Uh, sorry this is way more of a rant than an AIBU but I just have to get it out.
Went to MIL for Christmas lunch yesterday. Got there at half two (they don't eat til gone three) and it was clear that SIL had been drinking. She's not a big drinker so whatever she has goes to her head but she'd definitely had too much. Her DC are 4 and 2.
It's christmas, so i understand wanting a drink but It transpired after lunch that her DP had also been drinking but hadn't had as much as SIL. The kids generally run rampant anyway. When they're calm they're lovely to be around but more often than not that's not the case. By 4pm they were both shattered. They'd been up since 3.30 that morning and it had clearly been a long day.
SIL went for a lie down upstairs (after spending ages ignoring the kids while she used her ipad. This is not a new thing) and when she came down her DP said he was taking the kids home. They live literally around the corner and the kids were both in tears and had got to the point where they couldn't be reasoned with. SIL then has a go at her DP, the gist being that she's having a good time and there's no way they're leaving. This included him and the kids.
He's a complete wet lettuce and just sat there sulking in the corner. Meanwhile both children keep falling over through exhaustion. The two year old asked MIL for a drink and spilt it everywhere because she couldn't even hold it. All the while SIL is sat on her useless arse ignoring them. they continue the scream, and no one is saying anything.
My DP (SIL's brother) had been in the kitchen so I told him what was happening. He calls SIL over (because he can usually get through to her), and says that her kids are clearly unhappy, let her DP take them home and we will take her back later so she can have a good time.
My DP then goes through to speak to her DP (politiely telling him to man up because his kids are more important) and SIL storms upstairs accusing my DP of calling her a bad mum etc. She is, but he didn't say that, nor did he imply it. MIL then runs up to talk to her.
Ten minutes later she's downstairs ready to go. My DP goes to apologise to her (because everyone in the family has been taught to pander to her) and she lays into him saying how much of a good mother she is even when drunk (she's not) and how even though we have DD now (who is less than a year) he doesn't know better etc.
Just to note, before we had DD she knew better than us because she was a parent, despite that fact she's much younger, has no life experience and is uneducated and now that we have DD we still don't know better than her.
So then we have to reassure her that's not the case and no one was criticising her because no one wants to see her lose it. She then left and I went mad. I was so unbelievably pissed off that not only had she been a shit parent, she creates drama and we all have to feed into it (because MIL has never EVER called her up on it) but she brought (albeit inadvertently) my PFB into it. Please also note that my 10mo is better behaved than her four year old.
Then we had to act normal with her today! I suppose I have to have an AIBU, so AIBU to still be shaking with rage every time I think of her and her stupid face?
That feels so much better 