Do I do christmas this year because I know everyone else at synagogue is!!!!!!!!

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This is a bit long but don't want to drip feed. I was brought up no particular religion and I married a Jewish man. I converted to Judaism before we got married partly so we could bring our children up in the same tradition, partly because Judaism just talked to me and partly because I knew it mattered to DH. I have been Jewish for 5 years and I really value it in my life and how it shapes our family life. I am happy being Jewish. Ok so before we had kids we just didn't do Christmas which was fine with me because doing christmas with a dh who didn't understand the traditions or feel anything for it felt a bit hollow. Then I converted and I sort of thought christmas was something I was going to give up, I felt celebrating seemed a bit odd now I was Jewish. Plus my childhood christmas's were difficult and I'd always had some complicated feelings about christmas although a part of me would have liked to turn this around in my family.

Then we had kids..........

Our dc are so small they don't really understand all what christmas is and they will be having gifts from santa because to me that's not religious. BUT I am increasingly feeling I am short changing my dc with them not having a proper christmas with all that magic. I thought ok I'll do the Jewish tradition and do chinese meal and video and try to embrace that tradition instead (felt a bit shit but I was trying to be a good jew I suppose ha ha). Dh doesn't mind if we do christmas or not, he is a true darling and says if I'm happy he's happy and as he sees it as all a bit meaningless anyway it doesn't matter to him if we do it.

Anyway I digress. So here's the punchline. I have invited people from our synagogue out for a chinese meal and ALL of them have said they have prior arrangements with family and it basically transpires that they are ALL doing christmas!!!!!! Part of me finds this totally hilarious but part of me feels I've been sodding duped when I didn't do it for years and they were all doing it.

So, this year do I do christmas????????

I would. i know a lot of jewish people through work with varying degrees of observancy (is that even a word??) and nearly all of them have a cultural Christmas.

i do christmas, but i am not religious.

for me it's about spending time with family with good food, good wine and spoiling the kids to present they wouldn't normally have.

the majority of people who "do" christmas are not doing anything relating to the religious aspects of it.. :)

im Jewish

we generally all have a meal together and have fun

no tree or presents tho

i'm not doing Xmas as such but making the most of family and friends being off work and around

why do you feel you're short changing your kids? for me it's a relief to not do Xmas

did you do Chanukah? only asking because that;s a lovely festival and lots of opportunities for presents etc

The only ones I know not doing it are Israelis married to fellow Israelis.

I'm doing Xmas, mostly for the children but also because I married a man who isn't Jewish and he's taught me that it's about fun.

Like you, growing up winter holidays were pretty miserable.

you can do christmas. christmas doesn't exclude anyone, believers or unbelievers, all religions and none. maybe you won't be having a celebration of the incarnation, but you can have a good dinner and a party alongside the rest of the country. its cultural, or religious, either or both.

I'm an about-to-be-a-Jewish-convert married to a Jewish lady. Her parents don't do Christmas so we're going round to a friend's house and doing it there instead! (She's not so observant).

I think it's hilarious they're all doing it...even the Rabbi!!!! I like the emphasis on a cultural christmas and although my childhood christmas's were difficult I know how to throw a good christmas as an adult. I must be very naive because I assumed they didn't do it. Mind you it's reform so not so observant. We do hanukkah but that's not a replacement for christmas is it?

How are they doing Christmas?

My Muslim neighbours do Christmas, but only inasmuch as they spend the day with family and have a turkey for dinner. I'm not sure whether they do presents, though they do buy us one.

I see nothing wrong with that. We're not religious and we do Christmas. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

Maybe you could celebrate the end of the days getting darker and light lots of candles, have some fairy lights and lots of yummy "christmassy" food.

I worked with some jewish kids and around christmas we would sing the let it snow song, nice and wintery but no mention of jesus or christmas.

It is a great opertunity to make your own traditions, the snowman cartoon is one of the best memories from my childhood christmasses and I don't think it has christian references.

What Squeakytoy said! I, my husband, my family, my in-laws are without faiths of any kind. But we celebrate Christmas, with varying levels of militancy about cutting out religious references. It's just a modern winter festival now. You have to make a special effort to make it Christian, to be honest.
feels slightly sorry for Christians searching for religious Christmas stuff

oh another fun thing could be to make a gingerbread house, you can buy them from ikea :)

I love hearing about Jewish culture and traditions! If I was to visit a Chinese restaurant on Christmas day, would it be full of Jewish people?

I have loads of Jewish friends. All of them celebrate Christmas to a certain degree.

Although a few of the also have had 2 kitchens built in their houses. A kosher one and a none kosher one so they can cheat and feel leas guilty. Always makes me laugh.

We're Jewish. We do Christmas dinner with hats and crackers, pudding and turkey etc. But no pigs in blankets! No tree, no presents, no advent related stuff, no carols. But another great opportunity to have a family gathering on a day we all have off work.

You see bonzo this is my point, everyone is doing some form of christmas, leave out the tree or not having presents or whatever but there's more christmas in it than not iyswim. Yes morris I THOUGHT they were all down teh chinese but seems many are tucking into turkey lmao.

Under 60% of the population of England and Wales say they're Christian, but celebration of christmas is over 90% (the stats for that less reliable of course as it's not a census question), we're in a pretty secular country and christmas has many secular elements - as you say you have a santa claus giving presents. So no, YWNBU to celebrate christmas and neither are your Jewish friends who are.

Go for it. We're atheists here but still celebrate Christmas.

My mum always reckoned that if you eat bagels and lox for Christmas breakfast you kind of draw the Christianity out of the day.

Mind, you don't want to be taking 'good Jew' lessons from any of my lot.

It sounds great! Do Christmas. Have fun

I'm Irish but I do the whole turkey and pumpkin pie shebang at Thanksgiving. (Though one year we had to have a duck because I left it too late to find a small turkey).

Long before Christ, festivals were held at this time of year. It may have been a way of breaking up the long winter. You could have a feast in honour of Mithra if you don't want to call it Christmas!

honeytea, now i have to go to ikea which we all know will spark a debate with the DP and i will end up buying meatballs

We aren't religious at all and just take the elements which we like and make them work for us. Living in the Southern Hemisphere we celebrate family and have a big family meal with nutloaf, roast vegetables, salads, cherries and strawberries. We also do presents and Santa for the children. Make Christmas what you want it to be. I have very fond memories of celebrating Christmas like this as a child.

I'm an atheist but I celebrate christmas. As northern europeans, we have always needed a mid-winter festival to see us through the dark winter days. Christianity highjacked that festival, but I don't see that as a reason not to celebrate something that is part of the British culture.