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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Supermarket weep

90 replies

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:00

Went to supermarket earlier to do christmas stuff with husband, baby and 3 year old. Children have both been ill all week with coughs, vomiting. Today I have sore throat, headache, aches, sickness etc. but manned it up to go get stuff for Christmas. I actually quite enjoy the Christmas food shop. I like cooking, enjoy choosing things.

Within a couple of mins of getting into the fruit and veg bit the baby starts whining, so I pick her up to comfort her, then look around and can see no sign of my husband anyway. Literally we've been in the shop five mins, I'd only put a bag of satsuma son the trolley. So I look around the fruit and veg got him, try to pick up veg, realise I can't carry anything as he has trolley and I'm holding baby. So think he must have gone into the next aisle or two. So I go look, no sign of him. Cue then half an hour of me looking round entire supermarket without seeing him, feeling increasingly ill, angry, panicky and worried. At one point have to dash to toilet due to sickness. Eventually I get the customer services to call him on the tannoy.

Turns out he just decided that it'd be quicker to do the shopping on his own, saw me comforting the baby, thought I was taking too long and left me. Taking my bag, phone, the trolley. He knew I was ill. I'm also short sighted, didn't have my glasses and the place was massive and heaving.

I'm surprised that the whole thing freaked me out so much that when he heard the tannoy call and came got me, I ended up having a panic attack and bursting into tears, almost fainting.

He thinks he did nothing wrong. AIBU to be fed up with him? Surely you wouldn't walk off and leave anyone like that without saying, let alone your ill wife and baby?

OP posts:
AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 00:05

Having to go round the shop this time of year is enough to freak anyone out, so your DH taking it on himself to do the shop on his own, really wasn't his decision to take, especially when he didn't know you'd be OK with it.

Does he know you like doing the shop yourself?

How are you feeling now? Shouldn't you be tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and a rather large brandy?

MrsKeithRichards · 24/12/2012 00:06

Err... Emm...

He was trying to do a good thing.

Wear your glasses.

Go on your own (with your specs) next time.

ForbidenFruit · 24/12/2012 00:06

I'd be annoyed if my husband did this.

BUT you overreacted, like seriously overreacted.

Being sick, panic attack, bursting into tears and almost fainting??

I've been separated from DH in the supermarket before loads of times, and a few walks across the aisles and you soon find the person you are looking for.

TraineeBabyCatcher · 24/12/2012 00:08

He was doing the right thing, just went about it in the wrong way. I don't think hibu or yabu to fair, he was just trying to be thoughtful/helpful but he really should have said something especially if you were appart that long.

Hope you feel better soon.

MrsKeithRichards · 24/12/2012 00:09

Was this supermarket the size of Manchester?

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:09

Yeah I'm surprised at how I reacted. Haven't had a panic attack in years, since I was a teenager. Totally weird. Freaked me out. I'm in bed, just feel rubbish and can't sleep. AIBU is usually good for perspective

OP posts:
TraineeBabyCatcher · 24/12/2012 00:11

To be fair to op, if its one of these superstores like ours is can be difficult to find someone on a normal day let alone near Christmas, whilst ill and comforting a grouchy baby

StuntGirl · 24/12/2012 00:12

Why would anyone just dump the person they had gone shopping with without saying anything? Fucking weirdo (him not you).

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:12

I honestly could not find him, felt the size of Manchester. Turns out he went straight to the booze section then randomn aisles on his list .

I was actually starting to worry that something had happened to three year old.

OP posts:
chubbychipmonk · 24/12/2012 00:13

Oh dear. . . That reminds me of the time my DH and I fell out in ASDA, I was heavily pregnant at the time and a hormonal wreck. . . This resulted in me storming out the supermarket & getting the bus home (which took 3 times as long as the car). By the time I got home, DH had done the finnished the shopping, driven home, unpacked it & was sitting with a cup of tea & a smug look on his face as I came thundering through the front door!

