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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Yes I know IABU and ungrateful but need to vent

46 replies

GreatBallsofFluff · 27/12/2012 18:59

Big family Christmas, extended family as well. I put thought into the presents I bought everyone, trying to ensure that they would like them or use them. I came out with £140 worth of next vouchers.

To be fair I'll balance it up and say that I get up early to go to the Next sale every year, but thay's mainly to buy DD clothes as I love their children's clothes but not too keen on the adult clothes. I did go to the sale yesterday and spent £80 but most was spent on DD. I just wish I had one present that I could genuinely say "how thoughtful" for.

I have always felt the black sheep of the family

OP posts:

clam · 27/12/2012 19:48

And, despite me being a teacher and being blessed with many boxes of chocolates at the end of the Christmas term, my dm always turns up at Christmas with yet more. I'm sorry but there's a distinct lack of awareness going on there.

Busyoldfool · 27/12/2012 19:58

I saw an old lady standing in despair in front of a rack of computer games last year randomly asking strangers which game would be good for a fourteen year old boy. Sorry - but the guessing games are just mad. And if you get it wrong you are believed to be uncaring or lacking in thoughtfulness. A bad guess is a bad guess, a thoughtful present can be a wrong present too.

Wheresmypopcorn · 27/12/2012 20:50

140 is quite a lot of money. Next time you need clothes for the kids and are going to spend 50 pounds, spend 50 of next vouchers and set aside the 50 pounds cash to keep to buy something for yourself :)

dayshiftdoris · 27/12/2012 21:18

I'll have them!

Swap you for a box of winegums that I got from my family.

outtolunchagain · 28/12/2012 10:20

I understand what you mean , it feels thoughtless , but it sounds as if it isn't really . I got vouchers for my parents plus a small present for each of them to open on day .Gloves for dad and a much wanted book for mum. That way it was a mixture.

Rather vouchers than my MIL though who is a great believer in 'stuff'. Every year we get expensive white elephant items which they can ill afford and which make me feel appallingly guilty because I know she has spent money they can't afford and I know the present will just go in the loft.

Before anyone says 'can't you find a use for them, you are being mean'Last years present to DH was a hand crafted , specially made shepherd crook with a horn handle and some specially chosen wood for the staff. DH has a desk job and we live in a part of the country with no sheep in a house with a moderate sized garden!This year he had a mounted part of an engine from a famous vehicle , it is huge , we have a modern house without much storage , filled to the brim with three teens/ Tweens ...., it will go in the loft .

I had three ( yes three !) custom made handbags from vintage materials. One is quite nice to look at but has lots of velvet ribbon, is not washable and the handle is a useless length so whilst I will put in my drawer as theoretically it's usable in reality I doubt I will but I will feel guilty every time I open the drawer.The other is a Victorian style evening purse , has a sewn on loop not a handle and I cannot think of one event I have been to in the past decade where it would be suitable, looks very formal .Loft again I think.

Last year I felt so guilty , that this year I let dh have a carefully thought out list of modestly priced useful items ( she rings everyday from Sept to Nov for ideas for the children ) but no .

Vouchers would be wonderful!

GambasAndCava · 28/12/2012 15:05

OP YANBU. If you don't like Next, £140 of vouchers is nothing but a chore.

This year someone has given us a gift voucher for a popular chain restaurant.

I hate chain restaurants with their processed factory shite food. I can't understand why anyone would eat in Bella Italia for example when there usually isn't a shortage of nice independant family italian restaurants around.

The same person once gave us a voucher for WH Smith! I don't understand how WH Smith is still in business when their stores are such a mess and everything costs so much more than amazon/supermarkets/wilkinsons etc.

I would ebay the voucher - you will probably come out with over £100 after ebay/paypal fees and buy something I actually wanted (that amount would buy you a kindle and some books if you don't have one and like reading).

orangerex · 28/12/2012 16:49

£140 Next vouchers would have been a considerable improvement on mine...

carpetsw33per · 28/12/2012 16:55

I can only just bear to say this but I was given a box of mould by my new in-laws. It WAS a dried flower bouquet but must have got damp. I had to pretend it was lovely and wrapped it up quickly again while saying thank you and DD was whining 'Whats the smell urghhhhhh?"

Want to swap?

SminkoPinko · 28/12/2012 16:57

lolololol @the shepherd's crook gift. Would you rather have had that. OP?

bryonywhisker · 28/12/2012 16:58

YABU be grateful you have family who can spend that much on you. I got a small gift off my mum and dh. That's it. No other family. Don't buy for friends as everyone has enough on their plates.

KitCat26 · 28/12/2012 17:10

Wow that's a really generous present. Not great if you won't spend the money on yourself though - can you swap?

I got a Christmas scratchcard from my dad which I thought was a brilliant idea especially as I won £40 quid.

BerthaTheMangerBurglar · 28/12/2012 17:12

I can understand feeling a bit depressed that five separate people all bought you the same present. Opening those envelopes must have been fun! I had a similar problem. My repeated presents were sellotape dispensers though ...

But maybe they're each looking at the thoughtful present that you bought them and thinking "well, I know she tried hard, but it's just not me, and where on earth am I going to put it? I wish she'd take the hint and get me vouchers".

at the shepherd's crook and the mould though.

verytellytubby · 28/12/2012 17:14

YABU.

simplesusan · 29/12/2012 00:15

The shepherd's crook is hillarious.

bringbacksideburns · 29/12/2012 00:20

YABVU.

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit · 29/12/2012 00:22

Buy their presents for next Christmas with the vouchers? Then spend the cash you would have spent on them, on yourself.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding · 29/12/2012 00:23

£140?!! You are lucky, enjoy your next shop yabu

BrusselSproutsFartyPants · 29/12/2012 00:31

Could be worse my 64 year old DM got a Miss Selfridge gift card

stifnstav · 29/12/2012 00:50

At least you can spend them. I got a £20 voucher for a shop where the cheapest item I like is at least £50. And I am skint.

stifnstav · 29/12/2012 00:56

And to get to this shop would cost me about £15 in petrol, so my gift would cost £45 if I bought the one item I like.

Hmmmm!

yousmell · 29/12/2012 08:44

get yourself an amazon wish list and email it out next year.

This year buy all your kids clothes at next. Then buy yourself a gift work 140 separatly.

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