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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Supermarket weep

90 replies

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:00

Went to supermarket earlier to do christmas stuff with husband, baby and 3 year old. Children have both been ill all week with coughs, vomiting. Today I have sore throat, headache, aches, sickness etc. but manned it up to go get stuff for Christmas. I actually quite enjoy the Christmas food shop. I like cooking, enjoy choosing things.

Within a couple of mins of getting into the fruit and veg bit the baby starts whining, so I pick her up to comfort her, then look around and can see no sign of my husband anyway. Literally we've been in the shop five mins, I'd only put a bag of satsuma son the trolley. So I look around the fruit and veg got him, try to pick up veg, realise I can't carry anything as he has trolley and I'm holding baby. So think he must have gone into the next aisle or two. So I go look, no sign of him. Cue then half an hour of me looking round entire supermarket without seeing him, feeling increasingly ill, angry, panicky and worried. At one point have to dash to toilet due to sickness. Eventually I get the customer services to call him on the tannoy.

Turns out he just decided that it'd be quicker to do the shopping on his own, saw me comforting the baby, thought I was taking too long and left me. Taking my bag, phone, the trolley. He knew I was ill. I'm also short sighted, didn't have my glasses and the place was massive and heaving.

I'm surprised that the whole thing freaked me out so much that when he heard the tannoy call and came got me, I ended up having a panic attack and bursting into tears, almost fainting.

He thinks he did nothing wrong. AIBU to be fed up with him? Surely you wouldn't walk off and leave anyone like that without saying, let alone your ill wife and baby?

OP posts:
Whiteworm · 24/12/2012 00:40

Wow, I am shocked at how un-necessarily harsh some of these posts.

"YABVU simply for taking a husband and children shopping and cluttering up supermarket aisles at this time of year. It isn't a family outting. I cannot abide people dithering and getting in the bloody way, towing the family. Had you not taken them, you would have been in and out in a nanosecond" Hollyberrybush, you sound lovely. Not

You were not well and in hindsight you should have stayed at home or done the shop on your own. Your DH was a bit daft not to have said what he was doing. So no, YANBU.

No big deal though. Hope you are feeling better.

MiniMousse · 24/12/2012 00:42

I've had to totally cancel Christmas twice in the past four years due to me catching the vomiting bug. No, not everyone has got some kind of bug at the moment. You, and your sick children, should have been at home not spreading 'the gift that keeps on giving' bugs all round the place just in time for people to get it for Christmas!

ditziness · 24/12/2012 00:48

He walked off with my phone. It was in the change bag hanging off the trolley.

The only thing you'd need to Dettol wipe would be my baby and the bag of tangerines, as I didn't have a free hand to touch anything else.

So consensus is, I was a thoughtless selfish idiot for going in the first place. Can't particularly defend myself so I think I'll slope off and continue to sulk about the whole thing. Thanks ladies, always value AUBU straight talking, even when I get told. Night

OP posts:
Whiteworm · 24/12/2012 00:52

ditziness, ignore the horrible comments. I think that some people see AIBU as a green light to be bitchy.

Whiteworm · 24/12/2012 00:53

There is a difference between straight talking and just being rude

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 00:57

Yeah, lay off the OP, she's ill!

(cough on them ditz Grin)

FridgeBenefits · 24/12/2012 00:57

I aimed for straight talking but it's probably come across as rude, not intentional, sorry.
I am genuinely Hmm though that people are so willing to share their Germans.

FridgeBenefits · 24/12/2012 00:58

Oh bloody buggering hell germs, not Germans!
Sodding autocorrect Blush

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 01:00

Their Germans Fringe?

Have you got a couple stashed in your bag or something? Grin

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 01:00

Hahahaha Grin

polkadotsrock · 24/12/2012 01:04

Blimey, I feel like I need to apologise for leaving the house today, despite having no illness that I'm aware of. Hardly crime of the century, our heads are all up our arses this time of year so I think you can be forgiven for shopping and your silly dh can be forgiven for sodding off in the name of heroism. Everyone's a winner. 'Cept anyone who is ill tomorrow coz that's all your fault OP!!

