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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Goddamn bloody Facebook announcements & goddamn bloody families

144 replies

discodolly · 27/12/2012 22:12

I'll keep this short and sweet....My nephew was born yesterday, no name or details given just a text from bro saying all well & he'll call. Didn't hear anything this morn so called at lunch, no answer, which is no bother as know how newborns are, so left a message asking name, weight, usual stuff, when ok to visit. Haven't heard a dicky bird all day, just logged onto fb to find an announcement with all the details inc pics. Am I or am I not being unreasonable to be absolutely fuming? And to top it off the babies name is virtually identical to my child? :+(

OP posts:
CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 27/12/2012 22:29

They have just had a baby. I'm sure you aren't top of their priority list right now! Maybe they figured that one FB announcement will get maximum coverage, and they can now get on with being parents to their lovely new baby, who is top of their priority list right now!
I think you are being selfish.

ILovePonyo · 27/12/2012 22:32

Why does it matter that you know before other people? What makes you more important?! Get over yourself op.

pinkandred · 27/12/2012 22:33

I think some people on here are being a bit hard on op. I suppose it depends on how close you are to your family aswell. Some people dont see their siblings and dont keep in regular touch, but personally I see my siblings regularly and there is no way I would do this. I think its very very rude tbh. But, like I say, it depends on how much you love facebook and how close you are to your relatives as to whether or not you think its acceptable.

Aspiemum2 · 27/12/2012 22:34

Yabvu, Facebook is awful. Lets face it, if you weren't on it then you'd never even have known about the announcement. Rid yourself of the evil, much happiness awaits Grin

Dereksmalls · 27/12/2012 22:34

YANBU, my friend asked me if I'd seen the interview with her DH on the telly, "no, you didn't tell me" I reply, "but I put it on Facebook" she says puzzled - FFS, I'm not even on FB, if you want me to engage with something then tell me about it.

WorraLorraTurkey · 27/12/2012 22:34

But no-one has said why they'd be annoyed if they were the OP.

What exactly do you gain by knowing your Nephew's called Dave and he weighs 7lb, before anyone else knows it? Confused

dizzydixies · 27/12/2012 22:35

The safe arrival of baby is all that matters. Congratulations on your new nephew. This is ALL THAT MATTERS (just in case you missed that the first time?)

Northernlebkuchen · 27/12/2012 22:35

I think that the OP is coming across as pretty snippy here - making it no surprise she isn't top of her bil's priority list!

CrazyChristmasLady · 27/12/2012 22:37

"Why does it matter that you know before other people? What makes you more important?! Get over yourself op. "

Just because this is AIBU, doesn't mean you need to be so bloody rude. The OP is the sister of the person she is talking about. I agree that some people should be told exciting news like this before the world finds out on bloody facebook.

Dereksmalls · 27/12/2012 22:37

And I would expect to be told something like that by my brother before "other people" (and was told), just as I would with him

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/12/2012 22:40

Facebook is a load of shit. Its impersonal and requires no thought.

OP is excited for her brother. If she was able to speak to him to find out the info she could convey this to him and share in his joy. A baby is a joy for the whole family.

Reading it on facebook is so anti climactic and dull.

And yes, having a newborn is hard work (DD2 is 6 weeks so its fresh in my mind) but seriously, what did people do before facebook?

Hassled · 27/12/2012 22:41

I don't think you're BU at all. If my DB had a child and I didn't find out the name/weight/details until the world and his dog had also seen them on FB, I'd be pretty fucking hacked off. Your sibling is not the same as the bloke you once played football with, or the girl you sat next to in maths 20 years ago. There are hierachies of information-needing here, and FB is not the medium to use until you've told the family/people who really give a shit.

Rhubarbgarden · 27/12/2012 22:41

YABU. Get over yourself and enjoy the happy news.

