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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

815 replies

Atthewelles · 27/12/2012 14:07

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

OP posts:
cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 16:04
Xmas Grin
Original poster
Atthewelles · 27/12/2012 16:04

I think some people should look up the definition of 'life skill'. It is not about being able to save your life.

Anyway, have to drive to visit someone now.

OP posts:
Tuppence2 · 27/12/2012 16:04

I agree with apostrophethesnowman

a life skill?? Seriously?
I best go tell my 54 year old mother and my gran who made it to 84 without driving!
I have no interest or inclination to ever drive, but I'm pretty sure I'm still living my life, without this amazing life skill!

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 16:04

Usual and cinnamount* should technically be dead. Grin

Crinkle77 · 27/12/2012 16:04

I don't drive but would never expect someone to stay sober while I sit there knocking the ale back. I would suggest a taxi. I tried learning but hated every minute of it. Just did not feel confident and was a nervous wreck behind the wheel. Now it's gone so expensive and to run a car and all I hear people do who have cars is moan about how much they cost. I have had two lots of friends recently who have had to have their cars repaired recently and it has cost hundreds of pounds which has put me off even more

Roseformeplease · 27/12/2012 16:05

Lueji - taxi can be booked in advance but she often says no, or doesn't pick up the phone, or has a holiday away. All very reasonable but these mean that we do not have a constant service. Many rural areas have no one at all so we are relatively lucky.

Mu1berryBush · 27/12/2012 16:05

i can drive but i can't pass the test. i think it's too hard (the test) they need to make it easier. it's ridiculous. i'm giving up. i've spent 20 years on and off trying to pass that fucking test.

whistlestopcafe · 27/12/2012 16:06

I did suggest that Tuppence but he wasn't having any of it, he doesn't want to be a nuisance.

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 16:07

Actually, I'm in favour of it being even harder to pass.

And I learned when it was frighteningly easy.

cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 16:07

Maybe the ability to use transport is a life skill, but that can include using your own legs or using public transport. It doesn't have to mean driving.

Tuppence2 · 27/12/2012 16:10

The only time it is awkward not being able to drive is when dealing with drivers who think that meeting up in random obscure places is a good idea, which to me is more selfish than me choosing a cheaper and more convenient method of transport that gets me to everywhere I choose to go to.

You say this is selfish of the drivers, but I think it's pretty entitled of you! So friends can only go to places that you find easy to get to? If friends of mine make arrangements to go somewhere "obscure" then I treat the same as going to town. If it is somewhere I want to go, I make the effort to go there, if not, I don't. It is your choice to get public transport like it is their choice to drive, suck it up!

LuluMai · 27/12/2012 16:10

Holla,we should be able to do if required? How does one make oneself capable of doing something one cannot do? Magic. The op is ignoring the point about some adults who simply are incapable of driving, it is not always a choice!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 27/12/2012 16:10

I do think that driving is a fairly essential life skill tbh - my siblings and I all learned to drive whilst still living at home, with driving lessons given to us for our 17th birthdays. None of us could afford to run a car at 17, but we had the licence all ready for when we did.

I'll do the same for my dc.

I once dated a man in his 20's who couldn't drive or swim. I was always Shock about it.

crazycrackernanna · 27/12/2012 16:13

Agree cinnamonnut...to know the best bus routes and back streets for walking is indeed skillful Wink...it takes more than shoving a stick with a knob on up and down.

cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 16:14

Shoving a stick with a knob on up and down Grin

SugarplumMary · 27/12/2012 16:15

MrsAmaretto
Good post rosesformeplease there is an assumption that non drivers live in areas with excellent public transport links.

Not really - we knew there were places we couldn't live because we didn't drive.

The place we settled even though its edge of a rural town has good transport links ? and it?s walkable to centre which has good train links. It was only a possibility because of its transport links.

It?s different if you?ve grown up somewhere rural with poor links as it?s not your choice. Once you?re an adult you usually have options ? either drive or live somewhere where it?s less of an issue.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones
None of us could afford to run a car at 17, but we had the licence all ready for when we did.

That is great - my parents did that for me. I'm getting to late 30s and still haven't found a use for it and would need many lessons to be safe to drive again.

usualsuspect3 · 27/12/2012 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazycrackernanna · 27/12/2012 16:15
Blush
Lueji · 27/12/2012 16:15

The only time it is awkward not being able to drive is when dealing with drivers who think that meeting up in random obscure places is a good idea

It can also be a PITA arranging a meeting somewhere central where drivers would have to pay for parking, or parking was limited to 2 hours, or they would have to spend hours in public transport instead if they lived further away, I suppose.
There's no pleasing everyone. :)

SugarplumMary · 27/12/2012 16:16

I literally passed my test and have never been behind a car wheel again - they didn't like me driving their car and I left home for poor student life shortly after.

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 16:17

You wre shocked that someone couldn't drive or swim Sabrina?

Really?

insancerre · 27/12/2012 16:18

I think that being able to get to where you want to go without a car is more of a life skill.

foreverondiet · 27/12/2012 16:18

Their choice not to drive but PITA to expect or demand lifts.

And yes if if my DH couldn't drive it would be a PITA as I would have to drive around the DC etc - however YABU to moan about non drivers in general - eg my SIL doesn't drive, and I think the only person it impacts is her DH.

So on balance YABU - just don't offer lifts.

Nodecentnickname · 27/12/2012 16:18

Non car drivers are not the nuisance. Your brother is.
In fact, you and every other car driver are far more of a massive nuisance and inconvenience to non-drivers and their children due to the vast number of pollutants you pump into the atmosphere, just because you are all far too lazy and disorganized to share public transport or walk.

WildWorld2004 · 27/12/2012 16:18

If someone paid for me to pass my test and paid for a car i would quite happily drive.

However i do know many people who have become so lazy once they learnt to drive. Some people seem to forget that you can walk to the shop 2 minutes down the road. You dont need to drive there.