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 24/12/2012 01:06

I also think you were being a bit thoughtless and selfish to spread your misery round, but you have taken the responses so well, fair play ditziness really hope you feel better soon Smile

DH and I (and the kids) have a system in supermarkets of where we'll go if we get separated too long just cos it's a pain in the arse traipsing round looking for someone,maybe you could do the same? Meet by the milk if you've been out of sight for a while or something?

FlourFace · 24/12/2012 01:43

Why do families go supermarket shopping together? I find it very odd. It's a job for one person.

As everyone else has said, YWBU, OP.

Get well soon.

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 02:04

Some people like spending time together Flour, even if it's in a shop.

Unreasonable, I know!

(we can't stand each other don't though Grin can't afford the temptations of a big shop and just do little ones instead)

FlourFace · 24/12/2012 02:16

Crazy talk, Agent! Grin I just think one person can be in and out super quick and then you can do something a bit more fun Smile

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree · 24/12/2012 02:25

Some of us are not allowed to drive (medical thing), but can't reach the supermarket without either a car or three buses. It currently costs me just a whisker under £10 to get to my nearest supermarket by bus, I'd rather spend that on petrol and get dh to drive me.

When you have those circumstances, and small children, it can be unavoidable taking children with you.

TenPercenter · 24/12/2012 02:29

God Dp seems to think that a trip to Tesco constitutes a family outing my cortisol levels shoot up the moment I enter a supermarket with the whole family, it really sends me psycho.

The children all do my head in and Dp dithers for ages choosing stuff, I just cannot do it, I hate it so much.

You were certainly bu for going out ill and wantonly spreading your germs, we have all just gotten over bugs, it's no wonder they spread so easily.

I cannot imagine how anyone actually enjoys shopping, it's just so stressful.

LadyKinbote · 24/12/2012 02:33

YANBU - he left you alone with a baby and without your phone, and then went round the supermarket in the stupidest way possible! I can imagine DH doing that and I would not be happy. And don't feel bad about spreading germs. The others are right and of course you should stay at home but I suspect that like me you were brought up to struggle on regardless so do it without thinking sometimes. Don't feel bad. Try to enjoy Christmas, you should all be better by Tuesday Xmas Smile

TenPercenter · 24/12/2012 02:37

Tapir, children and dp could wait in the car, dp go on his own, or go to a park if nearby? Neither of us drive, but online shopping is now cheaper for us, cost £10 for a taxi home the other week, won't be doing that again, it's not even that far away Shock.

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs · 24/12/2012 02:43

If he'd have told you what he was going to do it would have saved the whole problem from happening.
Sorry you had a panic attack I haven't had one in many years.
You really need to start wearing your glasses at all times, I could be standing the same isle as my Dh and wouldn't find him without mine on, if he walked off with my bag, and glasses I'd have had a panic attack too.

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree · 24/12/2012 02:54

Ten They probably could wait in the car, but tbh I wouldn't like to be stuck in a car with small dcs and limited distractions; the park is a good idea for during the day in good weather.

Dh and I currently work opposing shifts, so time together is precious (even if it means going shopping together). Thankfully our dcs are teens and can either come along and be very helpful, or be left at home; dh does the shop 9 times out of 10 though, and he's fab at it.

OP - YANBU. He should have told you what he was going to do, and given you your bag.

MidniteScribbler · 24/12/2012 03:24

No sympathy at all from me. I'm sitting here holding a sick little eleven month old who is going to be sick for his first christmas, and I won't be able to fly in the morning (because I'm not enough of a cunt to subject a plane full of people to the flu). So wasted flights as well.

Keep your fucking germs in your own fucking house.

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 03:28

The OP didn't deliberately go to the shop knowing she had the black death Midnite.

But poor you and your little DS!

Where were you due to fly to?

Have you got enough provisions in to tide you over?

Toughasoldboots · 24/12/2012 03:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moominsarescary · 24/12/2012 03:37

Sod that, dp does the food shopping on his own. He's perfectly capable of buying what we need.