To not want to circumcise my son?

[SkiBunnnnny]

I have a 10 day old baby son. Being from the UK it would never normally cross my mind to have him circumcised. However, I am living in Canada where the practice is more common (but not as common as in the US) but on the decline.

DH wants to have him circumcised as he is half Jewish (so DS is 1/4 Jewish) but I feel like I don't want to put DS through an unnecessary medical procedure for purely cosmetic reasons. DH also thinks it is cleaner but I think this is irrelevant in the 21st century when we have indoor plumbing and can easily wash ourselves every day. I also feel that it is not our body to make a decision like that about, if he wants to get himself circumcised in the future he can but he can not get himself "de-circumcised" if he is unhappy about it in the future (DH doesn't believe that any circumcised men wish that they weren't).

My question is: AIBU to force my opinion or is DH opinion more valid since he is male?

Can you show him some recent stats? I think the circumcision rate in Canada is only about 30% now- maybe he thinks it's much higher and is worried that your DS will be the odd one out?

Yanbu. Don't do it, its abuse.

You can always stress that you know his parents would only have done what they thought best for him - there must be other things that this applies to? We used to put babies on their front to sleep and wean at 3 or 4 months which research has proven is dangerous on both counts now.

I thought Judaism passed down through the mother's side? So your baby would not be Jewish at all OP, if you are not? (Someone, please correct me if I'm wrong). Unless you have converted of course.

I would never call another mother an abuser for circumcising her son, nor do I consider myself 'superior' because I wouldn't do it to my own son. But that doesn't stop me believing that it is wrong to cut a piece of skin (whether it be whole, part or just the frenulum) from a small baby, without a medical reason.

It can be difficult line OP - I know my (American) family reacted badly when I didn't. Some feel any difference can be an attack on them and it can be a very emotive topic even for those only on the fringes of groups that usually do it and it has a very emotive history. None of the arguments are new - these debates have been going on for thousands of years since the Greco-Syrians banned it (punishment then was death to mother and child, normally with the later around the neck of the former, and the stories of it are still told today - that's how big and emotive it is).

I agree with nicklebaby who gave great insight, say it was advised when he did it, it isn't really anymore and by Jewish rules the child shouldn't have it either.

YANBU completely unnecessary.

If the foreskin was so dangerous and uncles then surely over thousands and millions of years of evolution it would have become smaller at least.

I cannot comprehend mutilating a babies body in the name of a religion.

I think YABVU to be so disregarding of DH's views if he is circumcised and has not been unduly damaged by or can't remember it, I personally don't see your issue with it. It really bugs me that there seems to be an acceptable disregards for DHs and DFs on here, they are as much a part of our DCs as we are. Additionally, I don't really see the 'well, if it were medically required' argument because surely the level of anesthesia would be the same, and hospitals are unlikely to risk a public backlash that would result from the failure to provide satisfactory pain relief to babies. However, YANBU to discuss your objections with DH and to come to a decision together. If your DH was brought up with Jewish relatives and influences in his life, it could be that he is fearful of what may happen to Ds further down the line if he, as his DF fails to ensure adherence to a commandment. He may also not understand the strength of your feelings on the subject and the reasons for it, so either way, it can only be resolved with discussion, in RL.

FWIW, I don't see why people object to this procedure it is carried out on a huge number of boys all over the world, for a variety of reasons, and if the consequences were so disastrous to health and well being, I'm sure the WHO would move to educate against the practice, as they have done with the female equivalent.

IMO it's not about the mother's or father's opinion in this case since it affects neither of them directly. It's purely about the infant so I would support the parent who was anti-circumcision.

The only other commonly brought up thing I can think of where if parents argue the mother's view is often "unfairly" regarded more highly is breastfeeding, IMO that is as it should be, as it is her body.

I don't think the consequences of circumcision are terrible but it's unnecessary pain inflicted on a person who cannot consent. We should be asking "why circumcise" rather than "why not".

Would the anaesthesia be the same? Surely not, my boys had general anaesthetics whilst having their medically necessary procedures, with a long acting painkiller directly injected into the penis whilst still under.

It still hurt them.

I am more offended by some of the moderation here than some of the offensive comments. For days now moderators have allowed offensive comments about one individual who was found dead to remain, whilst deleting comments which might be seen as derogatory of a religion!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get a grip on the level of offense caused.

Anaesthesia the same as what Glitterknickaz?

People object to it because it is primitive and stupid to do this to children. There is no benefit from doing it.

It is possible to follow a religion (if you must... all religions are inherently ridiculous) while disregarding the disgusting, barbaric, unnecessary bits. As clearly demonstrated by the fact that groups and sects within all the major myth brands have rejected the horrible aspects of their chosen mythologies (there are for example gay Christian churches, despite the homophobia of some Christian sects, there are feminist Muslims, and there is, as stated upthread by someone else, a group of Jews Against Circumcision.)

Most superstitions have in the past considered it acceptable to murder unbelievers. All but the most completely demented have now agreed that this is not on and shouldn't be allowed. So mutiliating your children in the name of your imaginary friend is inexcusable when people who share your imaginary friend are not doing it, and still comfortable within their own cultures, and they are not doing it because it is wrong.

Totally agree with you solidgold.

If there really was an almighty being would he really be telling his followers to lob off the end of their babies penises? Why stop there? What else should we lob off in the name of religion?

Won't comment on those doing this as a religious thing, I personally wouldn't. What I am v confused about though are the commentsaround it being more hygienic, a health issue (eh?) and is somehow better for protecting against STIs. CONDOMS people!!!

Atheism is a belief on par with religion.....

I am 100% in agreement with SGB.

glitter no, people have already said they're sons had anaesthetic sprey.

Their*

Once again sgb You are spot on!

I would agree with most other people here, not to put a baby through a painful procedure it doesn't need. Poor little thing!

I would love to see what the comments would be if op was thinking about female circumcision?

IMO, vile thing to do to a baby, whatever "reasons" you couch it in.

For the record, I would not circumcise my son, I would rather wait and let him decide when he's older. I think if one parent isn't happy with unnecessary surgery being performed on their baby, they should definitely have the right to veto it.

Though I just want to clear up that only conservative synagogues would reject your son as Jewish if you and/or your OH decided to raise him that way . It's not fair to tar them all with the same brush. I am a 1/4 Jewish, OP, and I still see it as a part of my heritage, so it's likely your son might one day.

Still, I strongly think that people should be allowed to choose their own paths when it comes to religion, so physically chopping away at them to mark them out when they can't even talk is something I would never consider!

Try popping a bit of emla cream on your eyelid before you cut it off.

See how it helps.