To have told SIL "no...NOT Pardon!"?

[MrsMushroom]

We're abroad with DHs family.

DD aged 4 didn't hear something SIL said.....DD said "What?" and SIL said "WHAT? WHAT??? I think you mean PARDON don't you?"

I HAD to say..."No...in England "what" is fine. Or If you prefer..."sorry, I didn't catch that."

Was I rude? I just don't want DD saying "Pardon" or even worse "P'don"

Oh and Merry Christmas everyone!

'What did you say?' or 'sorry?' in this house although kids are adopting a rather American 'excuse me?' which I don't care for at all

Oo definitely don't like excuse me - especially if you're not actually in their way -when it should then be 'excuse me please'

Isn't "what" used by the aristocracy because they can get away with being rude?

Pardon is used by non aristocrats because it is considered rude to say "what"

'What' is rude.

What. A shortened version of 'What did you say?"

Pardon. What somebody does if they forgive you.

If I want to know what somebody has said, it's What. It's not rude. It's right.

I was taught to say pardon but stubbornly ignored those instructions. I don't understand what is rude about 'what'. It's a perfectly valid word. For those that think its rude, why? Genuine question.

My grande dame Grandmother and Grandfather would never let me get away with saying "Pardon" or "toilet" as considered terribly petite bourgeoisie - always "What" or "Loo" or "Lavatory". Or according to my Grandfather it was Bog if you wanted to be really posh because that's where the officers in trenches got to relieve themselves. I'd have been slapped by a teacher though if I'd said I wanted to go to the bog and my Grandfather found this hilarious.

They were usually half cut as they opened their first wine from 12 noon every day. They did though give up drinking spirits before 6pm in attempt to cut down - being posh is confusing. Ok to be a functional drunk but a social disaster if you said "Where's the toilet".

Correcting people and thereby suggesting they are common is obviously even worse than getting it "wrong" in the first place. Gah it's tricky being posh British.

What is not rude unless it is said in a rude way. I usually say excuse me if I want to err on the side of caution though. I don't believe everyone who says that most people say pardon... I've never heard anyone say that! I'd also never heard of the terms 'u' and non-u' until I found mumsnet!

so what did she say when you told her that?

I read most of the thread as tongue in cheek when I posted early this morning, am now wondering why several people are getting offended by what they have read as a humourless discussion... However if we are being judgy and mirthless the person in the wrong is clearly the Op's Sil for correcting somebody else's child, which is almost never acceptable, unless they are being dangerous!

"It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making another despise him".

(George Bernard Shaw)

Pardon is the correct term, what can be rude

You are all missing the sensational Chariot race in Ben Hur. Seen it 10 times, but what a film! Excuse me - pardon me, sorry an'all for interrupting.

Oh, and it's just ended. What a fine figure of a man Charlton Heston was .

Pardon is not the 'correct term' it is one of many you can use. Personally I hate pardon and never use it but I wouldnt even notice someone else using it let alone judge them on it

haven't had time to read whole thread due to DCs warring, but chibi I shall be repeating "mirthless connipshits" as often as possible, love it!

It is frightfully common to criticise the way somebody speaks.

I say "sorry what" and always have done. If someone told me I was causing offence I would Ho with the flow and use whatever wad.preferred. I day "say again" on the phone though.

"Sorry?" here, was brought up saying "what?" but a nasty teacher dragged me over the coals for it. (Not nasty for that particularly, she was just nasty generally). Couldn't bring myself to say pardon - i thought it was posh not common! - so I compromised on "sorry?"

As a foreigner, my mind is boggling!
I never knew of this secret code, and have been told to say "Sorry (I didn't get that)" in school!
In German the equivalent of what (was) is very rude, so I always tell the kids off for saying it!

Have to have a discussion with dh after Doctor Who is over about what class we are again. What is upper class?!?

Pardon is non-U

jeez OP unless you care about people thinking your DCs are "common", who cares? the intention is the same.

I say sorry. Or what. It's the way you say it that counts. If you smile, don't say it brusquely and just give a pleasant impression. However to fit in at my secondary school I switched to pardon while I was there, because they all thought "what" was rude and "sorry" was too posh. Sometimes I do a what-sorry combo to bridge the gap

Ha stella! "what is rude" how tall is a chinaman?

My very Yorkshire very good friend does the classic "yerwot??" and grins at those who act sniffy about it! she couldn't care less what class people think she is....she's cleverer than anyone I know and is the most interesting and original person I know and I don't know how anyone could look down on her, ever, if they knew her even just a tiny bit. Says more about them than her.......

We say excuse me, pardon or sorry. Never what! I thought all parents taught their kids not to say what.

I will be teaching DS to say "What" as it is correct

"Sorry" at a push

Won't be overly pleased if he comes home from school saying "Pardon", "Serviette" and "Desert"

Not the biggest thing to worry about but still.........

Mind you, I will also be bringing him up not to comment on how other people speak.......

Quirrel

Not "how tall'

How Hi is a chinaman.