not how most people use it, and are judging it very strangely.

The birth of your nephew is not much to do with you... Stop thinking yourself special.

izzyhasanewchangeling · 27/12/2012 23:03

For my brother to put the pic of the baby on fb without his close family members meeting him first felt like I was being snubbed.

Really? Wow.

MammaTJ · 27/12/2012 23:04

YANBU, a text to his own sis would have been the right thing to do before FB!!

GentlyGentlyOhDear · 27/12/2012 23:04

YANBU
I left facebook after one of my DH's relatives announced my PFB's birth on there before I'd had chance to tell my family myself. I was so upset.
I posted about it on MN and there were a lot of 'get over yourself' responses. Bizarre how some people live their lives over the internet and get all defensive when other people don't.

PictureThis · 27/12/2012 23:07

YANBU, I would feel the same.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 27/12/2012 23:09

Personally I think very close family deserve a quick text or even a phonecall. Half the people on FB could probably wait. I'd probably be a bit pissed off finding out at the same time as some guy he used to sit beside in primary one and hasn't spoken to him since but feels obliged to have him as a FB friend.

I miss the times before FB, I really do. I had my children before FB was on the scene. My husband called my parents/brothe/his family/close friends/the people who matter and care. Didn't take him long at all.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 27/12/2012 23:09

Personally I think very close family deserve a quick text or even a phonecall. Half the people on FB could probably wait. I'd probably be a bit pissed off finding out at the same time as some guy he used to sit beside in primary one and hasn't spoken to him since but feels obliged to have him as a FB friend.

I miss the times before FB, I really do. I had my children before FB was on the scene. My husband called my parents/brothe/his family/close friends/the people who matter and care. Didn't take him long at all.

ILovePonyo · 27/12/2012 23:10

Gentlygently that's a different scenario.

Mamma she did have a text. He just put details like name and weight on Facebook.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/12/2012 23:14

If it has very little to do with the OP as some one said, then wtf has it got to do with anyone on fb either?

Why announce it at all?

Fakebook · 27/12/2012 23:19

Maybe I'm old fashioned in my thinking. As well as a few close friends and family I have ex work colleagues, old university friends and old school friends on fb. In the days before fb only close friends and family would have met the baby first. I think it's respectful to at least let your own bloody parents see the baby before sharing it with fb "friends".

FredFredGeorge · 27/12/2012 23:26

wannabedomesticgoddess If you don't think telling peope is required (which is what facebook is, it's not an announcement) - you certainly can't complain about not being told!

Fakebook We didn't let the grandparents visit for weeks after the birth (due to practicalities with travelling, if they could've come for an hour it would've been shorter) - we were expected to not tell anyone else before that? But again it's a strange idea of what facebook is - it's not an announcement, most people filter out all the irrelevant crap that they read which includes the birth of someone they have no interest in, both parties know that - it seems mostly people who despise facebook don't understand that.

CatchingMockingbirds · 27/12/2012 23:30

'what did everyone do before Facebook?

They'd send everyone generic texts with the birth announcements, and before texting became so popular they'd phone. Fb is just a popular way of sharing information, it's quick and easy (and when you've just had a new baby you want to scream it to the whole world so fb is quite appropriate :o). It will no doubt be replaced with another form of communication eventually, don't get so worked up about it.

Fakebook · 27/12/2012 23:32

Fred, I can understand grandparents not being told/shown the baby if they are far away but in my case, my dad lives 15 mins away from my brothers house and 5 mins from the hospital on foot. His immediate family was in the same city, yet he still posted a pic on fb first. I think that's rude.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/12/2012 23:36

You have completely missed my point FredFredGeorge.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 27/12/2012 23:36

So what about people who don't use FB or certainly don't live their whole lives through it? They miss out on hearing these announcements?

Tortington · 27/12/2012 23:39

i think facebook is a crap way of announcing.

its like announcing to the world before you tell your family - i mean there is an informal etiquette about these things even for commoners who use facebook to squeal about their every fart

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 27/12/2012 23:40

That fucking word entitled, the laziest, most dismissive word on MN. Wheel it out whenever you can't be bothered to form a decent argument.

I love Facebook, I've had an account for years and use it a lot. But if I announce anything on it, it's only after my nearest and dearest have been informed. If my brother or I did what the OP's brother did there'd be hell to pay and I'm glad of it.

These poor, feeble new parents managed perfectly well to inform family even 5 years ago without the aid of FB. Hell, DH managed to tell two sets of family with little fuss only this year. Amazing! As I shared a ward with 4 other women all with phones it's not asking for the moon that they might phone their family before telling a woman they worked with 8 years ago via FB.