To not want to circumcise my son?

[SkiBunnnnny]

I have a 10 day old baby son. Being from the UK it would never normally cross my mind to have him circumcised. However, I am living in Canada where the practice is more common (but not as common as in the US) but on the decline.

DH wants to have him circumcised as he is half Jewish (so DS is 1/4 Jewish) but I feel like I don't want to put DS through an unnecessary medical procedure for purely cosmetic reasons. DH also thinks it is cleaner but I think this is irrelevant in the 21st century when we have indoor plumbing and can easily wash ourselves every day. I also feel that it is not our body to make a decision like that about, if he wants to get himself circumcised in the future he can but he can not get himself "de-circumcised" if he is unhappy about it in the future (DH doesn't believe that any circumcised men wish that they weren't).

My question is: AIBU to force my opinion or is DH opinion more valid since he is male?

sinister my dh is circumcised and I can assure you he gets a lots of pleasure from sex. In fact, it my interest to know, that in the Jewish religion, it is a REQUIREMENT of a man to give pleasure to his wife during sex.

But she might,in this instance. Before reading this thread I didn't know babies can go into a shock state when in pain. Did everyone else know?

I didn't say yours I said some. I have no idea how your son reacted. I wasn't there.

The thought of chopping a part of my son off makes me feel so sad. I also feel very sad for those poor babies laying there completely defenceless not knowing what is about to happen and then .. It must hurt so much, how can anyone put a tiny baby through such hell and still feel able to call themselves a parent? I just don't understand.

They have a foreskin for a reason. They wouldn't be born with it if it wasn't meant to be there. It is their body and should be their choice, just because you created them it doesn't give you a divine right to mutilate them.. Grr. It makes me feel so angry for these poor, poor little boys.

On the topic of "no man would wish they weren't" I should probably share the story of db. Between the ages of 13 and 18 he was incredibly angry with my parents for having him Christened when he had no choice about it.

I'm not sure which bit he particularly resented - the holy water (or just water if, like him you didn't believe) poured on his head, the tea party or the presents but he felt very strongly that my parents had made a decision they had no right to make. As an adult he is no longer resentful but still feels they were wrong.

Suspect if he could resent a bath, a tea party and presents then an adult male could definitely resent the removing of part of his penis.

Re: looking the same. I might be wrong but isn't an adult makes penis bigger and hairier? Perhaps your h could have regular brazillians so they look the same?

My SIL desperately wanted to leave her son intact, her DH was having none of it-he was cut. When their son was14 he needed corrective surgery, it was a botched job! Part of his foreskin was left behind, leaving him in no mans land.

My BIL had the same weak excuse that he wanted his son to look like him

They are not Jewish, but lived in California at the time.

The ignorance on it is astounding. I left a US based message board when the 'god fearing' polly-anna types decided their babies had felt no pain.

They do feel pain, they do go in to shock!

FWIW my DH is cut, they all were in his day, he was done at birth. DH wishes he had been left alone, and made sure our sons were left alone too.

They have never compared penis shapes.

I have my nearly 5wo DS on my lap. 8 days ago, he had his tongue tie cut. It was a necessary procedure, and I read the research that suggests there are few blood vessels in the frenulum, possibly few nerves, that some babies sleep through the procedure & some others do not increase the intensity of cry. I consented to it as a necessary procedure to enable him to feed properly & later on, hopefully, avoid speech issues. DS was crying loudly (in another room to me) & I could tell when they had completed the procedure because he started screaming more, clearly in pain. I had a lump in my throat & almost cried myself. I also have to massage the area to ensure it doesn't grow back, inflicting more pain. I only do this in the knowledge its for his benefit in the long run & that bfing him straight after relieves some of his pain. I defy anyone to listen to that noise & not feel anguish.

OP - YANBU.

Bravo SGF, Bravo.

I'm encouraged that your community practices a more ritual circumcision that doesn't involve cutting the entire foreskin off, Bessie, though I'd still prefer no cutting at all (and I am Jewish, as I said upthread). However, unfortunately that certainly isn't true of all Jewish communities; DH has no foreskin to speak of. And a friend of mine who watched every tiny detail of her son's circumcision as she felt she owed him that much for putting him through it, described the horror of watching her son's entire foreskin being torn loose from the penis and lopped off as his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out from the pain.

Brilliantly put, SGF.

Yes, with SGF on this subject.

SGF Very well put. Sometimes it is better not to pussyfoot around issues such as these. I hope that in 50 years time schoolchildren will be learning about these customs in the past tense.

WTF has that been deleted? That is utterly outrageous.

Why on earth did SGB get deleted? Poor show MN, poor show.

Another one that doesn't understand why SGF was deleted.
There is nothing in the talk guidelines that merited that

YANBU OP

If chopping bits off of babies unnecessarily had nothing to do with religion and tradition, it would have been outlawed a long time ago.

Imo it's barbaric.

Why the hell was that deleted, MNHQ?!

Because Santa, people who choose to mutilate their babies have the right not to be offended. Sheesh! Didn't you know that?

'In fact, it my interest to know, that in the Jewish religion, it is a REQUIREMENT of a man to give pleasure to his wife during sex.'

And this is relevant to mutilating babies how?

And many of you would probably circumcise your sons if you were jewish, muslim or were brought up in a country like the US. You might only hold the views you have because it's the norm here not to do it. Many here seem to think it's because they ar superior to mums who do circumcise for whatever reason. Call these mothers child abusers if it makes you feel better than them.

I don't disagree with it because it's not the norm. I disagree with it because I think it's fucked up to cut a piece off a defenceless baby's genitals.

There's a reason that circumcision is on the decline, Begonia, and that is because people are realising that just because it's the 'norm' where they live, it doesn't make it acceptable. So I disagree.

Many of us would also circumcise our daughters if we lived in Sudan. So what?

Are those willing to do this to their SOS prepared to have the top of their clitoris cut off without anaesthetic?

No? Why not? Same number of nerve endings.

I speak as one whose DH and Ds2 have had this procedure because it was medically necessary. Ds1 didn't have the problem and therefore has been left well alone.

Having seen their suffering post procedure I'd never do this to someone I loved unless it was absolutely necessary for their health.