Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

[Preposteroushypothesis]

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

I do find the boarding school thing a bit odd though. I assume the waxist you are using does obtain parental permission before she waxes young girls?

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

Massive cross posts!

That makes sense 1605

[Bluestocking]

I refer you to Caitlin Moran's question - are the men doing it? I'm pretty sure Turkish, Kurdish and Iranian men aren't waxing every inch of their skin the instant a hair has the temerity to poke out. So while the female habit of total depilation may be longer-established in these cultures than in the UK, I still don't think it's necessarily evidence of not having any hang-ups or having a healthy attitude to how a mature woman's body really looks.

[Preposteroushypothesis]

bluestocking the girls do live in the area, their mums take them to get waxed before they go off to start school and then presumable when they are back for weekends or holidays. I don't see what is so unbelievable about that. The area is VERY wealthy and I know she is right that a lot of families there send their children to public school, boarding or in one of the (many) local independent day schools. That's where my knowledge of the private school aspect of this ends.

spuddy I agree there seems to be a hang up about the type of hair removal that when I thought it through I didn't understand, this is why I came to the conclusion that I would allow my DD to have a normal bikini line wax if it was needed, I would NEVER allow a Hollywood.

[1605]

Bluestocking, it's personal taste rather than a cultural thing, surely?

If you're as old as I am, you'll also know there are fashions in body hair just as there are in hairstyles for your head.

As it happens, I know several young straight men (of various cultural / ethnic backgrounds) who remove their chest hair, because that's what's trendy now.

[motherinferior]

Well, my nine and 11 year olds are scandalised that I even shave my legs.

[marriedandwreathedinholly]

fwiw my almost 18 year old ds is presently waxing his chest . Appreciates it's off thread but it may be relevant to the argument about opinions about hair amongst young people. I just raise my eyebrows and do a fgs. I certainly can't stop it.

[takataka]

yeah...Im struggling with this....probably because I don't do much hair removal myself....

I cant swallow the teasing reason for doing it...it reminds me of someone I know who was going to get their 9 year olds ears pinned because she was being teased about having big sticky out ears......but I do realise that surgery is different to hair removal

I dunno

[Spuddybean]

It is so hard for fair cultures to understand it is not a sexual thing. I went to a secondary school with lots of asian, caribbean and middle eastern girls and it was really common.

Even now in my 30's i wince if i go to a waxer who is young, white british and fair skinned they always visibly recoil when they see my hair, they always suggest i may have a disease, they always make me feel like a freak.

[takataka]

[1605]

Married Yes, your boy is same age as ours. He's bare-chested naturally, but shaves his pits because he uses underarm roll-on and because "girls prefer it".

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

Fair point Bluestocking, and you're right, even from someone with my perspective, there could still be considerable hang ups. All I can say is that it wasn't like that in my experience, and it doesn't appear to be from the outside of people I see who are still a part of their native culture.

I have fond memories of nice days out where my best mate and our Mums would take us to be waxed and then have lunch in town. Waxing seems to hurt far more now thanit ever did at 13!

[Spuddybean]

takataka - you don't believe i was teased?

[Spuddybean]

brazilian is a 'landing strip' left.

[WildWorld2004]

My dd is 8 and has light hair on her legs and i would never think about waxing or shaving her legs let alone anywhere else.

[takataka]

no spuddy of coure i believe you

I mean, I don't like the message that if you are teased about some aspect of yourself, you must change it to make the teasing stop....like the girl with the ears

but easy to say when I am not the one being teased

[morethanpotatoprints]

First of all, I think its ridiculous and no amount of justification makes it acceptable.

Secondly, It shows how the mothers of these boarding school kids have no control over their daughters.
The comment about them shaving if not allowed a wax treatment.
Where the hell would they get the razors from. Unless they are allowed to go shopping themself.
So glad my dd nearly 9 has no such ideas, but they wouldn't last long if she did

[takataka]

Yeeeugh! I was just sick a little bit spuddy landing strip??

[Spuddybean]

When i met DP he shaved his chest (he was 29 - 3 years ago). I didn't realise till i said something about liking a bit of hair and he told me he shaved his off as every other woman has preferred it - now he is au naturale :)

[1605]

FWIW I've a real problem with Caitlin Moran appointing herself Queen Feminist of our generation. (I had a problem with Germaine Greer in the olden days too).

[takataka]

my 2 year old dd2 has a thick dark mono-brow....when shall i get that waxed? what if she gets teased at reception stage...is 5 years old ok?

[Bluestocking]

1605, it's very hard to distinguish "personal preference" from "cultural norm", isn't it?
And yes, I'm well aware that in the 1970s women in wank mags sported luxuriant muffs, but the tendency seems to be in the direction of less and less hair - although if you have an example of body hair suddenly becoming fashionable again, I'd love to hear about it.

[Spuddybean]

yep, pretty blueerch.

Altho i have a neat triangle at the front and 'complete clearance' from mid labia all the way to anus. I am soooo hairy there it gets tangled in tampon string and when wiping myself. sorry tmi. but really nothing to do with porn for me.

[1605]

Erm, Movember?

Several young men I know have kept their facial hair well into December because they liked the look.

[Spuddybean]

i would say when she comes home sobbing and refuses to go to school taka.