To start a DSC thread here?

[NotaDisneyMum]

Probably, but I'm so pissed off I don't care.

DSS is here for Christmas this year - as per the court order, along with my DD.

After opening stockings, we suggested that the DCs call their 'other parent' to wish them merry Christmas.

DSS response? ^Oh no, Mum told me not to because she'll be sleeping - she was working last night. She'll ring when she wakes up later during Christmas dinner.

AIBU to think she could have tolerated disturbed sleep for one day so DS can speak to her on Christmas morning? He's 9, but ASD, so emotionally younger.

DP didn't know DSS mum was on nights, otherwise we wouldn't have suggested it.

Who'd have guessed that the MN jury would support the idea of withholding contact between a DC and their Mum on Christmas Day

You are kidding aren't you ? Nobody is withholding contact. The woman was working nights and will phone her dc when she is up later.

Actually, as DSS is a member of MY family as well, it does impact on me as DP and I are the ones who pick up the pieces.

Do parents really 'clear it' with their DCs when it's ok to speak to them?

Yes, I'm feeling very bitter that this lovely little boy whose expectations I raised by suggesting he call his mum on Christmas morning feels such responsibility for her welfare they he refuses to.

He's withdrawn into himself now; we'll be lucky to get interaction for the rest if the day.
All because his mum chose not to tell DP that she didn't want to speak to DS until she slept.

oh please.

With DSS learning disability i think it would of been very helpful to inform you that she would like her son to ring when shes awake etc so that you dont mention it to him and therefore he doesnt get upset.

Step parenting is far far harder than dealing and bringing up your own children.

I do sympathise with you NADM.

I've a feeling you're somewhat exaggerating things now. People have called you up on it, and lo' and behold you 'fill out' a bit more detail. Pfft

Sounds as if you just like to find things to not like about Dss mom.

She probably said this, as she thought it might be difficult to stay awake, I know after a 12 hour night shift, I would really struggle to keep my eyes open once I was in the house, esp if the kids were not there,so to avoid your Dss having to ring her mom, and 1, feel guilty for waking her or 2, not get an answer the mom has said she will ring later.

It is a phone call!! She has not left him on your doorstep in the snow clutching nothing but a ratty blanket and driven off into the distance, not sure what "pieces" you need to be picking up, unless you have made a big deal of it in front of DSS.

Sounds like you're more bothered than he is tbh.

Just get over it and enjoy your Christmas Day.

Was he upset before you started making such a song and dance of it?

YANBU.
No one is suggesting that he doesn't have contact with hi mother, just that he doesn't wake her up after she's worked a night shift.

I guess it would have been helpful for her to inform you and dp that she would be sleeping in the mane' but I think your response sounds unkind.
Happy Christmas. Lucky for those children they're spending c.mas with you as you're clearly the more marvellous of the parents in ts set up.

Meh, not very full of seasonal love and kindness are you.

You arent picking up any pieces OP. Dramatic much?

Its a phonecall. I am sure your DSS is quite well aquainted with the routine at his mums, and has perhaps gone into himself at the suggestion because thats not how it works.

Or he might just be overwhelmed because its Christmas.

Or maybe you could have checked with her about what would be a good time to call.

Meant to say: YAbu.

festivily yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing, DP should keep track of his ex's shift pattern so he can support DSS to stay in touch.

DP wrongly assumed that DSS mum would be celebrating Christmas with DSD - who he thought was there with her this year - he's just texted DSD to find out where she is!

YABVU.

Your DSS was fine with what his mum said. Until you got all bitter and catsbumface about it. I feel sorry for the poor chap with a bitter drama queen for a SM.

so your Dp doesn't even know where his DD is for xmas but you have a problem with this woman postponing a phonecall to her son so she can sleep afetr a 12 hour night shift?

He hasn't seen me since he refused to phone her, I disappeared into the kitchen and he's upstairs - so unless he's logged onto MN, I'm fairly sure he has no idea how I feel, at least, i hope not.

by the time dinner is ready I'll be over my unreasonable sulks with the help of Buck's Fizz

DP thought DSD was with her Mum - someone, somewhere hasn't been completely honest.

I just can't imagine telling her in advance not to call me on Christmas morning because I'll be asleep

Have you ever worked nights then OP? I would guess not.

I do and my DC all know that mummy is a nicer person if she gets her sleep.

Well done to your DSS for respecting that for his DM.

You sound like an absolute nightmare

This has nothing to do with dss does it?

It has more to do with dsd and where she is, because if DH had know ex was on nights he'd have had dsd as well, but presumably she went somewhere else out of choice perhaps so DH is pissed that his dd chose to go somewhere else and you are taking the brunt of his subsequent pissy mood?

Am I right?

And if dss had just made the phone call DH would be none the wiser. And that's why the lack of phone call has pisseds you off.

frustrated DSD doesn't come here when her Mum works, why would she? The contact schedule is set out in a court order.

ahh! i see now.