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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 week old being taken to Scotland for 3days

116 replies

DillyDallyDayDream · 11/12/2012 22:10

Posting for a friend

Her MIL (they have a shit relationship) is demanding she takes my friends 10 week old away to Scotland for 3days. She's saying no as the distance is quite big (would travel from South east England).

Who's being unreasonable my friend or her mil?

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 11/12/2012 23:14

When I read these post about loony MiLs, I always want to ask how well the MiL's boobs work...

gallicgirl · 11/12/2012 23:21

I'm guessing the MIL is being demanding from the other end of the phone.

Hang up.

Job done.

flow4 · 12/12/2012 00:00

Oh I dunno, maybe the MIL has a point...

Naaaah, ONLY JOKING! Grin

Just thought I should try and introduce a bit of variety Grin... We don't normally all agree on AIBU... But the MiL is soooooo U that I don't think you're going to get a single dissenting voice!

blackeyedsusan · 12/12/2012 00:06

flow 4... i was going to say..." but she is the child's grandmther... " ...
so tell her to fuck off no, no, no NO

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 12/12/2012 00:12

What ATruth said. Her exact words.

CoolaYuleA · 12/12/2012 00:32

MIL is being totally unreasonable - at 10 weeks the longest I left DD was to have a bath whilst she was in bed.

As another way of telling her fuck OFF no, how is she planning on getting the baby there? Babies under six months should not be in a carseat for more than 2 hours. Even flying to Scotland, with drives at either end this is likely to be too long. If they are driving it's no chance from a health/safety perspective.

Although I would just go with a) "Fuck off". And no competent SW would ever suggest that this is acceptable.

zipzap · 12/12/2012 00:38

I would tell the MIL that of course she can take her gc to scotland for a few days once they are ready for it. Which won't be until about August 13th 2027 at the very earliest.

That way you are saying yes - but not yet. While you say No she can argue back as she is obviously a loon. If you say that she can but only once the child is ready then she is being the unreasonable one as she wants to take it before it is ready.

I'd also seriously consider reporting the MIL to SS - yes, I know she is a SW. But if she thinks that it is right to take a perfectly fine baby away from its mum at 10 weeks and subject it to two very long drives in a few days then she shouldn't be...

Narked · 12/12/2012 00:42

'She's a social worker'

I wouldn't care if she's Mary-fucking-Poppins, taking a 10 week old away from their mother - who doesn't want them to go - for three days, hundreds of miles away is an utterly fuckwittish idea.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 12/12/2012 01:00

Narked that is so weird. My nickname in the homeless shelter I worked in was Mary-fucking-Poppins. Coined by a lovely lady who was very proud she had come up with it. Since I am the original Mary-fucking-Poppins I can tell you that, NO, even I shouldn't be taking a 10 week old to Scotland.

piprabbit · 12/12/2012 01:03

I must have the baby... or else...

Or else what exactly - what is the MiL threatening to do that could possible force the OPs friend to change her mind?

Lawabidingmama · 12/12/2012 01:10

Flip me absolutely mental!! At 10 weeks old I wouldn't have let my mil take my baby round the block for ten minutes (or anyone else) I actually can't believe this is being suggested! My eldest DD is nearly 3 and if my mil or DM for that matter asked to take her anywhere for 3 days I would not hesitate in saying no! Crikey o Reilly! This is very bizarre!

myfirstkitchen · 12/12/2012 01:47

no-one would take my 10 week old baby away from me, regardless of what degree they have!

CSIJanner · 12/12/2012 03:27

What Zipzap said.

deleted203 · 12/12/2012 03:47

Fucking hell! It's an insane suggestion. Tell her to fuck off, she's mad.

DeafLeopard · 12/12/2012 06:06

Not that you need it as there are so many, but another YANBU from me

jaggythistle · 12/12/2012 06:19

MIL is being ridiculously unreasonable.

if Scottish family want to see tiny baby that much, they can come and visit. FFS.

jaggythistle · 12/12/2012 06:30

also mine are 8 months and 3 and have never been away overnight. 10 weeks!

sleepybump · 12/12/2012 06:31

Be strong for your friend, it's got to be fuckin horrible being pressured by your partner & his mother. Your friend is absolutely right to say no, and keep saying no, don't even let her give in to betweeny-options ("well if I can't take her to scotland, I'll have her at mine overnight..." etc etc)... I couldn't even understand why PIL would want to take my baby into another room to coo over her at that age let alone let them take her away from me! lol - She's now 14months and has never been away from either me or her dad - Neither of us could have her go away overnight anywhere yet either! (she's not ready to be away from us, let alone me mental state at having her be away!)

be strong for her x

sleepybump · 12/12/2012 06:33

ps jaggythistle has it spot on...

Why are family not visiting her if they want to meet the new arrival?? That's the NORMAL thing to do...

waterrat · 12/12/2012 06:45

I have only just left my 7 month old for one night - with his dad, in his own home and it was really weird being away for so long - and he was unsettled by it. At 10 weeks I had just about left him for long enough to get my hair cut.

The dad is the wierd one in all of this.

Original poster
DillyDallyDayDream · 12/12/2012 20:22

Update:

Mil though it be ok for friends was DP (split up over this and many other things the mil does) to take the baby so booked flights,

OP posts:
chrismissymoomoomee · 12/12/2012 20:28

You and your DP have split up?

And MIL booked the flights for your baby anyway?

Is that right or did I misread?

LynetteScavo · 12/12/2012 20:29

The MIL can go take a running jump.

She's being beyond unreasonable.

Tell her to come back when the child is ten years old.

CatchingMockingbirds · 12/12/2012 20:31

Hmm I don't think anyone would be ok with their mil taking their 10wk old away for a 3 day holiday without them, nevermind if they don't even get on! Let her waste her money on flights, your friend doesn't have to give her baby to the mil.

LemonBreeland · 12/12/2012 20:35

The MIL would need identification to take the baby on a plane anyway. And a letter from the parents allowing it to fly, couldbe quite tricky.

No way would a 10wk old baby be going anywhere without me if I was it's Mother. And 3 days! Not a chance she would even babysit for a few hours after this if it was me.