Wallison · 27/12/2012 22:42

If they hadn't contacted you at all, then it would be reasonable to be annoyed - it's kind of like the difference between sending Xmas cards/presents to people and just putting a 'happy xmas' generic message up on facebook to everyone. But he did prioritise you over the rest of his facebook contacts by texting you first. Ok, so he didn't reply to the text you sent him, but to be honest I got lots of texts I didn't reply to when my son was born - I felt like I'd done enough by sending them texts in the first place.

pinkandred · 27/12/2012 22:42

Worra, I think you're missing the point here. Obviously there is nothing really to be gained by who is the first to know the details. It isnt about where you are in the pecking order. Its just down to good old fashioned manners. Although as I said earlier, it really does depend on how close you are to your sibling, as I realise that some people are closer to their friends than their family.

I still wouldnt announce on fb though.

Original poster
discodolly · 27/12/2012 22:44

Thankyou crazychristmaslady. Just would of been nice to be told such important news about a child who'll always be in my life before Dave from accounts! My problem is obviously with Facebook & I'm not being snippy or whatever else people are saying. I'm just excited about the new baby.

OP posts:
ILovePonyo · 27/12/2012 22:44

If you missed my previous post crazychristmaslady, not everyone has random people/waynettas (as OP put it) on their Facebook. Some have close friends and family and that's it. So why is op acting like she's the most important person to find out about her brothers news?
Like other posters have said, first of all, baby is fine and healthy. That's what is most important.
Secondly, as another poster said, op is coming across as self entitled, why so? I remember having a newborn and being tired (to put it mildly) so maybe chill out about a Facebook status?!

ILovePonyo · 27/12/2012 22:46

Op doesn't sound excited for her brother she sounds upset for herself about being left out of news he chose to share with many people instead of just her Blush

WorraLorraTurkey · 27/12/2012 22:48

Just because this is AIBU, doesn't mean you need to be so bloody rude. The OP is the sister of the person she is talking about. I agree that some people should be told exciting news like this before the world finds out on bloody facebook.

Errm hello?? 'Waynes and Waynettas' sound rude much to you?

I don't care if she is the sister...she could be a total nightmare for all we know and the tired new parents might not have wanted to deal with her.

Thus making the FB option the easiest.

WorraLorraTurkey · 27/12/2012 22:49

Exactly Ponyo

Obviously we can only go on what the OP's written here but on that basis, I totally agree.

moomoomar · 27/12/2012 22:49

Yanbu, when my DN was born my sisters bf rang me to say they were both 5 mins from dying but they were over the worst and he would ring me when I was allowed to visit. I looked on FB the next day to see my sisters friends had visited and put pics of my DN on there. I was so upset. Not because I wasn't the first to visit but because I was told to wait for his call. It really is shit to see it all on FB!

CrazyChristmasLady · 27/12/2012 22:49

She isn't acting like she is the most important person at all, she is acting like a sister who wasn't told anything about her nephew by her brother and had to find out from a social networking site. I am sure she is excited but when my siblings have children I would be very disappointed to find out the details via facebook.

Most people do have facebook friends that are not people they regularly see or have anything to do with anymore. They like to look popular.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/12/2012 22:50

Aaaaah.

The term "entitled" is fucking me right off.

It is not unreasonable to expect a little more thought from a sibling than a
generic facebook status. Its not entitled to be hurt over this.

Fakebook · 27/12/2012 22:51

Discodolly, I know exactly how you feel. My brother and his wife didn't tell us anything about their child's birth, we were told not to come to the hospital (understandable) and then he went and posted a pic of him on Facebook before we'd even had a chance to meet him first. I think it's bloody rude. I find Facebook annoying as shit. I hardly ever use it. I always contact family and friends with this thing called a phone and by meeting face to face. For my brother to put the pic of the baby on fb without his close family members meeting him first felt like I was being snubbed. I know not everyone thinks like this, but I always make sure I share any good news with my family first, I'd expect them to do the same.

pinkandred · 27/12/2012 22:53

Agree with Crazy Christmas

Ponyo & Worra you seem to be looking for reasons as to why ops brother didnt get in touch. You may think op is BU but your posts arent very nice towards her. I dont think there is any need to be like this.