I look back on this now & laugh however. , . As I'm sure you will too one day!

StuntGirl · 24/12/2012 00:14

I think the OP was sick due to actual illness rather than panic, and the not being able to find him is pretty easily explained by the fact she wasn't wearing her glasses. I couldn't recognise my boyfriend if he was stood right in front of me without my specs!

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:15

Yeah it was a massive place. I was trying to discreetly breastfeeding baby whilst looking for him. And trying not to be sick or faint

OP posts:
WorraLorraTurkey · 24/12/2012 00:16

So because you actually quite enjoy the Christmas food shop. I like cooking, enjoy choosing things

You saw fit to drag a baby and a 3yr old...who have been ill with coughs and vomiting with you?

Sorry but isn't that just a tad selfish? Confused

You should have left the kids at home with your DH or shopped online.

Today was one of the busiest supermarket days of the whole year - everywhere!

No wonder he got pissed off and thought he'd do it himself.

I agree he should have told you though.

Cromwell44 · 24/12/2012 00:17

YABVU - why do two adults go to a busy supermarket together on one of the busiest days of the year dragging two ill children with them? Sounds like you were ill too. Why not one of you go and the other one stay at home with the children. It sounds like the outing was doomed from the start and perhaps husband decided to do the sensible thing and get the shopping done asap.

F0xyLady · 24/12/2012 00:17

If you are ill you should stay at home. You probably passed your germs on to everyone else in that busy supermarket which they won't be grateful for over Xmas.

I would have stayed at home with kids and sent DH with a list.

missnevermind · 24/12/2012 00:18

You cant pick and choose where you have a panic attack!

You were ill, disorientated and distracted by the baby.

Dont worry. DH wont do it again Xmas Grin

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:18

Yes he knows I like doing the shop. He offered to do it without me, but I wanted to go and choose stuff so made the effort.

OP posts:
Cromwell44 · 24/12/2012 00:18

Worra said it better than me.

HollyBerryBush · 24/12/2012 00:18

Children have both been ill all week with coughs, vomiting. Today I have sore throat, headache, aches, sickness etc. but manned it up to go get stuff for Christmas.

Hmm lets hope you havent spread your illness round for everyone else to pick up.

TBH, YABVU simply for taking a husband and children shopping and cluttering up supermarket aisles at this time of year. It isn't a family outting. I cannot abide people dithering and getting in the bloody way, towing the family. Had you not taken them, you would have been in and out in a nanosecond.

DontCallMeBaby · 24/12/2012 00:19

I lose DH in supermarkets all the time - I nip back to get something, he disappears. I actually think my nipping off annoys him so much he goes and hides at the end of an aisle or something. It annoys the HELL out of me, and that's in a normal size supermarket, on a normal weekend, with just an 8yo in tow, and everyone in perfect health.

'Trying to do the right thing' is no bloody excuse, I've apologised plenty of times when 'the right thing' has, with hindsight, been the act of a total pillock.

YANBU

Hobnobber · 24/12/2012 00:19

I am I'll too and dreading having to cook. YANBU. Your husband was an idiot to just walk off and leave you when you had no way of calling him. I would be really peed off.

WorraLorraTurkey · 24/12/2012 00:21

If you wanted to go and choose stuff, why didn't you go alone?

My kids are 13 and 10 and neither of them are thankfully ill.

But I still left them at home with DH this morning so I could battle the supermarket alone...and believe me the queue was touching the back of the shop.

It's no place for a healthy baby and toddler...let alone ones who have been poorly.

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 00:21

I always phone DH if I lose him shopping (that makes him sound like he's a 5 YO Grin) didn't either of you have your phones on you?

MrsKeithRichards · 24/12/2012 00:21

I'm the same I don't know my own hand in front of me without my specs. Which is why they are the first thing on my face in the morning.

madonnawhore · 24/12/2012 00:21

Why did you take your vomiting bug into a supermarket full of food just before Christmas?

Really silly and selfish of you.

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