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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Yes I know IABU and ungrateful but need to vent

46 replies

GreatBallsofFluff · 27/12/2012 18:59

Big family Christmas, extended family as well. I put thought into the presents I bought everyone, trying to ensure that they would like them or use them. I came out with £140 worth of next vouchers.

To be fair I'll balance it up and say that I get up early to go to the Next sale every year, but thay's mainly to buy DD clothes as I love their children's clothes but not too keen on the adult clothes. I did go to the sale yesterday and spent £80 but most was spent on DD. I just wish I had one present that I could genuinely say "how thoughtful" for.

I have always felt the black sheep of the family

OP posts:
comedycentral · 27/12/2012 19:01

Maybe you are one of those people that are hard to buy for.

What sort of gift would you have liked?

whois · 27/12/2012 19:01

I've never been that keen on Next but popped in a few weeks ago and came out with 2x jumpers, 2x bras, a pair of slippers and 2x pair of pretty fflat shoes... So you might surprise yourself and enjoy the vouchers :)

JustFabulous · 27/12/2012 19:03

Is the amount not enough? Did you spend more? Or is it the fact it is vouchers plus vouchers for a shop you say you don't like to buy your clothes from? People will assume you are buying for yourself if you go to the sale each year.

ViperInTheManger · 27/12/2012 19:03

It is hard when you feel like this. I sympathise as ILs ask me each year if I would like something and, no matter what I tell them, I get a cheque.

If you can afford to I would pay for DDs stuff with the vouchers and refund yourself the money in your account that you would have spent on her otherwise to buy what you want.

Shellywelly1973 · 27/12/2012 19:05

I got a £100 of Next vouchers & i only ever buy clothes for dc from Next.

I didn't think anything of it,just presumed the people that gave them to me couldn't think of anything else to give me.

marjproops · 27/12/2012 19:07

I prefer vouchers any day, Im like Rachel from 'friends' if i get something iffy ill try and exchande them, not trying to sound ungrateful but if its people who know me and know my tastes theyd get me something appropriate wouldnt they?

And Im like you OP i get to know people and what they like and always put a lot of thought into gifts, but as Im financially strapped i really appreciate vouchers, especially supermarket ones, not romantic i know but practical.

a very kind friend sent me a tesco one for £50.00. it was like winning the lottery to me.

Original poster
GreatBallsofFluff · 27/12/2012 19:08

Comedy I guess I am hard to buy for, it's just that my two step-siblings bought some for me, my only full sibling bought some, my step-dad bought some and my mum, so basically my entire family (there is no one else). Not one person thought "rather than vouchers, what top would she like", or "hey i know she wants this dvd".

Whols thank you I definitely will look.

OP posts:
fatlazymummy · 27/12/2012 19:11

If you can't find anything for yourself in Next, then buy your children's clothes with the vouchers [in bigger sizes for next year even] and use the money you have saved in shops that you like for things for yourself. In effect you will be selling the vouchers to your kids and freeing up cash to spend on yourself.

Sanjifair · 27/12/2012 19:14

I think it was a thoughtful present. They know you get up early to go to the next sale every year. So they thought, she likes Next, lets get her Next vouchers.

That sounds thoughtful to me...they thought of something that you had mentioned you liked.

YABU

marjproops · 27/12/2012 19:16

speaking of which, someone gave me a debenhams voucher. dont know the amount but i never shop there so dont know why i got it.

anyone know if theyd give me the cash for it or another shops voucher in exchange?

simplesusan · 27/12/2012 19:17

I suppose if you tell everyone that you shop in the Next sales then they feel that buying you something at full price may be a waste of money iyswim?
Personally I appreciate well thought out, special gifts but not everyone thinks the same.
Buy your dcs something with it.
At least you have a large amount to spend I have a £20 gift voucher for Next and I don't shop there so am stuck with a fairly useless gift.

FromEsme · 27/12/2012 19:19

I really doubt it marjproops

Best bet is to ebay it, you can normally get something approaching the full value of it.

peaceandlovebunny · 27/12/2012 19:20

i hate present fascism. why would i know what other people want? why is it up to me to fucking guess? do your rellies a favour and tell them. don't make them guess. life is too short.

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas · 27/12/2012 19:22

You would have bought those for dd anyway so pay yourself back in cash and spend it!

thebody · 27/12/2012 19:26

Ok. I don't actually care a crap what people get me and am grateful for the usual smellies.

However I actually give no thought into families gifts( apart from kids) as think adults need to just be grateful and move on.

Seriously your vouchers sound lovely.. Christmas gifts are for kids.. For adults it's about time off work.

elizaregina · 27/12/2012 19:27

I was in Next later on Boxing Day and saw someone spending vouchers and I thought what a good present for someone who comes in to next on boxing day to get some bargins!

Isnt there a voucher exchange site somewhere >

redwellybluewelly · 27/12/2012 19:27

I'll swap your useful next vouchers for a herd of goats if you like?

AngryFeet · 27/12/2012 19:29

£140 in vouchers?! Fuck me I would be very happy with that!

I got £25 in Lakeland vouchers and was delirious ;)

Already spent them :)

lopsided · 27/12/2012 19:30

People are so weird on here about presents. My PILs got me chutney and sil socks. I'm not famed for my love of chutney.
You know what though, chutney is quite nice and socks are very useful.
Get a grip 140 quid of vouchers is very generous. They thought you'd like them as you go to the sale every year. Just save the rest and buy presents cards and gift-wrap. You can also spend online on home stuff and brands other than next.

Bananapickle · 27/12/2012 19:36

I've been in this position before and as I had already budgeted to spend the money in Next for my DD I used the vouchers and then spent the money I'd put aside on something else I wanted from another shop. YANBU, however, wanting people to put a little bit more thought into your present if vouchers aren't your thing.

Busyoldfool · 27/12/2012 19:40

I agree with many on here. The vouchers are thoughtful and they made sure that you had enough so that you weren't stuck with a present that you couldn't use unless you paid out some of your own cash.

peaceandlovebunny - I'm with you. I also get pretty pissed off with people saying how thoughtful they have been when they genuinely don't know whether their present is appreciated as we're all too polite to tell someone that they have given us crap. IMO often the thoughtful presents are the worst - and people so smug about them.

Now I sound like a miserable old cow - sorry - I'm just bad at presents..

TravelinColour · 27/12/2012 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FromEsme · 27/12/2012 19:42

At least you can always use vouchers and they don't take up space. £140 is a LOT of money.

I'm grateful for anything I get really, but I can't really use most toiletries as I have sensitive skin and can only use unscented stuff. Everyone knows this but I still get them: I just give them to someone else or sell them on.

There's really no need to get upset about, it's not like anyone HAS to give you presents.

clam · 27/12/2012 19:45

I too would be pissed off in your shoes. Yes, £140 is a nice sum, but I always avoid giving vouchers (unless it's for teenagers who I know would prefer them).
Every year I end up putting effort into thinking what I'm going to get for everyone else, and then have to field phone calls from everyone else, asking me to tell them what they can get for me, dh and the DCs. And my db doesn't even do that, he bungs a cheque in the post to me telling me to get the kids something - choose it, buy it, wrap it and even write the bloody label.

cees · 27/12/2012 19:47

YABU

Present shopping is bloody hard, well done you for all the effort but I can see why I people would take the easy option and give vouchers.