To have told SIL "no...NOT Pardon!"?

[MrsMushroom]

We're abroad with DHs family.

DD aged 4 didn't hear something SIL said.....DD said "What?" and SIL said "WHAT? WHAT??? I think you mean PARDON don't you?"

I HAD to say..."No...in England "what" is fine. Or If you prefer..."sorry, I didn't catch that."

Was I rude? I just don't want DD saying "Pardon" or even worse "P'don"

Oh and Merry Christmas everyone!

Pardon is much better than WOT??

As a scottish person i dont really give a fuck as to which words a person uses as long as i understand them. What, pardon, sorry, eh? they all mean the same. Its more how they are said than what is said. You could easily have a rude pardon and a polite what, and vice versa.

IMO yes you were rude.

"Pardon?" is perfectly acceptable, as is "sorry?", but "what?" is impolite.

Agree with Tidy. You can say "I'm sorry?" or "pardon?" but "what?" is rude.

I can't believe anyone in the universe thinks "pardon" is rude and "what?" is more polite. Only on Mumsnet. This place is full of surprises these days.

It's not just on MN.

What on earth is so wrong with the word 'pardon'?

I am bewildered

English SGM (slight social climber) would die if we said anything other than What/Loo/Serviette etc. French GM (definite social climber) would die if DCs did say French equivalent the above. She actually calls the loo the WC (in French). She thinks I am vulgar, but I'm ok with that. Actually quite pleased!!

I always try to go with what is suitable to those I'm with - don't always get it right though. In my own home I call it (loo) what I grew up with and say "what". I explain to students that we use a variety of words depending on class etc, and that I feel the most classless is probably "sorry".

Just to be clear "pardon" in French means "excuse me" as in can I just get past.

"Comment?" is used when one hasn't heard and wants something repeated or "Je n'ai pas entendu. Pouvez-vous répéter s'il vous plait?"

Excusez-moi when one has farted (pété) or burped (roté).

I wonder if MNers will find I need correcting! I'm always happy to be put right, but French XH and 17 years here.

I really can't understand how some people on here think 'pardon' is worse than 'what' - 'what' is rude!

Serviette is common wally

Your SGM is doing her social climbing all wrong

It's napkin

People who care about these sorts of distinctions don't care so much about appearing polite, they care about appearing....proper, and MC/UC and posh. It doesn't matter!!

It's all in the fabric

Yes. If it's paper, it's a paper napkin

Cat - absolutely I meant napkin, obviously. Mixing my frogs and rosbifs.

One of these intricate systems for working out someone's social class - there's a lovely chapter in it in Kate Fox's book "Watching the English". "Pardon" puts you firmly in the middle class where you are showing that you are more refined than the lower class. Upper class therefore regard "Pardon" as vulgar.

We were chastised for either "what" or "pardon" - it had to be "I'm sorry what did you say" or "I beg your pardon I didn't hear you" - no abbreviations allowed.

And obviously SGM uses napkins that can be washed and ironed - no paper ones in the house, not even for picnics.

Your SGM sounds like my friends GM who once berated her loudly, saying in an imperious and horrified tone:

"Katherine. You are eating you egg with a grapefruit spoon"

We giggled about that for months

I knew grapefruit spoons had to be good for something as they are crap for eating grapefruit with. Tell me are grapefruit nicer now (like peppers)? They were always horrid when I was a kid and I haven't tried one for a couple of decades now.

To be honest, I haven't had a grapefruit for ages

They remind me of horrible and failed diets

Gosh SGM did the grapefruit diet and the F-Plan. Now suffers from awful constipation etc and blames on silly diets. She was also stick thin (no boobs though - huh one to me!) Sorry OP and everyone else total TC.

Jings, the things you learn on Mumsnet. In this house we say "pardon" or "excuse me" but never "what."