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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect DH to see to my "bedroom needs" while I'm pregnant?

79 replies

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 08:50

I'm pregnant with our third and this pregnancy my hormones have gone crazy. My libido is unrecognisable. I've gone from a once every ten 10 days kind of person to needing sex constantly. It's driving me crazy.

When I wake in the morning the only cure for my nausea is an orgasm but as I'm feeling sick at that point I can't move much so DH has kindly been starting the day with, er, oral favours. Then I find myself thinking of nothing but sex all day long. It's torture and on return from work, as soon as the kids are in bed, I jump DH for a long session of anything he pleases. I also need it to get to sleep later each night and to return to sleep after each pregnancy induced wee wake (once or twice a night).

So far DH has been utterly obliging but we are about to go to his parents for Christmas and he says there can be nothing while there. I'm actually in a panic and have been crying all morning. I feel utterly out of control. Like I have a physical illness he says he won't treat.

AIBU to ask to cut down how long we are away for or am I an hormonal lunatic who needs to deny herself? I fear the latter.

This is not a wind up it's really serious and totally alien to my normal life.

OP posts:
wallypops · 23/12/2012 10:14

I was (a bit) like this with my first, but my OH found me repugnant (his words). You could probably ask for a bit of oral at his parents - assuming he feels it's "wrong" to do it at his parents!! Otherwise I think it's going to have to be a bit of self help, and a vibrator. Honestly not difficult to find, even on a Sunday.

HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 15:24

Thanks all. I'm calmer now and haven't taken DH into the bedroom all day (polishes halo). I've decided the harsher critics on this thread should be listened to: it's time I controlled my libido. I'm going to deny myself for 24 hours in the hope that it's like an itch and the less you, scratch it, the less it itches.

I'm 20ish weeks. When did others find their libido decreased?

OP posts:
sparklypuddles · 23/12/2012 15:48

Ahh you lucky thing haha! i had hyperemesis my whole pregnancy, the thought of sex was one reliable way of making me throw up faster when the nausea was building speed up for some reason!
had a very embarrassing messy try early on in the sickness and ex didn't protest at me not trying again after that haha

He's a lucky bugger should be very grateful! He could easily have had to go 9 months WITHOUT!
though maybe invest in a "bullet" vibrator from ann summers - they're tiny and not scary!! Xmas Smile

BinksToEnlightenment · 23/12/2012 15:50

Oh god this is totally normal. It's all the extra blood flow in that area.

Enjoy it when you can get it. Why should you feel bad? It's nothing to feel guilty about.

I have very happy memories of this time.

It didn't go away until the baby came. That put me off like a hot fart.

Idocrazythings · 23/12/2012 16:45

Are you having a boy? I was extra horny withy DS. Gave me an insight into what it must be like for men ?

ledkr · 23/12/2012 16:55

Dh won't have sex if pil are here. It really annoys me cos I had older dc when we met so had to overcome having quiet sex whilst they were in.
Op you will just have to strum your way through the rest if your pregnancy.

SantaisBarredfromhavingStella · 23/12/2012 17:36

Absolutely pmsl at this OP-get yourself a vibe or yes have a wank Xmas Grin
FWIW I was as horny as a ten peckered owl with my 2nd pregnancy-It does subside Sad

tinkertitonk · 23/12/2012 17:45

OP you are a slut. My slut of a DH has offered to help you out, he says it's a gentleman's obligation.

carabos · 23/12/2012 17:52

It's a boy. I read somewhere once that its something to do with testosterone and it does make you have a more "masculine" sex drive.

For some reason I think it might have been Ruby Wax writing or talking about it .

vintageviolets · 23/12/2012 17:54

At work? Not like sitting on the checkout?
Or whilst stacking shelves Shock

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers · 23/12/2012 17:57

Winning sentence of the day -

That put me off like a hot fart

Xmas Grin
HormoneHell · 23/12/2012 18:02

Vintage - I had the decency to go into the loos at work. I still have a modicum of decency left (or so I hope).

I have no idea whether it's a boy or a girl but I have only had girls so far so if it is a boy then that would explain the difference in the pregnancies.

Still resisting DH. It's been 12 hours since I last succumbed, I am a hero.

OP posts:
notnagging · 23/12/2012 18:15

Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me. If it was the other way around your dh would get flamed & everyone would say poor you. Don't pressurise him into having sex if he doesn't want to. How would you feel?

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow · 23/12/2012 18:21

FFS she's not pressuring him, she's said she understands, hence what should she do?!

5madthings · 23/12/2012 18:24

I was desperate for sex with my first four pregnancies, all boys. With no 5 i wasnt, no 5 was dd. So maybe there is something to do with the gender thing?

Fwiw my dp at times felt uncomfortable wirh sex when i was pregnant, it waa frustrating but i entertained myself...
I can understand your dh being reluctant when at his parents, maybe he will get over it. If not you will have to diy.

whois · 23/12/2012 18:27

Aw OP, sorry but I had to laugh.

Take your rabbit with you ;-)

McChristmasPants2012 · 23/12/2012 18:33

I get very horny in pregancy, but I think you are in need of a rabbit vibrator :)

TwoFacedCows · 23/12/2012 18:35

get your self a sex toy! i recommend a Lelo, the ones with the sticky out bit like a rabbit are the best. most websites will do next day delivery

TwoFacedCows · 23/12/2012 18:35

and they are super quiet and rechargeable. honestly almost dumped my DH when i got one!

Viviennemary · 23/12/2012 18:39

yabu. Take a cold shower.

foreverondiet · 23/12/2012 21:11

Hi OP - I experienced this in one of my pregnancies, although not to the extent you describe and it did wane as I got big and uncomfortable - probably peaked at around 22-24 weeks.

Pickles101 · 23/12/2012 21:44

I was like this when I was pregnant but I had a DD. Poor DD must be filled to the brim with testosterone Sad

hermioneweasley · 23/12/2012 22:05

Guys, give her a break. This isn't a lack of self control, it's a hormone/pregnancy thing. She's not a pervert.

I remain of the view that he needs to help you out.

EasilyBored · 23/12/2012 22:12

I'm a bit jealous to be honest, the only bedroom need I had when pregnant was for a fucking MASSIVE pillow and the entire duvet just for me.

peaceandlovebunny · 23/12/2012 22:14

Xmas Grin i do hope you are genuine. the idea of a rampant nympho pregnant lady at her in-laws over christmas is somehow amusing.

take a vibrator.