Do I do christmas this year because I know everyone else at synagogue is!!!!!!!!

[appletarts]

This is a bit long but don't want to drip feed. I was brought up no particular religion and I married a Jewish man. I converted to Judaism before we got married partly so we could bring our children up in the same tradition, partly because Judaism just talked to me and partly because I knew it mattered to DH. I have been Jewish for 5 years and I really value it in my life and how it shapes our family life. I am happy being Jewish. Ok so before we had kids we just didn't do Christmas which was fine with me because doing christmas with a dh who didn't understand the traditions or feel anything for it felt a bit hollow. Then I converted and I sort of thought christmas was something I was going to give up, I felt celebrating seemed a bit odd now I was Jewish. Plus my childhood christmas's were difficult and I'd always had some complicated feelings about christmas although a part of me would have liked to turn this around in my family.

Then we had kids..........

Our dc are so small they don't really understand all what christmas is and they will be having gifts from santa because to me that's not religious. BUT I am increasingly feeling I am short changing my dc with them not having a proper christmas with all that magic. I thought ok I'll do the Jewish tradition and do chinese meal and video and try to embrace that tradition instead (felt a bit shit but I was trying to be a good jew I suppose ha ha). Dh doesn't mind if we do christmas or not, he is a true darling and says if I'm happy he's happy and as he sees it as all a bit meaningless anyway it doesn't matter to him if we do it.

Anyway I digress. So here's the punchline. I have invited people from our synagogue out for a chinese meal and ALL of them have said they have prior arrangements with family and it basically transpires that they are ALL doing christmas!!!!!! Part of me finds this totally hilarious but part of me feels I've been sodding duped when I didn't do it for years and they were all doing it.

So, this year do I do christmas????????

Loma Yes, Tu'B Shvat is next. Since on the topic, how do others do the seven species? Particularly, the species you/the kids don't particularly like? I feel I need to try something new with that, it tends not to go well.

I must admit to my shame that I haven't celebrated it since I was a child myself, although our local synagogue had a tree planting session one year: it didn't quite work in the frozen February soil of England .

Yes, it doesn't work as well in our weather. I try to at least do the foods though but the last couple of years it didn't go well (one doesn't like this, the other doesn't like that, I end up with a plate of once bitten food). I think I need to find combo recipes to hide make things better, I think. Also, taking drawing pads out to draw trees and plants was an idea someone else had for those us not in planting areas which I think I'll try.

Purim is just before DD1's birthday, and it includes decorations and dressing up, so it's her favorite and a major love of hers. They all want to do superheroes this year - I get bits as I find them to reduce the energy load (got a onesie with a cape for DS2, I hope it still fits). Last event I went to most of the adults had major costumes as well, whereas I can just about get a funny hat and a mask. All about prioritizing where I spend my energy.

My DP is Jewish, his Mother has asked to host Christmas dinner this year. She will not cook Turkey or Goose, usually it is Duck. Lots of her family do the same, she also buys the DC presents. She is not religious though and mostly all of her family do similar. Her parents would not have celebrated at all. When I meet members of the family that are older than her they are stricter in their approach. For instance, they were not happy when my DP's cousin had a wedding ceremony in a Catholic church.

I've just stumbled across this scholarly account of 'A Kosher Christmas' if anyone's still looking at this thread: jewishquarterly.org/2012/12/kosher-christmas/. It explains how for some (primarily eastern European origin) Jews, to mark Christmas is anathema, whilst for western European Jews, it would not be an unusual occurrence.

My Hindu, Muslim and Jewish friends all do Xmas in that they have a tree and a meal, and presents.
Most things about xmas are not "Christian" at all anyway. I am an atheist. I put up my tree for the midwinter solstice, we feast and see family and friends to see us through the dark days of midwinter. These are all northern European/scandinavian traditions, and have nothing to do with Jesus.
I went to a very multi cultural school, and have helped celebrate Eid, Diwali and Channukah too. I like it all!

I am also a convert to Judaism. We are raising our DD's as Jews. My older children are Catholic. We celebrate EVERYTHING..my husband's family are conservative Jews..they always have Chinese and a film on Christmas.

Lomaamina, excellent article. Thank you for the link. My husband's family in Russia and Hungary lost many members's in the Holocaust. It is true, they would serve bacon before putting up a Christmas tree. Happily, they are very tolerant about our family traditions.

"BUT I am increasingly feeling I am short changing my dc with them not having a proper christmas with all that magic."

You should do as you see fit, but the sentence above in your opening post made me quite sad. I can see that you want to give them from your cultural heritage, fair enough but will you give them the magic of the jewish festivals from your husbands heritage as well?

I was brought up (and still am) an orthodox jew but remember the childhood magic in all the jewish festivals - and believe in doing the same for my children - staying up late at Passover for the seder - asking the 4 questions and then seeing who would find the afikoman, and wondering if Elijah really had drunk from the wine - dressing up for Purim, hissing haman in the synagogue and stuffing our faces with all the sweets and chocolate our friends brought round, eating apple and honey at rosh hashana. Chanukah candles with the family - and presents and spinning tops, eating very soggy meals in our succah and rushing inside when it rained. Planting trees on tub'shevat, cheesecake on shavuot etc etc.

re: Christmas - it was a day for us of eating chocolate and watching films! Same for my kids. I don't really get Jews celebrating Christmas, sort of feels different to say atheists but each to there own, just because I don't understand it doesn't mean others shouldn't see a reason to.

re: tu b'shevat - plant a tree (might be hard if ground frozen!) and eat 15 different types of tree fruits (ie not bananas or stawberries but can include nuts) - seven species not for tu b'shevat which is about trees rather than crops (of 7 species, wheat and barley not on trees, grapes on vines, but olives, pomegranates, dates & figs would count as fruit).

We don't do christmas as in no tree, no decs, no presents but we do get together either with family or friends for a turkey lunch as do most other jewish families we know.

I'm a non practising Jew and do xmas with atheist DH/ dont do anything Jewish. Am baffled by this talk of Chinese - I don't know any Jews who do this.

Just googled it. Had no idea this was apparently a tradition.

Find it weird for a rabbi to do Xmas I have to say.

I think it's a US tradition, if anything. I'm also a bit over a Rabbi doing Xmas!