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Original poster

to think that Fathers don't always crave sons?

122 replies

autumnlights12 · 21/12/2012 13:03

I have three girls.
Yet another person this morning made yet another snide remark about my 'poor husband' and how we 'might have a boy next time' and it got me wondering.
How do men feel?
How does your partner feel?
Did he want a boy?
Does he have all girls and is happy with that?
My husband adores his daughters and is adamant that he didn't ever yearn for a boy.
Do most men hanker after a son?

OP posts:
charlottehere · 21/12/2012 15:45

I have 3 DDs and now a four week old son, Dh would have been happy with a girl or boy (as I was) but would have liked to have a son if it happened. Smile

And random people.............no we didnt keep trying for a boy

no Dh didn't finally create a son well he did

no we aren't stopping because we have a boy, we were stopping regardless

GinGirl · 21/12/2012 15:46

Pregnant with DC4 and almost everyone has made the 'you must be hoping for a boy' comment. I tend to respond, 'no actually, we're hoping for a baby'

Have said to DH that if it is a boy, we'll have to have a 5th so that people don't think we kept trying til we got a male heir... He's not going for it so far!

MULLYPEEP · 21/12/2012 15:47

Yes I have heard people genuinely sorry for my husband and delighted for other people when the man gets their boy. I just smile kindly nodding sagely and think to myself "you crazy stupid old fucker stop darkening my door"

BiteyWeeFucker · 21/12/2012 15:47

My SIL's father (goodness that's confusing... my brother's wife's father) wrote 'Best wishes for lots of love and male sons' on her wedding card Shock

BiteyWeeFucker · 21/12/2012 15:47

Sorry, it was male children, male sons, duh!

MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 21/12/2012 15:57

This is my first and it's a boy, DP was very happy and was hoping it was a boy. He did say he wouldn't have been disappointed with a girl, as long as healthy etc but he always pictured his first to be a son. Fair dos, I felt the same!

MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 21/12/2012 15:58

To add, my father always wanted a girl and was over the moon when I came along.

Jingleallthejay · 21/12/2012 16:20

I bet your desperate for a girl to dress up aren't you

Bleurgh to I hate all that It really gets on my wick I have girls and never thought of them as a plaything to doll up,

Jingleallthejay · 21/12/2012 16:22

I met a old boot friend of my aunts not long after dd2 Oh hi jay how are you what did you have a girl said me ' aww never mind you can try again for a boy Hmm

adeucalione · 21/12/2012 18:17

There will obviously be loads of parents who genuinely didn't have a preference, or who had a preference but were definitely not disappointed when their 'wrong gender' baby arrived.

But it would be daft not to accept that some people genuinely do crave a son or daughter specifically, although they may not admit it openly. Whilst the sex might not matter while they are children, some people will imagine doing specific things with older teens or adult children.

For example, my DM said she always wanted a girl to go clothes shopping with, and looked forward to the day that she could help me plan my wedding, or support me through a pregnancy, or be present at the birth of her DGC.

But yes, it's incredible rude to suggest that a new parent might be disappointed or to imply that they were hoping for a different outcome.

sweetkitty · 21/12/2012 18:38

DP has since admitted that since DS was born after 3DDs that he is happy he has a son.

I was happy to have four daughters, had her name chosen and everything, was so shocked when that penis appeared on the screen. I do love I have a son now, he's so different to the girls even tomboy DD2. He's just a lump of boyness, he looks completely different to the girls, they are all blonde blue eyed then this dark haired, brown eyed mini-me of his father popped out. He's wild but such a mummy's boy too. I love that I get to parent a boy.

I have to admit I always wanted a daughter.

When I was pregnant with nos 3 and 4 we had all the trying for a boy comments. I was even holding newborn DD3 and getting commiserations about her lack of a penis, a beautiful baby girl, how could anyone say "that's a shame"

AdoraJingleBells · 21/12/2012 18:38

My OH has a son from his previous marriage, two DDs with me, but he's not fussy. He genuinely is just happy to have healthy children.

It's his mother who says being "surrounded by women" is a problem.

TalkativeJim · 21/12/2012 19:24

My DH wanted girls

exoticfruits · 21/12/2012 19:29

It is only as silly as people saying to me that 'I am missing out on mother/DD relationship. I should think that most men are like me-just happy to have the gift of a healthy DC.

princessx2 · 21/12/2012 21:05

My husband only wanted daughters and had no desire for a son. On the birth of DD2, FIL declared 'Another girl-never mind'. DH replied that he was delighted and had been hoping for another daughter. FIL thought that because his precious daughter had DD then DS, that the same would happen here Hmm

kilmuir · 21/12/2012 21:10

some people are just plain rude. we have 3DD and then had a surprise DC4 who happened to be a boy. yes, lovely to have a son, but we were happy whichever sex the baby had been.
someone did say to DH, ' at last she gave you a son!' ignorant person was soon put in her place

CatchingMockingbirds · 21/12/2012 21:12

DP was over the moon when his dd was born, he hoped she was a girl. This pg he's hoping for a girl too.

CatchingMockingbirds · 21/12/2012 21:13

The 'poor husband' comment, isn't that referring to him being outnumbered male to female at home?

upstart68 · 21/12/2012 21:59

Well as one of three girls, I kind of thought that too Catching. Not so much to do with dreams not being fulfilled - just everything being rather feminine dominated.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 22:11

My DH said he wasn't fussed but was convinced we were having a girl from day 1 (as was I ), and we did. Tbh I suspect that deep down that is what he wanted too. He doesn't get on that well with his younger and has no desire whatsoever to have any more children.

Going back 30-odd years my dad wanted a boy, possibly because there was no-one to carry on the family name- and I think maybe because he lost his dad.at 2.5yo and so wanted to experience a father/son relationship.

Ironically, my dad is not 'blokey' at all, hates footy, loves.art & music, wells up watching Disney films. He ended up with just me - we are so alike we joke that we must have been twins in a previous life and are best friends as well as father & daughter.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 22:12

younger brother

Theicingontop · 21/12/2012 22:16

OH wanted a boy. Very much. I was hoping for a girl!

When we had the sexing scan and found out we were having a boy, I was surprised to find myself over the moon anyway. OH maintains to this day that it was his psychic influence that made him a boy Hmm

He says his reasons are that girls are icky, and have icky girl problems, and grow up to marry men that he will definitely not approve of

TenPercenter · 21/12/2012 22:36

We had a girl first, when pg with dc2 I wanted a boy, dp would have preferred another girl, both of us not bothered next time.

PrincessScrumpy · 21/12/2012 22:44

We have dd1 and free. On announcing dtds were expected dh received sympathy at work. He came home fuming - truly loves his girls and if we are in a position to adopt in a few years, we'd adopt a girl.
Also been told or life must be hell... Well out was when feel nearly died but now it's fab.
I was asked if we would try for a boy so I said we really want 6 girls. This isn't true, 3 is enough for us but it was fun to shock.

Vix286 · 21/12/2012 22:46

We are currently having the "shall we have another?" discussion. We have a DD. My DH has said that he would say lets have another one now if he could definitely have a boy, as he would like one of each. He is devoted to DD and that comment really surprised me as he had never expressed a preference before. Guess you never can tell!!