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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

815 replies

Atthewelles · 27/12/2012 14:07

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

OP posts:

MrsAmaretto · 27/12/2012 15:56

Good post rosesformeplease there is an assumption that non drivers live in areas with excellent public transport links.

Op YAB a bit U , not all non drivers are a nuisance, but there are those (in my experience) that assume they will get lifts, etc. from driving friends, neighbours and relatives. I suggest you stop giving your brother a lift if it annoys you. I happily pass my colleague every morning as he walks a couple of miles on a single track road to our nearest bus stop. He chooses not to drive, whilst I choose the warmth, convienance and expense of running a car :)

LineRunner · 27/12/2012 15:56

Salmo hospital transport does exist around the country. Some people do have better experiences than others. I wish those experiencing a poor service would complain, so that's its kept up to standard. (Our local newspaper did a good campaign, and got improvements.)

DontmindifIdo · 27/12/2012 15:56

Whistlestop - you are either goingto have to start arranging meet ups (and yes, once DCS get over a certain age, a cafe isn't always good for more than a short meet up, you are goingto have to find places you can get to/from easily that you can suggest) or accept you aren't going to be able to make a lot of the meet ups with this group.

HollaAtMeSanta · 27/12/2012 15:56

YANBU. Non drivers are deeply annoying. Even if you don't want or need to drive in everyday life, you should be able to do so if required. It's a life skill!

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 15:57

Ah flow - now that's the thing. My MIL is old and frail but she rather enjoys the "day out*.

She isn't terminally ill though and that sounds miserable for what your dad had to go through.

cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 15:57

Life skill please do fuck off, I really don't have to drive if I don't want to.

Original poster

Atthewelles · 27/12/2012 15:58

I agree Worra some people over rely on cars and won't even walk to the local shops.. But driving can also be very very handy sometimes. Even if you don't actually own a car it can be handy to offer to share some of the driving from time to time - I just think it's almost a life skill nowadays and most of my friends, as soon as their children turn seventeen, insist on teaching them or getting them lessons.

OP posts:

Original poster

Atthewelles · 27/12/2012 15:58

You sound awfully defensive cinnamonnut. Apologies if I've touched a nerve.

OP posts:

SugarplumMary · 27/12/2012 15:59

I've lived here nearly 18yrs and there are neighbours who I have never seen walking...not even to the local shop which is a 4 minute walk.

Same here I wouldn?t mind but we get constant comments from local people about how far the DC walk always with a hint of disapproval. They do walk a long way - sometime they chose to at minute they like long country walks - but often they are just walking round the corner a few streets at most.

LineRunner · 27/12/2012 15:59

Why would we want more 17 years olds on the roads?

insancerre · 27/12/2012 15:59

life skill? does that mean I have to be able to do it in order to live my life? I must be dead then.
I can't bloody swim either, you might as well shoot me now.

Tuppence2 · 27/12/2012 15:59

whistlestopcafe could you not help your dad by ordering a big shop online and have it delivered, so he just needs to buy things like milk, etc from a corner shop?
You don't need a car for that

cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 15:59

No, atthewelles, I was talking to HollaAtMeSanta

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 15:59

Driving is not a fecking life skill.

It's just a skill. Or not, depending on how crap you are at it.

Life skill implies needing it to survive.

Which is patently not true for driving.

crazycrackernanna · 27/12/2012 15:59

I don't drive. And I have survived to be nearly 50yo!

I did try a few lessons in my 20s, and found it reaaally boring tbh.

Living in London,I suppose, public transport links are good. And a car costs so much to run.

And...what are mini cabs for? For me..that's what

apostrophethesnowman · 27/12/2012 16:00

Oh don't be so ridiculous. Not everyone needs to, or wants to, drive.

If I had a car it would be parked at my front door for 99 percent of the time as I would rarely use it. I commute by train daily. If I go into the city at weekends I use the train because it's quicker and if I drove there parking would be an issue.

I do my grocery shopping online, so have it delivered.

On the odd occasion that I need to go somewhere by car I phone a taxi. This still works out much cheaper than paying for a car I don't need, along with road tax, car insurance and petrol. It makes no economic sense for me to own a car.

I'm perfectly happy with my situation.

I suggest if your sibling was abusing your car-driving skills then you ought to take that up with her and not tar everyone with the same brush.

crashdoll · 27/12/2012 16:00

I knew we'd get to 'life skill' at some point. I can drive. I don't drive as I find it physically uncomfortable due to my disability. My family constantly nag me about it. I wish they'd fuck off to be honest.

usualsuspect3 · 27/12/2012 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitofSparklingPerry · 27/12/2012 16:01

The only time it is awkward not being able to drive is when dealing with drivers who think that meeting up in random obscure places is a good idea, which to me is more selfish than me choosing a cheaper and more conveinient method of transport that gets me to everywhere I choose to go to.

Meet in a major town and get a taxi home. i don't know why you would take your car unless you were disabled or going to the arse end of nowhere anyway.

WorraLorraTurkey · 27/12/2012 16:02

YANBU. Non drivers are deeply annoying. Even if you don't want or need to drive in everyday life, you should be able to do so if required. It's a life skill!

Righto, I'm a non driver by choice who learned the 'life skill'.

I haven't been behind the wheel of a car for 11 years.

I'm able to 'do so if required'...but would you be happy to sit in the passenger seat if I did?

No, thought not....

Or should we all take yearly refresher lessons on the off chance we might be 'required' to drive someone somewhere who for some strange reason can't get a taxi...but happen to have a car available that's insured for me to drive?

RubyGates · 27/12/2012 16:02

I don't drive anymore. The car has sat in the garage for 6 years and there, I suspect, it will stay.
I live in London. I use buses for work, a bicycle and trailer with a childseat for non-work.
I don't have a social life because I can't afford baby sitters.

I'm an only child and my parents divorced and moved away to different southern counties both over a hundred miles from me. They both drive. They either use their own cars or patient transport to get to appointments.
Do you expect me to move closer to one or other of them to ferry them around? Which one should I choose?
I hire a car if we go ona a long distance holiday, or use coaches and trains.

How in God's name do I inconvenience anybody? YABU
OH doesn't drive either. You should be very, very glad about it.

cinnamonnut · 27/12/2012 16:02

Oh dear usual - we are such incompetent bastards, not like we've survived perfectly fine so far is it

Salmotrutta · 27/12/2012 16:02

And seriously? "You should be able to do so if required".

.... That's just about the biggest piece of bs I've ever read on here!,,

Hahahaha!

insancerre · 27/12/2012 16:03

usualsuspect I was too busy learning to breathe and to eat to learn to swim and drive

whistlestopcafe · 27/12/2012 16:03

DontmindifIdo - I do suggest local venues and I'm not bothered about not making all the meet-ups. What bothers me is that they will organise events to out of the way places and then be annoyed that I can't come. The museum next week would take more than 2 hours each way and a total of 4 buses I could almost walk there in that time!

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