To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

[Atthewelles]

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

listen Offred, every single driver in the history of the world has driven when they have some sort of illness- a headache, a tummy upset, a cold, braxton hicks, bad back etc..drivers are perfectly capable of deciding whether they are fit enough to drive or not. It is NOT illegal to drive if you are unwell! If that was true, 100% of all drivers have broken the law.

I'm sorry, my doc said that bh was the womb contracting... Maybe he was wrong. Mine certainly stopped me in my tracks.

and Offred, I can guarantte you 100% that the poorly paid bus and train drivers you rely on have also driven when unwell.

Ah, well that's alright then!

Not when heavily pregnant.

And what does pay have to do with the fish?

Trampy, do you really think I'd have driven a car if I was in distracting pain which made it difficult for me to pay attention to the road? No. Of course not.

I don't rely on buses, I cycle but thanks anyway.

I am pretty glad I don't feel it is ok to put other people at risk for my convenience btw. Many people do feel that about cars to the point it is not socially acceptable to behave responsibly about cars and driving. I agree probably 99% of drivers have the same entitled attitude about the importance of their convenience.

It is illegal to drive when you are so ill you would not be able to walk which is what you were saying "waaaah I was ill/pregnant and couldn't walk" well if you can't walk, you aren't fit to drive. Full stop. Yes a lot of tummy bugs/braxton hicks/headaches make people unfit to drive and just because people commonly drive anyway it doesn't make it legal or safe...

but let's all turn this into a thread about how very scary and dangerous cars are, whilst we continue to rely on drivers, albeit train, plane and taxi drivers.

That is such bollocks Offred. My cousin is disabled. She can't walk. But she is allowed to drive a car.

We're not doing that. You are by justifying your decision to drive while having bh. And insisting that nondrivers are lying about not caring and missing out. I trust taxi drivers, bus driver and train drivers. They are professionals. You are not.

What has disability got to do with anything? :/ weird...

I don't use planes or buses or rely on drivers. When my husband is home he often drives us all places but equally we often cycle, just because he is driving doesn't mean I'm relying on him anymore than he's relying on me when we cycle.

I used to be bemused at the concept of an adult who couldn't drive, or swim, or was a graduate but claimed they couldn't do maths.

In the country where I grew up, public transport and even taxis weren't an option. If you couldn't walk/bicycle/motorcycle/drive or get a lift to where you wanted to go, you didn't go. I don't recall ever coming across an adult who couldn't drive. (I guess those with epilepsy/whatever crossed their fingers and drove anyway. Officialdom probably wasn't organised enough to prevent them.)

Every school, both state and private, had at a minimum a half-Olympic size pool. I recall earning life-saving badges in the one at my free state primary. That was voluntary, and my parents paid for a handful of lessons at the municipal pool that were all I needed to make me drown-proof. There was compulsory swimming of lengths in both primary and secondary PE lessons. I am bemused whenever I hear news reports of someone in the UK drowning in a canal or river. I can understand drowning in the sea where the current can keep you away from the shore, but it requires a conscious effort to imagine how someone could drown in fresh water.

I hear educated and successful people in the UK not so much admit as boast that they can't do maths. The system where I grew up was that maths was a compulsory high school subject and I think that without a C in maths no university would admit you as a student. (My father, a working-class Englishman who left school at 14, passed the exams needed for divinity degree, but was awarded a diploma and not a degree because his school record didn't qualify him to be a university entrant. He would, among other things, have needed that C in maths.)

I now live in London, so can perfectly understand living without a car. I could easily do it myself.

As a relatively well-off adult, I don't have easy access to a swimming pool for doing lengths, and I've noticed that not only does not every school have one, but, having lived here for 30 years, the climate isn't exactly conducive to out-door pools. (Though having flown out of London City airport over North London a few times, I was shocked to find there are parts of the capital where every house seems to have an out-door pool. From the air it looks like lots of people think they are in Australia or California.) So, if I make a conscious effort, I can sort of grasp the concept of an adult who can't swim.

The maths thing is pure bollocks though. People don't do maths because the system (school and presumably university) allows them not to.

It isn't me who is saying drivers are scary btw it is you when you insist all drivers drive when they aren't fit.

Fact is braxton hicks is not a disability and in that specific situation, or if you are ill, and those things mean you can't walk then you are too ill to drive. That's what you said, you were too ill to walk and your braxton hicks prevented you walking.

YABU because by definition you are only going to notice the non-drivers who impose on you. Nothing wrong with getting annoyed by people who impose on you, but the annoying behaviour they exhibit is imposing on you, not failing to drive. It would be just as annoying if they never took their turn to cook, clear the table or wash up.

I have epilepsy. Haven't driven for years. It is a point of honour for me not to accept lifts from people (mainly because of people with shitty horrible attitudes like yours putting me off - I get it a lot in real life too) and my 2 year old and I get around perfectly fine in our very rural area with our feet and the occasional bus or train thrown in. Much safer, better for our health and keeps us away from cunty car drivers with a chip on their shoulder.

Or perhaps some of you are not cunts? I'll make an exception for all the car drivers on this thread who have said nice things. The rest of you though...

it goes back to the old days, when husbands drove their wives everywhere and was often used as a form of control; knowing where the little woman was and when she'd be back. I don't know a single independent woman, with the means to afford a car, who would choose not to. Pushing that -'oooohhh, cars are so scary and dangerous and drivers are so nasty and horrid' argument doesn't convince anyone.

The maths thing is pure bollocks though. People don't do maths because the system (school and presumably university) allows them not to.

I would love a thread on this! (Nearly went a bit crazy making sure DD got a C in Maths this year.)

Chris- people drown in rivers because of currents and canals because the sides are high and there is often no way to get out by yourself.

Today I took two trains and a taxi both ways to visit my sister for a couple of hours. My Dh is ill so I had my 3 children aged 4, 6 and 8 with me. He was meant to be driving I can't. I didn't want to let the children or my sister down, I didn't expect anyone else to drive us.

Am I still rubbish cos I have no medical reason for not being able to drive? I am capable of taking the children on daytrips and on holiday without a car as well.

Autumn, that's utter bollocks.

Why do you find it so hard to accept that other people feel differently to you? Its odd. Not to mention arrogant.

And also because of alcohol!

If you've ever done any river swimming you'd understand how strong currents can be even in placid looking rivers. I'm quite a strong swimmer and also quite fit and it is extremely difficult to swim against a current/to a place where you can get out and you often get cut by hidden rocks without realising because of the temp of the water.

that's fine bigmouth, if you're happy to do that.
I did similar journeys before I passed my driving test and they drove me absolutely mad. But if you don't mind it, there's no problem. I just struggle to understand how you wouldn't want something which would make life easier and better?

what is 'bollocks' Trampy?

Bigmouth, we go everywhere on the train, ds loves it. Our holiday/day out starts at the station.

it goes back to the old days, when husbands drove their wives everywhere and was often used as a form of control; knowing where the little woman was and when she'd be back. I don't know a single independent woman, with the means to afford a car, who would choose not to.

Utter bollocks.

we travel to the North frequently. Combined train fares for us all comes to roughly £200. The same trip costs about £80 in diesel, for a trip which is faster and door to door.