To be daydreaming about having a minor accident that puts me in hospital for a couple of days :(

[larks35]

I know I am really. But I am just so worn out! I work full-time and have a 3yo and 8mo. Mine is the main (at this point only) income we have. I do enjoy my job (teacher) and that is my main focus during the week. But I obviously also love my family and they are my focus in the evenings and weekends. DD has been teething and a bit ill recently so nights have been broken. I had another parents' evening tonight (have had one per week for the last 3 weeks). I have a mound of marking that I'll struggle to do, probably tomorrow, saturday and sunday evening.

I just need a break! And yes, I know I'll get two weeks off over Christmas and I am lucky with that compared to others, but that is just another kind of work and I'm all out of steam .

So my daydream is to have a minor accident that entails a two night stay at hospital. Work will be sympathetic, DP will have to cope and I'll just sleep and read. I obviously need to work on my work/life balance.

I have felt so much guilt for thinking like this and I've chastised myself by saying if I did get ill and died leaving the DDs motherless I would have brought it on myself. I fantasise about conditions that are serious enough to warrant treatment and staying off work but not life threatening, yet elicit sympathy so boss doesn't expect me to be "working from home" taking calls and email. Also and i am quite quite ashamed to add, this illness must have as a requirement that I am only allowed to do a little light housework during time off (otherwise DH would swing into I have a SAHW mode and I'd find myself building the shed that we've not had time to put up, painting the house, laying a new path etc as well as all the cooking cleaning and general guff that goes into maintaining a home).
Sigh .... So far I've come up with - emergency hysterectomy! (Obviously only any good if you don't want any more DC ).
Writing it down I am more ashamed to be thinking about such things ... I am... But also so knackered and hacked off and burned out that I will admit that being hospitalised for an emergency op and subsequent recouperation time is a more appealing fantasy than anything the Mr Shades of grey bloke could dream up ( not even had time to read the book).

I have actually considered telling my gynae consultant that my endometrial ablation didn't work as he said the next step would be a hysterectomy. 12 weeks off?

But then I did think that having unnecessary major surgery which would put me into an early menopause might be a bit extreme.

I had 4 weeks off after gallbladder removal - first ten days of which involved doing very little I as was sleeping about 15 hours a day.

That was quite nice...

I've always thought the Autumn term is much too long, especially for those little ones in Reception who have only just started school.
Everyone ends up tired, stressed and ill for the much too short Christmas holidays.
Maybe a longer half term is the answer, like a lot of the private schools do.

I don't recommend hospital for a relaxing break, though. Not these days!

We had no water in school last week so kids couldn't stay. It was an early Christmas fucking miracle.

When I was a student nurse many moons ago and very drunk I allowed another nurse to smack me in the knee with a plug lead in order to get a minor injury which could require a day off.

Being a big girl she whacked me a bit too hard and smashed several ligaments which required surgery and much pain...

Still I did get time off..

thebody. Be careful what you wish for and all that!

thebody I literally walk to the school gates every morning PRAYING for something like the water not being on. Anything! I don't care!

I work in a school (behaviour support) and I've got to have explorative op which means I get to finish day and half early. Grotty op but makes it worth finishing early :)