To have told SIL "no...NOT Pardon!"?

[MrsMushroom]

We're abroad with DHs family.

DD aged 4 didn't hear something SIL said.....DD said "What?" and SIL said "WHAT? WHAT??? I think you mean PARDON don't you?"

I HAD to say..."No...in England "what" is fine. Or If you prefer..."sorry, I didn't catch that."

Was I rude? I just don't want DD saying "Pardon" or even worse "P'don"

Oh and Merry Christmas everyone!

out of curiousity, is it just english people who have these mirthless connipshits over who is posh/common/above themselves/middleclass etc etc or do scottish and welsh people partake in such delights as well

I think we should take into account what most people find rude. Personally I prefer 'what?' but just because it is the thing that UC people say does not necessarily make it right by default. If lots of other people are offended by that then perhaps we should not always say it? I would never correct anyone for saying 'pardon'.

I once got into terrible trouble at school when I was 6, because the dinner lady tried to make me say 'pardon' instead of 'what', and I refused because I had been told by my parents that 'pardon' was 'common'. At least I had the sense not to tell her so. I think.

That's why UMC pleasers people like me settle on 'Sorry?', Fell.

Ophelia I haven't read that poem in ages! It actually makes my toes curl!

Always 'What?', never 'Pardon?', unless someone has been rude, in which case 'I beg your pardon?' said in an incredulous fashion is fine.

My boys say what, I even have DH saying it now.

However, I would rather people say pardon than toilet, the word toilet except as a verb makes me cringe! It's a loo, and it's where one keeps ones old copies of Horse and Hound

I'm in Scotland and my mother insisted on 'what'? I quickly realised at school that they wanted me to say pardon so I did.

DS has been through the same thing. I didn't insist on 'what' at all but as I say it so did DS. However his step mum told him it was common when he was about 6.

I don't really mind either way and can pretty much adapt to the situation. I would never, in a million years, correct anyone though.

How ghastly.

Judefawley, genius post.

I'm part of the what brigade. I think pardon sounds affected and I would have said so to SIL as well.

Have never thought about this before but feel quite strongly about it!

Another day another barking mad lesson from mumsnet. Ive got this comedy sketch in my head - it must be Kevin & Perry "dont say what say parrrdon"!

I don't use pardon, I think I use many things such as excuse me I didn't catch that? What's that you say sorry? Sorry? What? Etc. I never realised it was a class thing.

Happy Christmas everyone!

'pardon' is common.

I say 'sorry?' or 'what?'.

'Pardon' is just yuk, and I know that's ridiculous but I can't help it!

I don't understand how pardon can be 'common.' I was brought up in a very ordinary sort of area, and now live in a fairly rough sort of area and most people in both places say 'what.' I was always taught it was rude to say what.

I say what, for some reason I wouldn't dream of saying pardon. I'm not posh btw.

Pardon horrid , at school definite punishment if heard using word , unless in French lesson . Definite ridicule from other girls as well .I tend to use sorry rather than what as these days that seems more accepted.

Toilet ghastly and very unacceptable , once had to have very difficult conversation with nursery teacher who told ds1 off for saying loo.

Also can't stand serviette

My grandmother was very clear on this issue. Pardon is common.

If you want to display your LMC roots then the use of Pardon is the way to do it.

Apparently

Most children use the speech patterns of their parents. Despite being corrected for saying 'what' I still use it.

I think it's a pretty good idea that they hear the way everyone talks and realise that actually there is no right or wrong just different.

And I think it's massively rude to correct, no matter how annoying it is.

this thread is making me laugh hollowly- totally clueless UC parents were also genteely broke, sent us to (northern) local village school. All through the 80s I was told "don't say what! say pardon!" at school and "arrrgh! don't say Pardon, ever!" at home.
We soon learned to be bilingual

I say what.

Dh is common and says pardon. He's teaching dd bad habits.

I'm also with OP.

Pardon makes me itch.

I tend to say "sorry?"

Or "what?"

Pardon was also never used in my house when I was growing up.

'Pardon' makes my teeth itch, it is vair WC. Always 'sorry' or 'what' in my house.

I didn't correct...I just pointed out that in England we don't say pardon...so...not rude.

I think it is. You did ask!

....I thought everyone said 'Pardon'

would you all say it is as exhausting being all het up about class etc as it is listening to people being all het up about class?

It is fine to say that in your family "what" is used, but not in England generally as many here find it rude. It is unreasonable of your SIL to be trying to correct your DCs, but if she also finds "what" rude she may have been doing it with the best intentions. I prefer "sorry, what did you say?" but pardon is also fine. "What" sounds rude to me.

"pardon" makes my toes curl. Even worse than "pleased to meet you"

But I am old fashioned posh, and should be ashamed of myself for minding. They are just words.