To have told SIL "no...NOT Pardon!"?

[MrsMushroom]

We're abroad with DHs family.

DD aged 4 didn't hear something SIL said.....DD said "What?" and SIL said "WHAT? WHAT??? I think you mean PARDON don't you?"

I HAD to say..."No...in England "what" is fine. Or If you prefer..."sorry, I didn't catch that."

Was I rude? I just don't want DD saying "Pardon" or even worse "P'don"

Oh and Merry Christmas everyone!

everlong I'm so sorry if I have offended or upset you!

TheUKGrinch oh there is one definitely,it's just not so finely honed as it is in England generally speaking

Growing up, I was told that 'pardon' is rude. 'I beg your pardon' is OK, 'what' is fine (though some people believe it to be rude - generally those who think 'pardon' is OK). I think 'sorry' is a good compromise.

I find this v confusing - so are all the people saying 'what' genuinely posh or are they middle class people who know that posh people think 'pardon' is common so they say 'what' to try and fool them???

I say you're rumbled when your posh mates come round for tea and there's no horses out the back yard!

at those who are saying that pardon is polite!

Good grief.

All this bullshit about "class".

Thankfully I'm Scottish and don't "do" class.

See this wikipedia page on U and Non-U. Hilarious list of words that are considered U or Non-U. I use the U version for 19 of the 29 - I am middle class (not English so no idea which level middle class I am!) , working class background.

I was very much bought up to believe that "pardon" is polite & "what" is rude. Normal MC upbringing in the Midlands.

Oh to think I may be being judged on saying "pardon" . Shame I couldn't care less.

Well I'm Scottish and I do recognise this. Firmly MC of some flavour, raised LMC and GP firmly WC. DP's family a good deal more posh albeit we've ended up in pretty much the same place.

Serviette, doily, pardon etc. were all the things my grandmother would have pushed. Bizarrely would probably have us them to show how much more classy one side of my family was than the other (odd because there were many more valid ways to prove the same thing )

I have genuinely got to the point that I say what comes into my head with friends. I public it depends on the 'give a shit' factor', but I will conform when it's both politic and of value.

I suspect I'm not the only person with multiple accents though. Working class west coast (fit in at school), middle class ish (what I was expected to sound like), the work voice (whatever combination of what's natural that suits the environment).

Getting back to the point: pardon is rude and even if it wasn't they shouldn't have corrected your child for that (it's not like they said 'fuck off'). Difficult though, if you think there are likely to be times when they would genuinely be right to reprimand your child?

Those of you who do use the word pardon,

If you find yourself in a castle I wouldn't fret about it because the occupants whilst not using the word themselves would not bat an eyelid, I would be far more concerned about not associating with anybody who would wrinkle a nose at you because clearly they cannot avoid making a show of themselves and that is most certainly horribly vulgar.

Incidentally "will you fucking speak up you mumbling old bastard"

Will probably not go down well in public.

I think "what?" is very rude. I would say "sorry?". I don't think pardon is rude, but it's not something I would say.

I've got a semi-related gripe here. Australians say "excuse me" when they want you to get out of the fucking way. It is not said in either an enquiring or aggressive tone, but still comes over as an order.

I hate it, and have to bite my tongue not say: "Please would be nice".

Actually what is the correct word to use,i dont know where pardon came from and now everyone thinks its rude to say what!

So according to this thread there is a disproportionate number of upper or lower class people on mumsnet....

No one else in the world cares about this.

My firmly working class, grammar school dad used to say 'pam?' instead of pardon. Reminds me of 'mam' (like the queen) instead of madam...

My dear mother insisted that what is not rude and pardon is pretentious. Worse in fact than swearing in our house.

I think it is rude to correct what someone says

"What?" is almost always rude.

"Pardon?" or "Pardon me?" can be rude if said in the wrong tone of voice.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that" is my long-winded but all-purpose workaround.

Are we sure this isn't just the same kind of issue as the bap, batch, cob debate?

Maybe it just depends where you are?

North London versus the rest of the country, maybe?!

YWNBU to correct her, I would have done the same.

But to me the 'what' as an alternative can sound rude. I prefer "Sorry?"

Wouldn't say "pardon",ever, but as I am only too aware that some people think "what" is rude I wouldn't use that either! I'd mostly go for "sorry?" or "say again" (at home).Or,what was that,I didn't catch what you said,sorry could you repeat that....Might just revert to "what" actually.