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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect DH to see to my "bedroom needs" while I'm pregnant?

79 replies

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 08:50

I'm pregnant with our third and this pregnancy my hormones have gone crazy. My libido is unrecognisable. I've gone from a once every ten 10 days kind of person to needing sex constantly. It's driving me crazy.

When I wake in the morning the only cure for my nausea is an orgasm but as I'm feeling sick at that point I can't move much so DH has kindly been starting the day with, er, oral favours. Then I find myself thinking of nothing but sex all day long. It's torture and on return from work, as soon as the kids are in bed, I jump DH for a long session of anything he pleases. I also need it to get to sleep later each night and to return to sleep after each pregnancy induced wee wake (once or twice a night).

So far DH has been utterly obliging but we are about to go to his parents for Christmas and he says there can be nothing while there. I'm actually in a panic and have been crying all morning. I feel utterly out of control. Like I have a physical illness he says he won't treat.

AIBU to ask to cut down how long we are away for or am I an hormonal lunatic who needs to deny herself? I fear the latter.

This is not a wind up it's really serious and totally alien to my normal life.

OP posts:
mamababa · 23/12/2012 08:53

My DH would think you were the woman of his deeamsGrin surely you could do something at the inlaws but keep quiet?!

QuietNinjaChristmasSpecial · 23/12/2012 08:57

You can't force him to have sex with you and I can understand why he doesn't want to. Can you ask him to masturbate you as a compromise? If not its a bit tough really.

Jojobells1986 · 23/12/2012 08:59

Rofl! Best OP ever! Grin

Sorry, nothing helpful to add. I don't see why he can't help you out with your... situation... as he has been in the mornings as long as you promise to be quiet & noone's likely to wander in! Hopefully it'll calm down a bit soon!

strumpetpumpkin · 23/12/2012 09:03

cant you have a wank? You can get quite quiet vibrators

Montybojangles · 23/12/2012 09:03

Take a sex toy and use it alone?
Have to say I wouldn't feel too comfortable having sex at my parents (would just be wrong somehow) but not so worried at ILs if quiet. just psychology I guess.

Shakirasma · 23/12/2012 09:05

YABU nobody should ever be pressured into performing sexual acts when they don't want to, no matter what their reason or even if they simply don't feel like it.

There is nothing like making sex obligatory to kill a good sex life.

It would be selfish to cut short a trip because of this when you are surely capable of sorting yourself out.

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 23/12/2012 09:06

Just jerk off - you can't rely on someone else to fulfil your needs and it's not fair on him.

Why aren't you any good at the kit kat shuffle? Grin

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 09:15

I can't believe I'm sharing this but when I see to myself the climax is much weaker and less satiating than what DH can do to me. I will resort to that (as I have had to at work a few times because that is how awful my hormones are - I never help myself in normal life). I have never used a sex toy and can't imagine how I would source one in the next 24 hours.

I can be silent throughout and DH's parents' house is huge so I think this issue is psychological for him. I do understand and is never force him. My OP maybe makes him sound like a coerced participant thus far and that is misleading, he has been very happy with his utterly unrecognisable sexlife.

OP posts:
Emmielu · 23/12/2012 09:16

oh bless you op. there's a lot of serious people on this thread today. lighten up a little? (I'm gonna get flamed for that)

is there any chance you can stick to oral first thing in the morning or at night and a bit of foreplay. you must be going nuts otherwise.

iloveshortshorts · 23/12/2012 09:17

Yabu
Control yourself!

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 09:19

Have others ever experienced this pregnancy induced madness? With my first pregnancy I went right off all sex. With the second I was slightly more interested but absolutely nothing like this. What if it never goes away????????????

OP posts:
iloveshortshorts · 23/12/2012 09:21

Sorry OP have i read that right, you've had to masturbate whilst at work?

(Sorry if thats wrong)

kerstina · 23/12/2012 09:23

All I can say is he will probably change his mind when you are there ! After all he is enjoying it too ! Keep us updated I think you will be fine Smile

Devora · 23/12/2012 09:23

It wasn't my personal experience, no, but I have heard of other women going through this.

Ann Summers shop on your high street? (First and only time I will ever recommend them!)

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 09:24

Um, yes, you read right. I'm hanging my head in shame. This. Is. Not. Me. I am not anything like this person normally. I never even think about sex on an average day.

OP posts:
IvantaOuiOui · 23/12/2012 09:25

Nip to Ann Summers and get a vibrator. Read the Literotica website. I was a bit like this. I even had orgasms in my sleep. Found myself eyeing up the (scared) window cleaner one day when DH was late home.

MariahScarey · 23/12/2012 09:26

Oh FFs op. reign it in.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 23/12/2012 09:31

You def need a vibe. The little bullet ones are very quiet and small should you need to hide it. It may not be as intense as what you are wanting, but you will just have to make do temporarily.

everlong · 23/12/2012 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 23/12/2012 09:41

I was a bit, not quite as bad though, like this with number 2. Constantly horny. It can happen!
Dh was more than happy to join in.

In fact with both my pregnancies we were bonking daily until hours before labour. You need to wee toy, rationally you will be fine.

Theicingontop · 23/12/2012 09:42

cant you have a wank? LOL

^ that.

MrsKeithRichards · 23/12/2012 09:42

Check Ann summers if you have one near or even larger boots have little vibes

hermioneweasley · 23/12/2012 09:48

Assuming he's the one who got you pregnant he needs to man up and sort you out.

Teeb · 23/12/2012 09:59

yabu and a bit scary to be honest.

Moominsarescary · 23/12/2012 10:07

Maybe he will change his mind when you get there, if he doesn't though tough! You will just have to make do with DIY for a few days.

How far along are you?